just looking though my mail...INVITES GALORE!!!

[mykidsand_i]

Ok, we were gone for the weekend we get home today and I was just going through the mail. We got a bunch of invites. 1 birthday invite for a friend of one of my daughters, 2 wedding invites, bridal shower, a GRADUATION invite (WHO in the heck sends them out this early???? Plus, we live 5 states away and they aren't even close family???), a house-warming invite (with registry attatched from 3 stores!?!?!?! WHAT?), and a tupperware party (for the same person the house warming party, wedding and bridal shower is for!)!

This one lady has now sent me 4 invitations (and I only know her because she's a 'friend of a close friend of mine')!!! She sent me her wedding invitation, with a list of places she's registered at, her bridal shower invitation, mentioning that it's a 'lingere party', a HOUSE WARMING party, with a list of registered places AND a Tupperware party...with her 'wish list' attatched to her tupperware invite. I met this lady through my neighbor and very good friend- but even she isn't that close of friends with her. She complains about her 'needy attitude' and 'weird ways' all the time.

This lady is nuts. Or is it just me? Is this normal? Is she just trying to 'include me' or is she totally out of line? I belive that it looks like she's just asking for a bunch of presents. It looks really odd. She must have sent out the invites all on the same day! Cause we got them ALL on Sat. PLUS, she's throwing herself the bridal shower! Is that right? Am I too old fashioned? I thought that a brides wedding party/friends or relatives threw the shower?

Wow, what do I say? I mean obviously, I don't want to be rude- but I know that I won't be going to any of this stuff she's invited me to. I should say that I won't be attending, but how do i do that and not look like the witch? She may be out of line, but i don't want to be rude or dis-respectful.

 

[maggiew]

I can't comment on the rest, but I wanted to comment on the graduation party invite. We live far away from family and many friends, so I was planning on sending out a "Save the Date" for my DD's graduation party on June 5. I wasn't going to send an actual invitation, but I wanted to give out of town people enough time to make arrangements to come. I know several who plan to attend and just need to know the date. However, I am only sending these to family and close friends who I would really like to celebrate with us. Maybe that is what the person you received a graduation invite was doing. I think you mentioned you were out of state from them.

Maggie

 

[DVCBELLE]

I think it is very odd to throw your own wedding shower and housewarming shower. Part of me says she must be very lonely and desperate for friends. It is kind of sad that she has to throw those parties for herself. The other part of me says she is just looking for gifts.

You could get her something small for each event if you want to go and just enjoy the time with friends. You never know what your friendship might mean to someone.

 

[Justsyd2]

Well, since it's considered tacky to send an invitation with a registry list, I'd ignore those. And, if you're invited to more than ONE event for the same person, ONE gift is all that is required regardless of how many events you attend for them. Just say that you won't be able to attend, and leave it at that.

For the out of town graduate -- sending a nice card is acceptable.

 

[badblackpug]

Hosting your own bridal shower....tacky! Really it's just a grab for gifts. ...and saying it's a "lingerie party" seems like its going to be one of those home demonstration things where you are expected to buy over priced crap you don't need or want. I hate demonstration "parties." They are not parties, they are high pressure sales tactics that use friendship to guilt you into buying overpriced crap you don't want or need. Including a registry or "wish list" in any invitation....tacky!

I would just RSVP my regrets and leave it at that.

Assuming the graduation is in June, a February invite is a little premature. I would send a card at the appropriate time.

 

[espana94]

I can't comment on the rest, but I wanted to comment on the graduation party invite. We live far away from family and many friends, so I was planning on sending out a "Save the Date" for my DD's graduation party on June 5. I wasn't going to send an actual invitation, but I wanted to give out of town people enough time to make arrangements to come. I know several who plan to attend and just need to know the date. However, I am only sending these to family and close friends who I would really like to celebrate with us. Maybe that is what the person you received a graduation invite was doing. I think you mentioned you were out of state from them.

Maggie

I'm with Maggie on this one...The grad invite is probably more of a "save the date" type thing. When DD18 graduated last spring, we sent out save the date cards to all of our out-of-town family and friends in early April. The party was in late June. We then sent out the real invitations in late May.

We had several family members who lived several states away call and thank us for the save the date card. They got her party on the calendar and were able to attend.

As for the multiple invites from the same person, I would say pick one event to attend (if you want), purchase a small token gift and decline the rest with the excuse that you have other invitations and obligations. 'Tis the season for weddings and graduations after all.

 

[mykidsand_i]

Yeah, we'll be sending a card for the graduate- I have no problem with that. The fact of it is that we've not seen these distant relatives in over 4 years and THAT was at a funeral...before that we hadn't seen them in several years...and they don't keep in contact with us. It's a 2nd cousins son who's graduating. I believe I'll send a card- which is appropriate.

I spoke with my neighbor who is just FUMING that this 'friend' of hers is sending EVERYONE invites to ALL of her stuff...which is all taking place with in 2 months of eachother! My neighbor and close friend said that she's only going to the wedding. There won't be a shower, tupperware party or house warming...this lady had the NERVE to COMPLAIN about the cost of inviting and having all these people attend to my neighbor! They aren't really even that close of friends (or so she said)...this lady has sent out over 70 invites to her bridal shower! That's a bit odd i think.

I'll send the 'pre-postmarked' postcard back and politely decline to everything (haven't made up my mind about the wedding though- it may be nice to go). My neighbor wants me to go to the wedding with her, because her husband refuses to have anything to do with this lady! Who knows, maybe her and I should go. I guess it would be good for furthering friendships with this lady.

 

[ckdsnynt]

You do NOT host your own parties or showers! Super tacky!

 

[Rellagirl]

Wow... someone is either needy for friends or for gifts, maybe both!
Whenever I've gone to demontration parties, I with a mindset of buying something for me or as a gift. Not as a gift for the hostess! That's ridiculous IMO. Perhaps those parties are done differently than they are around here?