Just wondering if anyone had a similar experience??

[Dimples1973ca]

Just wondering if anyone had a similar experience??

About 8 months ago DH decided we were going to go to Disney in August 2010. I told our friends, family that if they would like to join us. Well we got some mixed reviews. Some about the heat, some about money, some just smiled said it sounded good. But no other family said YES When do you want to look at plans and book? (OK mild exaggeration but there wasn't a commitment to go).

I proceeded to research vacation homes, staying on property, approximate flight costs ect... Still no one committed. Then in May, we were so blessed to have been chosen to be parents of a beautiful 2 year old girl. Our focus was on her and getting her settled this summer. After much discussion DH and I decided to change our plans to Christmas 2009. DH is a full time teacher working on a Masters Degree and therefore our times to travel are limited. We also chose December to celebrate the on year anniversary to having the adoption final.

I posted my excitement about Disney for Christmas on my Facebook and MSN. Well, last week I got an email from one of the friends we had asked if they were interested in joining us, accusing me that I was ALWAYS changing plans and they were upset that I let down their children. He went on to say that it wasn't cool how we ditched them this summer. I am sorry but becoming a first time parent was very time consuming and we had little time for anyone or anything else. Grrrrrrr

When no one was definite on plans, I went ahead and took care of my family. Is that wrong? This really upsets me to imply that I am not a good friend. What do you think I should do??

 

[DisneyFreak06]

Congratulations on the adoption! That's really wonderful news!

As to the friend, I would just explain that you were not under the impression that they had decided to go. I see nothing wrong with your decision. You did what you thought best for your family, and since you had no definite responses, you didn't need to contact them. They can still go on their own if they do not want to dissapoint their kids.

I had been talking to my siblings about taking a trip in summer 09 or 10, but one of my sisters kept saying "I'm not going until my kids are older" and then I hear that her husband's family is going this april and they are going!

Oh well, I know my family and most of them would never end up going anyways, so I'm not even going to plan anything until I start getting some money or something from them!

 

[cabmom]

Congrats on your adoption!

Give them some websites to look at, and let them to book their own trip.

We are always asking friends if they want to come with us, it always ends up that no one can come when we go. Unfortunate, but that's the way it works.

Plan your trip and enjoy!

 

[laura001]

If you would like your friends to join you, let them all know when you are going etc. and let them know that you would love for them to join the vacation. Ask them to let you know and you will give them the particulars. If they chose not to go, that is a choice that they make, not you, so I am not sure why they should be upset.

Go and have a great time on your vacation!

 

[Jaymie]

Is this a good friend? I can't think of any good friends of mine that would treat me that way. Especially after receiving the wonderful news of an upcoming adoption. Sounds like they're raining on your parade and probably wouldn't be much fun to travel with anyways.

I say tell them that Disney hasn't banned them and they are still welcome to travel in the summer.

CONGRATULATIONS!! and enjoy your little one's first Disney trip.

 

[jmann]

Personally, I would rethink calling someone like that a friend. We prefer to travel with just the 3 of us(Mom, Dad, Daughter5yr). Although travelling with friends can be fun we have found that not everyone wants to do the same things we do and vice-versa. Disney is already a big trip with planning etc., I could not imagine trying to plan for a big group.
Congratulations.

 

[Dimples1973ca]

Thanks for the congrats and advice. This guy is my husbands best friend. I also didn't want to keep asking people just incase money was the issue. I don't want them to feel bad about the cost associated with taking a family of five opposed to our family of three. When he first mentioned the plan change, on an IM on MSN, I told him we are going in December and we could go again in August 2010. I didn't blow him off. To which he replied "I wish I had your money" and at that point still no real commitment on going. Oh well. I am enjoying the planning process and our DH will have a great time. I never accepted the role of group planner anyways.

 

[dvcdisney]

When he first mentioned the plan change, on an IM on MSN, I told him we are going in December and we could go again in August 2010. I didn't blow him off. To which he replied "I wish I had your money" and at that point still no real commitment on going.

(I think you are handling this better that I would. If this was my situation, the offer to go would have left the table as soon as he mentioned that you let them down.)

However, it has been my experience that when people make comments such at these they have some type of stressor happening in their lives. I couldn't imagine a friend, especially a best friend, say something like that. I think you'll find, as long as they are good friends, that an apology will soon come.

Either way, I agree that the your daughter is more important than anyone else. And that you should do what is right for your family. I don't believe that you are expected to keep any plans when no one said that they would go.

 

[dvcdisney]

We prefer to travel with just the 3 of us(Mom, Dad, Daughter5yr). Although travelling with friends can be fun we have found that not everyone wants to do the same things we do and vice-versa. Disney is already a big trip with planning etc., I could not imagine trying to plan for a big group.

Exactly!

 

[ottawamom]

I also think you handled the friend beautifully. You simply announced you are going in December. You, as mentioned, hadn't canceled plans for 2010. He was being very small to give you the must be nice comment. Go in December and have a great time with your new daughter. We always travel with our immediate family unit for that very reason. So much less confusion.

 

[Sheribo]

You have nothing to feel bad about. They had plenty of time to respond to your request. A yes is only a yes when it's said out loud.

BTW, my avatar picture is of my Jillian. We call her Jilly too but that picture is my favourite 'Jack & Jill' moment. Congratulations!!

 

[pxlbarrel]

Bah, ditch the supposed "good" friend. He should be happy for you not dumping on you for dissappointing HIS children. Puhlease...if he was interested in the trip, he should have said something instead of staying silent hoping SOMEBODY ELSE would do all the work for HIM. Bah...with friends like that, who needs enemies.

Go enjoy Disney with your brand new daughter. It'll be more of an intimate experience without the hangers on.

And congrats to being new parents. I don't have kids but I think Disney takes on a whole new meaning when you've got one to take to the parks.

 

[minnie56]

All too often travelling with friends it becomes complicated. Doesn't sound as if it was 'cast in stone' to me in the 1st place so I wouldn't be too terribly concerned! Whole different story when the times/dates have been agreed upon and then one bails!
JMO..

 

[pxlbarrel]

Thanks for the congrats and advice. This guy is my husbands best friend. I also didn't want to keep asking people just incase money was the issue. I don't want them to feel bad about the cost associated with taking a family of five opposed to our family of three. When he first mentioned the plan change, on an IM on MSN, I told him we are going in December and we could go again in August 2010. I didn't blow him off. To which he replied "I wish I had your money" and at that point still no real commitment on going. Oh well. I am enjoying the planning process and our DH will have a great time. I never accepted the role of group planner anyways.

Holy crap....I HATE IT when people make that comment "I wish I had your money." What a load of doo doo. When people say that, they don't know how much you scrimp, how you go to Dollar stores instead of the Bay, how you don't go out drinking or dining, movies are dvds not the Cineplex down the road, etc etc.

I absolutely despise people who make those comments. I might have responded by telling him that he too could go if he saved his money instead of squandering it.

 

[Csaks]

About 8 months ago DH decided we were going to go to Disney in August 2010. I told our friends, family that if they would like to join us. Well we got some mixed reviews. Some about the heat, some about money, some just smiled said it sounded good. But no other family said YES When do you want to look at plans and book? (OK mild exaggeration but there wasn't a commitment to go).

From the paragraph above it seems like you received a bunch of ho hums and maybes. If some one is really interested they would have said something, I would imagine. So you planned for your family and the date changed to suit YOUR family. Don't let this person upset you, maybe they are using you as an excuse to not go for their children because they were never intending to go in the first place. I hope they are not considered a good friend because that was low IMO.

Congrats on the adoption.

 

[snickerboo]

Is this a good friend? I can't think of any good friends of mine that would treat me that way. Especially after receiving the wonderful news of an upcoming adoption. Sounds like they're raining on your parade and probably wouldn't be much fun to travel with anyways.

I totally agree! You don't want to be travelling with these people. Go and enjoy your beautiful new daughter's first trip to WDW. If your friends can't understand how meaningful this will be for you, maybe they don't deserve your friendship.