just curious dont want this to get out of control bathroom use

[sam_gordon]

I really try and avoid bathroom gender discussions because I feel like the transphobia labels are tossed around wily nily.

My issue is not, and never has been, a trans woman in the bathroom. They’ve probably been there all along - I never noticed and don’t care. My issue is men being able to get away with being in women’s spaces and potentially using that for harm. Is that a fear based in reality? No idea. But it’s where I am. Bathrooms are not patrolled, and often empty and in the corner of buildings. It’s often where teens go in school to do things they aren’t supposed to. It’s the same reason I was taught to walk to my car with my keys in my hands to make a quick entry to my car in a dark parking lot. And now we cant even say, hey, he’s not supposed to be in here.

And again, that Trans woman wouldn’t even draw my attention and she’s just as likely, if not more, to be a victim. So it’s not about her. But here we are.

I think some people DO have an issue with trans women in the bathroom. This is from the op...

there were 3 guys in there dressed as women
I needed to use the bathroom but they walked into the ladies room ahead of me

Now, were they trans?

I do think you (general) are going to see more unisex bathrooms in the near future. I would hope the entities controlling the bathrooms would take appropriate steps to make sure the activities that need to happen in private, actually happen in private (so get rid of the gaps in the stalls).

 

[TheIncredibles!]

If they would give us proper bathroom stalls that would solve a lot of unease. Most of this is just foreign to people, we are all just venturing out into changes like these in society and when we have as little privacy as we do in public bathrooms as it is, it can obviously make the current unease even worse.

I personally do not care who is in there with me as I rarely go in one alone etc. But I can see how it could feel unsafe to somebody with anxiety to walk into a place where they feel vulnerable to see somebody that makes them uncomfortable for some reason. We don't always have to make sense of how other's feel but we can try and make EVERYBODY feel more comfortable if we can stop this stupid stall like a horse nonsense

 

[DisneyOma]

So you would rather leave out a key piece of information when designating bias-motivated crimes? An assault occurs, there is a possible difference in motivation for a victim who is a male dressed in loafers/jeans/flannel and an AMAB wearing stilettos and a miniskirt. If we just said the victim was dressed "not naked", there would be a delay in investigation for the bias-motivated factors which is a huge disservice to the victim. I think victims would rather their crimes be investigated fully...

The unfortunate reality is that people target others due to their sexuality, gender identity, religion, political party, etc., etc. Accurately describing the situation is the only way we can fully investigate these events.

You've gone on a bit of a stretch here - and actually have been able to do what you claim I "left out" quite easily with out using the term transvestite. That was my point - the word didn't need to be used (even for your crime scenario) and the gender inclusiveness of the clothing didn't have to be detailed either. I mean, a woman could dress in loafers, jeans, and a flannel too, right?

 

[WGCFV]

I just wish we had bathroom stalls similar how they are set up in some places overseas(many European countries for example). The stalls are like going into a tiny private room with walls and a proper door that comes all the way down to the floor. I have no interest in seeing the person next to me, or across from me on "the throne" thru a giant gap in the stall door. I would actually even consider paying a small amount of money for a more private public bathroom experience at Disney, and I am not talking about the pay toilets of bygone eras(Grand Central Station in the 70's). I mean a whole new money making category for Disney Parks, "Premium Toilet Seating". Your own private stall, Disney Themed Toilet and TP, plus Disney music piping in. They are really missing out on another way to squeeze a few buck out of park guests

 

[starlite_]

W

I really try and avoid bathroom gender discussions because I feel like the transphobia labels are tossed around wily nily.

My issue is not, and never has been, a trans woman in the bathroom. They’ve probably been there all along - I never noticed and don’t care. My issue is men being able to get away with being in women’s spaces and potentially using that for harm. Is that a fear based in reality? No idea. But it’s where I am. Bathrooms are not patrolled, and often empty and in the corner of buildings. It’s often where teens go in school to do things they aren’t supposed to. It’s the same reason I was taught to walk to my car with my keys in my hands to make a quick entry to my car in a dark parking lot. And now we cant even say, hey, he’s not supposed to be in here.

And again, that Trans woman wouldn’t even draw my attention and she’s just as likely, if not more, to be a victim. So it’s not about her. But here we are.

What about leaving trans women to pee in peace allows men into women's spaces??

 

[Suger Mag]

I look forward to the day when we all get genital inspections before we are allowed to use a bathroom.. or perhaps that is too intrusive? But how else would we determine who can use what bathroom? Just going on appearance is way too subjective. Maybe we should all just be prepared to have to show government issued ID and/or Birth Certs before entering a public restroom?

Stupid right.... sigh


JUST LET FOLKS USE A BATHROOM IN PEACE


This fear mongering idea that predators will dress up to be able to use a public restroom to find victims is so out there. Predators dont need to.. if a bathroom is so sketchy and deserted that an assault can take place... how they are dressed or presenting will not matter as much as the environment. A bathroom filled with people doing their business (of whatever ilk... male female trans etc) will be safer than a single bathroom all alone frankly. How about taking care of yourself.... instead of worrying who is using a bathroom.... just dont use sketchy bathrooms

 

[amylevan]

I look forward to the day when we all get genital inspections before we are allowed to use a bathroom.. or perhaps that is too intrusive? But how else would we determine who can use what bathroom? Just going on appearance is way too subjective. Maybe we should all just be prepared to have to show government issued ID and/or Birth Certs before entering a public restroom?

Stupid right.... sigh


JUST LET FOLKS USE A BATHROOM IN PEACE


This fear mongering idea that predators will dress up to be able to use a public restroom to find victims is so out there. Predators dont need to.. if a bathroom is so sketchy and deserted that an assault can take place... how they are dressed or presenting will not matter as much as the environment. A bathroom filled with people doing their business (of whatever ilk... male female trans etc) will be safer than a single bathroom all alone frankly. How about taking care of yourself.... instead of worrying who is using a bathroom.... just dont use sketchy bathrooms

I never said that predators would dress as a female to gain access. But do you honestly think that if a predatory male walked into a female restroom right now that someone could report them without it turning into something? Could I walk up to security at my Target and say there’s a male in the ladies room without instantly becoming a bigoted Karen?

FWIW, there’s a trans woman in my office who transitioned since working there. I knew her before, and I share a bathroom with her now. And whatever, I don’t care. But again, she looks/acts/dresses as a female and would assume she raises no eyebrows wherever she goes because most probably don’t even know. But if Mr. Up-to-no-good walks into that same bathroom with nefarious ideas, reporting it to security would just raise eyebrows and label me.

 

[Suger Mag]

I never said that predators would dress as a female to gain access. But do you honestly think that if a predatory male walked into a female restroom right now that someone could report them without it turning into something? Could I walk up to security at my Target and say there’s a male in the ladies room without instantly becoming a bigoted Karen?

FWIW, there’s a trans woman in my office who transitioned since working there. I knew her before, and I share a bathroom with her now. And whatever, I don’t care. But again, she looks/acts/dresses as a female and would assume she raises no eyebrows wherever she goes because most probably don’t even know. But if Mr. Up-to-no-good walks into that same bathroom with nefarious ideas, reporting it to security would just raise eyebrows and label me.

yes, if anyone is in a bathroom acting inappropriate you can and should report them.

How about a female junkie hanging out in the woman's' room shaking down and threatening folks for money? Would you report them to security? Yes of course...

Gender and appearance does not matter... it is ACTIONS. Anyone can be a threat.

 

[JLTraveling]

You've gone on a bit of a stretch here - and actually have been able to do what you claim I "left out" quite easily with out using the term transvestite. That was my point - the word didn't need to be used (even for your crime scenario) and the gender inclusiveness of the clothing didn't have to be detailed either. I mean, a woman could dress in loafers, jeans, and a flannel too, right?

This. A person's preferred clothing has exactly zero to do with whether they're a criminal, and criminals can't be grouped by clothing. In other words, there is no amount of criminal profiling (the real, scientific kind as opposed to the fearmongering kind) that can be done based on someone's clothing habits. Now, if you want to create a meaningful profile, and you've watched the suspect for a while, it could be useful to say something like, "Generally dresses in jeans and T-shirts" or "often in business casual." Or if you saw a specific person doing something specifically sketchy, you might say, "suspect last seen wearing a party dress and tiara." But those are the details that matter, not whether or not the person's clothing happens to conform to societal gender norms.

This fear mongering idea that predators will dress up to be able to use a public restroom to find victims is so out there. Predators dont need to.. if a bathroom is so sketchy and deserted that an assault can take place... how they are dressed or presenting will not matter as much as the environment. A bathroom filled with people doing their business (of whatever ilk... male female trans etc) will be safer than a single bathroom all alone frankly. How about taking care of yourself.... instead of worrying who is using a bathroom.... just dont use sketchy bathrooms

And this. A predator of any gender would be pretty stupid indeed to try to commit an assault in a busy, well-lit bathroom. And if the bathroom's deserted, exactly who is going to report them or throw them out or whatever? All they need to do is hide and wait for their victim to enter.

yes, if anyone is in a bathroom acting inappropriate you can and should report them.

How about a female junkie hanging out in the woman's' room shaking down and threatening folks for money? Would you report them to security? Yes of course...

Gender and appearance does not matter... it is ACTIONS. Anyone can be a threat.

And again, this. If someone is in a bathroom doing something other than using the bathroom for its intended purpose, report them. It really is that simple.

 

[WGCFV]

This. A person's preferred clothing has exactly zero to do with whether they're a criminal, and criminals can't be grouped by clothing. In other words, there is no amount of criminal profiling (the real, scientific kind as opposed to the fearmongering kind) that can be done based on someone's clothing habits. Now, if you want to create a meaningful profile, and you've watched the suspect for a while, it could be useful to say something like, "Generally dresses in jeans and T-shirts" or "often in business casual." Or if you saw a specific person doing something specifically sketchy, you might say, "suspect last seen wearing a party dress and tiara." But those are the details that matter, not whether or not the person's clothing happens to conform to societal gender norms.


And this. A predator of any gender would be pretty stupid indeed to try to commit an assault in a busy, well-lit bathroom. And if the bathroom's deserted, exactly who is going to report them or throw them out or whatever? All they need to do is hide and wait for their victim to enter.


And again, this. If someone is in a bathroom doing something other than using the bathroom for its intended purpose, report them. It really is that simple.

I agree with your sentiments. However,I have to draw the line when it comes to Bronies, that freaks me out. Onetime I am was in a hotel bathroom and a large group of Bronies came in, I had the heebie-jeebies for weeks afterwards.

 

[wvjules]

Was it men dressed as women (drag)? or were they trans women?

And how did you know they were men?

 

[WGCFV]

Was it men dressed as women (drag)? or were they trans women?

And how did you know they were men?

No clue, wasn't on point on trans, I just don't like like a group of Bronies in the bathroom with me.

 

[tony67]

I agree with your sentiments. However,I have to draw the line when it comes to Bronies, that freaks me out. Onetime I am was in a hotel bathroom and a large group of Bronies came in, I had the heebie-jeebies for weeks afterwards.

You are opening a whole different can of oats here

 

[Dan Murphy]

Bronies

Bronies??

 

[sam_gordon]

Bronies??

I had to look it up. Apparently adult males who are fans of "My Little Pony". I'm not sure how that factors into this discussion.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Wondering where all you ladies are finding these empty, dangerous washrooms? Do you work late at night? If so have you talked to your employer? I mean any mall, restaurant, hospital, theme park, school would be a busy place with lots of people coming and going.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I had to look it up. Apparently adult males who are fans of "My Little Pony". I'm not sure how that factors into this discussion.

Thanks, Sam, I think.

for sure.

 

[WGCFV]

I had to look it up. Apparently adult males who are fans of "My Little Pony". I'm not sure how that factors into this discussion.

It doesn't at all. I was trying to lighten up a heavy topic. I think everyone can rally around not wanting to share the same bathroom with a bronie. Some people have a fear of clowns, me it's fear of Bronies.

 

[tony67]

Wondering where all you ladies are finding these empty, dangerous washrooms? Do you work late at night? If so have you talked to your employer? I mean any mall, restaurant, hospital, theme park, school would be a busy place with lots of people coming and going.

Well as a male I go into the rest room and its empty pretty often. Depending on the situation I am cautions. Standing alone in a restroom at a urinal and some one comes up behind you - not the best place to be.
For the most part I am just worried about my phone and wallet and getting hit upside the head.

As to the issue at hand here - I feel we are just going in circles at this point - neither side is going to concede any ground to the other and at the end of the day this is a Disney board

Now those Bronies on the other hand....

It doesn't at all. I was trying to lighten up a heavy topic. I think everyone can rally around not wanting to share the same bathroom with a bronie. Some people have a fear of clowns, me it's fear of Bronies.

Yeah most normies (normal people - not an insult IMO) have no idea what a Bronie is so it went over their heads and they are probably better off for it. I had a good laugh FWIW

 

[CdnCarrie]

Well as a male I go into the rest room and its empty pretty often. Depending on the situation I am cautions. Standing alone in a restroom at a urinal and some one comes up behind you - not the best place to be.
For the most part I am just worried about my phone and wallet and getting hit upside the head.

Like in your office building? I wouldn't want to work someplace where I'm scared to go to the bathroom!