Jess and Dennis's PJ: 09/15/08 WP, LSS, Lower French

[jmcgiffert]

We are set for our Wishes wedding on September 13, 2008. The first question I have is at any point can you change from a wishes wedding to an escape wedding. As it stands now, we have 18 guests coming (including kids). If my oldest sister and her family comes then we will be over an Escape wedding and that is why we went with a Wishes wedding. However, if she doesn't come, I can't see spending the money on a Wishes wedding if I don't have to. We received our contract two days ago and I have a call into Disney but have not received a call back yet. Has anyone heard of changing after the contract has been signed? My second question is I need some ideas for a rememberce during or directly after the ceremony. Our history and why I am asking this question. Dennis and I started dating 10 years ago. (yes, it has taken me this long to say yes). As soon as we started dating (I want to say within 2 weeks) we started living together. We must have known that this was it for us. Dennis has two kids from a previous marriage. I didn't have any. Three years later we were blessed with our son. Eighteen months later we had our daughter. When William was 3 1/2 years old and Carolyn was 21 months old we took them to Disney for the first time. We were only there for a day, but it was a day full of happiness. A week and a half later our beautiful daughter was killed by a car in our driveway. I am so thankful for the time we had with her and thank god everyday that we were able to take her to Disney. She was so happy that day. Two months later, due to the stress, I miscarried. One month later, I fould out I was pregnant again and in the process of, once again, losing the baby. The doctors put me on bed rest until I lost her. The following September, our miracle baby was born. When she was two weeks old we decided our family had enough and needed some time for us. We decided to go back to Disney for a week this time. And that's how it started. The following year, we were there for Elizabeth's first birthday. Last year we looked at the WP and LSS. We decided it was time. Our wedding party is made up for our children. My thought is ALL the kids will have a part in this this wedding including Carolyn. When we were there I asked if we could release butterflies in memory of her and I was told no because of the animal rights. Carolyn is a part of this family and I want her to have a special part just like the other kids (clearly it is in a different way). Anyone have any ideas? Sorry this is so long.

 

[hiwaygal]

Wow...your story is really touching!!!

Your family has been through so much and I'm so glad that you will finally be able to celebrate your lives together with this ceremony at Disney!

I know there are a lot of options for remembrances for your daughter. Perhaps you can have a special reading for her, or maybe see about a balloon release, or even having bubbles. You can have a table set just to the side of where you will be standing with a small rose to symbolize her presence at your ceremony.

The officiants offer several different ceremonies and many of them have passages that can help you include your children in your ceremony, it's really cool and unique!

I have heard of brides changing from Wishes to Escape (or the other way round) but I'm not sure if it was done before or after the contract has been signed. Talk to your coordinator and see what you can do. If there aren't any "competing" ceremonies for your day/time/location, they might be able to wait a little longer for your signed contract.

Good luck to you and I look forward to hearing more about your wedding!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

welcome & i agree...VERY touching story..my heart goes out to you & your family!
Im so happy you want to celebrate with ALL the children....VERY COOL

alot of girls i have talked with have had an empty chair with a rose, or a table with framed photos & a reading/prayer, someone incorporated something in thier dress..so its kinda what you want...sorry about the butterflies...that sounded cool!!!!

i cant help on the contract..sorry


congrats on your DFTW!!!

 

[curiouser]

Welcome to the boards and congrats! I am sorry for your loss but it's so touching that you still want Carolyn to be included. Did she have a favorite stuffed animal that you still have that one of your children could carry down the aisle and hold during the ceremony?

It's a shame about the butterflies -- OH! What about ladybugs? Disney does ladybug releases all the time, and while it's not as graceful as the butterflies flying away there's really something touching and beautiful about the little ladybugs crawling from your hand to a beautiful flower.

 

[jmcgiffert]

I hope I am doing this right. Not sure. Thank you for your ideas so far. Carolyn loved butterflies and balloons. During the funeral we released (I think) 50 balloons for her. Not sure. Really wasn't with it during that time. Every year for Thanksgiving we set an extra place setting for her and light a candle. I didn't think about ladybugs. I also thought about seeing if we can plant a flower for her, but I don't think Disney would allow that.

 

[hiwaygal]

I hope I am doing this right. Not sure. Thank you for your ideas so far. Carolyn loved butterflies and balloons. During the funeral we released (I think) 50 balloons for her. Not sure. Really wasn't with it during that time. Every year for Thanksgiving we set an extra place setting for her and light a candle. I didn't think about ladybugs. I also thought about seeing if we can plant a flower for her, but I don't think Disney would allow that.

Ask someone at Disney about a rose ceremony at the wishing well by the Castle. I know a couple of people who have done those before. It won't necessarily be part of your ceremony, but it could be something you plan to do with just your immediate family as a separate but not quite separate thing, you know?

 

[jmcgiffert]

I don't know if I could deal with strangers looking at our family. It will be a tough time for our whole family and I think I would like something alittle more private.

 

[jmcgiffert]

As for the wedding, we have our space already for the WP so I am not sure if that would make a difference in changing the contract. Still waiting for a call back.

 

[BaBeeCee14]

I'm sorry for your loss I think its a great idea for you to include Carolyn in your ceremony.

I was thinking maybe you can do a family sand ceremony and have each one of your kids (including Carolyn) can have a different color sand. I love sand ceremonies and how they symbolize everyone coming together as one.

Whatever you choose, I'm sure it will be beautiful.

 

[jmcgiffert]

What do you do during a sand ceremony? I have never heard of it.

 

[lov2b@disney]

I'm sorry for your loss I think its a great idea for you to include Carolyn in your ceremony.

I was thinking maybe you can do a family sand ceremony and have each one of your kids (including Carolyn) can have a different color sand. I love sand ceremonies and how they symbolize everyone coming together as one.

Whatever you choose, I'm sure it will be beautiful.

Your story is so touching! So, so sorry for your loss! Including her is a wonderful way to remember and include her in your ceremony!

For our wedding we are doing a family sand ceremony-with each of our boys having a different color sand- I'm sure they could include a special one for Carolyn if you did one.

 

[feline figaro]

Reading your words has left me with a lump in my throat, i am so sorry to hear of your tremendous loss but i think its absolutely beautiful the way in which you keep her memory alive. The "Butterfly " idea i thought was stunning, what a shame you are nt able to do that. Would they allow you to use Doves or something simlar?
Surely Disney will be able to come up with something a little special considering the circumstances. Im sure shes looking down on you & is extremely proud that you both want her to be such a big part of your special day.

Lots of magic sent your way with all your planning

 

[Desnik]

I am so sorry for your loss of Carolyn and your loss of your 2 other babies.

I do not know if you can change from a Wishes to an Escape. I know you can keep the same ceremony location, you said you were using the WP? I'm sure Disney will work with you with a way to honor your DD. I just saw on one of the wedding shows how they put a rose on an empty chair for the loved one who had passed. For my sisters wedding her DH wanted to honor his mom so they had a picture of her on a table with a rose and candle. In leu of favors they made a donation to the Epilepsy foundation(which is what his mother died from) I would think they would have no problem with the lady bug release because they do that themselves at WDW. Sorry I can't think of anything else.

 

[jmcgiffert]

Just talked to Diane from Disney. She said that "yes" we can change it to an Escape wedding even after the contract is signed. We should know by April when they offer the free dining plan again (I have my fingers crossed hoping they are going to offer it again since my family already has it) who is all coming down.

 

[jmcgiffert]

I am curious about a sand ceremony. Can anyone give me details about it?

 

[jmcgiffert]

I am going to ask about a dove release. I know that the Swan allows it and they are on Disney property so I don't know why Disney would not allow it. I would like to thank everyone for welcoming me to the boards. I have been looking for a year now and thanks to you, have come up with some great ideas. Thanks again.

 

[BaBeeCee14]

We are doing a sand ceremony for our wedding and basically I get a jar with one color of sand and my DF gets a jar with a different color of sand. He pours some of his sand into a 3rd jar, then I pour some of mine. Then we both pour the rest of the sand in together. The 2 colors of sand symbolize the 2 of you coming together as one.

Here is an example of what one looks like. You can have multiple colors - one for each person

Hope this helps!

 

[jmcgiffert]

That is really neat. I have never seen or heard about it before. Thanks for the picture.

 

[mermaidbride1108]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss

I like the flower on the chair the best - I think it's really touching, like you saved a special place for her to sit.

 

[jmcgiffert]

I wanted to start by saying thank you for all of your ideas for Carolyn. Many to decide from. Well I don't have a lot planned. Alli, Dennis's 16 year old, will be my MOH. I told her she could pick out the dresses for her and Natalie, my BM and Dennis's 12 year old. I told her the only requirements are fall colors due to us getting married September 15, 2008, nothing that Natalie will trip in and the price has to be reasonable. To a 16 year old maybe I should have given more of a price range. The girls decided they are going out today to look at dresses. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Not sure what they will decide on. Willilam, our 7 year old son, will be the Best Man. And Elizabeth, our 2 year old, will be the flower girl. Other than that, haven't decided on too much.