Just very sad right now

[Kennywife]

I know I should be happy. I have a great marriage to a great guy; several Disney trips coming (I am a travel writer and specialize in Disney), and am starting on my new book!!!!

But, I'm just miserable right now. I'm lonely. My hubby is a workaholic and I have depression/Epilepsy. I have told him how I feel a million times and that I wish we could be toghether more. He thinks everything is fine.

Sometimes, I just feel so lonely and so empty. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve all the good things that happen to me. I've never been able to get past being an Epileptic. I always feel I have to work to the next big thing. I can't just be me.

I can't put this on the CB board. I'll get the usual flaming. I just needed to talk it out.

Anna

 

[chrisw127]

I'm sorry. Is there anyone you can talk to?

 

[redheadtove]

I'm sorry that you are having a bad day...everyone is entitled to those...WE all have them.. I believe that everything happens for a reason whether it is an illness or meeting a person on the street. As the saying goes " What does not kill us makes us stronger" You need to think positive, you are a good person who deserves to have good things happen in your life. Remember that tomorrow is another day... It will be better...

 

[dogodisney]

I understand how you feel. I went through the same things in my marriage. We were recently divorced after 22 years.

My advice to you is to keep letting your husband know how you feel and in the meantime you should occupy your time with things you enjoy. Don't just sit there and be miserable. Life goes by too fast.

How bad is your Epilepsy? Is it controlled my meds? My DGD (8) has epilepsy too but her is mild (as in she doesn't have Grand Mal)and iti is controlled by meds.

I wish you all the best.

 

[Kennywife]

Well, I do talk to him about it at length. But he never wants to hear it. He thinks everything is just fine.

I have Temporal Lobe seizures as well as Grand Mal. Mine are Catamenial based. (brought on by AF). I take Topamax, Lamictal, and Lyrica for seizures. My fertility dx ( we were ttc until we found out I have tubal issues that require surgery) has told me once the tubes are fixed, my seizures will be much better.

I cook, write, and travel. That's what makes me happy. I'm under treatment for depression, but when I have increased seizures (due ro stress), all bets are off.

We are going to Disneyland for the D23 event. Kenny is looking forward to getting away. I just want to be with him. Been watching Ferris Bueller this weekend and laughing. I needed that.

Anna

 

[Kennywife]

I only started talking about my seizures in the past year and a half. In addition to Epilepsy, I have seizures, IBS, depression, infertility, and a repaired crushed tibia femur bone in my lower right leg. I have traveled all across the country solo despite it all.

I was diagnosed with seizures at 19. I'm 34 now. I've always felt shame or embarrassment about them; like if others knew they would pity me or something. I know it's illogical, but that's how I felt. Then, when I started traveling, I admitted to friends my situation and they looked at me in amazement..."you traveled across country by yourself with seizures?!"

My mom has told me to not be afraid to be open with others about it. I am finally writing about it in my book I'm writing.

Last nite, hubby came in my office and sat down next to me. He spent time with me. It didn't feel so lonely.

 

[dogodisney]

Glad to hear you had a better night last night.

With all that you have going on in your life, it's no wonder that you are depressed. You certainly have a lot to deal with.
Don't be ashamed that you have epilepsy. So many people don't have a clue as to what it is or what to expect so you talking about it will help educate them about it. It will probably help you too.

This site is a good place to come to escape our every day lives.

I hope you have a magical trip. Disney is always such a spirit lifter.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I understand about just being you and your husband and wanting more time. I never get enough time with my husband. It seems we are going in the opposite direction all the time.

One thing I do to help is to treat myself to things when I can't spend time with him. It may be a chick flick or a romance novel or some brownies but it is something for me. In the past 10 years I have learned to not wait for my husband to be around to be happy or I'd never be happy. I've had to learn to make myself happy. I hope you can find things to do whether at home or out and about that can help when you can't spend time with your husband.

As for the embarssment of epilepsy, I don't understand. It is an illness that can't be helped. It's not like you wanted and it and made it happen. Of course that is all easy to say than to believe.

I say all this because I have a mom that suffers from epilepsy and depression. It seems like one can trigger the other with a flip of the button and then you throw in hormone changes and hell will be set loose. I know it is a constant struggle for her as well.

I hope you feel better.

 

[Kennywife]

I go to the spa every month and spend time with family. I love to read and have gotten back into walking. It helps.

 

[stasijane]

I'm sorry you have been feeling low here lately. Not that I have medical conditions. but I can slightly relate to the being away from your spouse. I work 3rd and he works during the day. I also have school in the afternoons so its a little hectic sometimes. Hopefully you come to feel better soon.

 

[dogodisney]

How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. Just wanted to check on you since you haven't posted recently.

 

[AnnaS]

How are you feeling today? Do you have some close friends or family members to talk to? Do you meet up with any of them for coffee or lunch sometimes? Would you volunteer?

Are you religious? Do you attend any services? Perhaps some other distraction might help you right now. Do you get to spend some time with hubby? Dinners together, etc.? If not - perhaps a dinner date or two during the week if he would go for it.

 

[Kennywife]

Hey. I'm here. Doing better. Just back from Disneyland. It was fun. Hubs and I are gonna take a drive soon just to get out. Mu tags came from ME TODAY!!!!! happy!

I have had depression for as long as I can remember. It comes and goes
I do not belong to any religion and don't wish to.

I come to Places like this to talk

 

[AnnaS]

Hey. I'm here. Doing better. Just back from Disneyland. It was fun. Hubs and I are gonna take a drive soon just to get out. Mu tags came from ME TODAY!!!!! happy!

I have had depression for as long as I can remember. It comes and goes
I do not belong to any religion and don't wish to.

I come to Places like this to talk

Glad you are better today and had a great trip. Keep smiling!!!!!!

 

[dogodisney]

Glad to hear that you are doing ok.