It's tough being a parent - Did I overreact?

[asta]

I had a nerve wrecking night last night. I woke up at 2 am with my cell phone ringing but didn't get to it in time to answer. It was my college age daughter calling who is in school in a city about 5 hours away. I immediately tried to call back but she didn't answer. After trying her number for 30 minutes the phone picks up but all I can hear is several distant voices and someone asking for a cigarette then the phone goes dead. I spent the rest of the night unable to sleep and trying to dial and message her phone that appeared to now be turned off. My daughter had just finished a rough week of tests and several all-night study sessions and was planning to drive home this morning after getting a good nights sleep. As of 11 am this morning, I still could not reach her so I tried calling one of her housemates. She wasn't at their house but promised to check for me. I waited 30 minutes and still hadn't heard anything. By then I was in full panic mode and called the police in her college town and asked them if they could check her house.

It turns out that she was OK but had fallen asleep and did not hear the phone. She uses the phone as her alarm clock but when she woke up the phone battery was dead. (I think that she might have turned it on by accident. Her housemates had friends over last night so I guess that I could hear them in the background.) My younger daughter is accusing me of overreacting but I am still shaken by all of the terrible thoughts that went through my head. I probably need to turn my alarm off and take a nap.

 

[MOREMICKEYFORME]

I don't think you over reacted. I would have done the same thing...maybe even driven there myself...
I too, have seen and heard way too many scary stories to take anything for granted!

 

[Jenvenza]

I dont think you overreacted. i think you did what any good parent would have done in that situation - and I am sure even though your daughter may think you overreacted now, when she becomes a mom, she will think differently. I am 30 and my parents would have done the same thing! She called late at night and then no one was able to track her down. I would have freaked out, too!!

I am glad she is okay!

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Here, have an eggnog. It's okay.

 

[burberryplaid]

Don't know if I would have called the police, but I would have been at least slightly freaked if I were you. Glad she is okay.

 

[HelenePA]

after what happened to the girl on the news who called 911 but the police didn't come for almost 50 min I would say NO you didn't over react!

 

[JoiseyMom]

As a mom of four..2 of them young adults..NO you did not over react!! I am glad she is ok.

 

[asta]

Thanks for the support. I don't want to be known as one of the dreaded helicopter parents but it is hard to not worry. When she goes back to school after Christmas break I am going to make sure that I have the cell phone numbers of her housemates. I didn't have those last night and didn't know how to get them without calling their parents. I wouldn't have a problem calling students at 2 in the morning since they stay up so late but it is another thing to wake another sleeping parent.

 

[buzz2400]

Better to be safe than sorry. So much garbage goes on at colleges. If it was my daughter I would have called the campus police as well. What if you didn't call the police and something really bad did happen to your daughter. That's how I would look at it.

 

[wall*e2008]

I don't think you over reacted. When I got connected and heard the cigarette talk that would have done it for me. I would have been driving to where she was.

 

[SeaShelley]

Of course you didn't overreact......your daughter thinks you did because she doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a parent.

Our town has suffered two accidents in the last two weeks. One fatal, the other not, but the girl is now in the hospital with burns over 60% of her body - she has lost both feet and one hand.......

Our small community is reeling......

We've become so used to instant communication that when we don't have it, it freaks us out.....I do this with my son all the time.

Hugs OP - rest assured the other DIS parents know EXACTLY what you're talking about !

 

[mickeyboat]

Thanks for the support. I don't want to be known as one of the dreaded helicopter parents but it is hard to not worry. When she goes back to school after Christmas break I am going to make sure that I have the cell phone numbers of her housemates. I didn't have those last night and didn't know how to get them without calling their parents. I wouldn't have a problem calling students at 2 in the morning since they stay up so late but it is another thing to wake another sleeping parent.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Also try to get numbers from some other friends, too - maybe even the landlord or property management company.

Denae

 

[KirstenB]

No you didn't overreact. She's probably telling you that you did, because she called you at 2 am!!! It sounds like her phone accidentally called you at that time, but she probably still feels a little bad.

 

[Took]

Of course you didn't overreact......your daughter thinks you did because she doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a parent.

!

Agree. I would have freaked out, too.

 

[Sonya]

From your daughter's POV, you overreacted. But as a parent you did the right thing! When I was in college I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and when we went to Canada I didn't call for 3 days. (And this is before cell phones) Mom called the police, Canadian police, highway patrol, everything. (and they didn't find us!)

I told her that I didn't have a way to call her from another country. My phone card wouldn't work.

 

[Amy&Dan]

You didn't overreact.

When your younger daughter is a mom, she'll look back on this and have a "boy I so get mom now" sort of moment. You might also tell her to mind her own beeswax and never do that to you like her big sister did! Or you'll call the police on her too by God.

Your daughter is just exhausted, totally understandable and I bet she feels good that mom loves her so much!

 

[Feralpeg]

I so relate, OP. You did not over react.

My DD is away at college. She is about 4 hours from home. She calls me every day. She has since she started college. She is now a junior.

A couple of months ago, she did not call. It was a Friday. I figured she had gone out with some friends and let it drop. On Saturday, she did not call. I tried calling and just got her phonemail. I left multiple messages. By Saturday night, I was getting pretty frantic. It was just so out of DD's pattern not to touch base with me. It isn't that I need her to call, but it is just such a habit that a change sets off alarms. Finally, on Sunday, around noon, DD called. She was so apologetic. She knew I was upset. She had decided to go to Georgia for the weekend with a friend. She didn't realize that they would not have cell service in that area. Her friend lives in a rural area. Of course, I told her that next time, she should alert me before she goes so that I won't worry.

Op, I am so glad that everything turned out okay. My heart goes out to you. It is so hard worrying about our kids.

 

[lovethecastle]

Heck no you didn't overreact. My son is only 12 & I have been thinking he should stay close by when he goes to college. There are lots of great 4 yr schools around here.
Have a great holiday

 

[Barb D]

Hey, I kept putting off calling the police when my dad didn't come home from jogging because I didn't want to over-react. I finally called, and they found him in Shock Trauma with traumatic brain injuries. You just never know. (He's fine, now, BTW.)

 

[Joanna71985]

after what happened to the girl on the news who called 911 but the police didn't come for almost 50 min I would say NO you didn't over react!

What happened?