It's just the way it's got to be....(long)

[PryncessChrysty]

I've been debating the idea of whether or not to postpone my wedding for a few weeks now, changing it from Oct. 5th, 2005 to sometime in October of 2007. I've had some health issues this past year that will take time to heal, which could inhibit how much of Disney I would be able to explore if we went in 2005. Also, I would like to cut down some of my credit card debt before we get married, which is going to take some time. So if I were to put it off, it couldn't happen before 2007.

I talked to my mom when the idea first popped into my head to get her take on it. While I was hoping to hear a resounding "No, definitely not, Honey. 2005 is when this wedding is supposed to happen!" She only confirmed my concerns. Of course this was not what I was looking for, so for every concern she rightfully confirmed, I tried to think up an alternative or excuse as to why 2005 was better.
We ended the conversation with me (the stubborn girl that I am) stating that this wedding/honeymoon was GOING to happen in 2005. Period.
A few days after the conversation with my mom, the thought of postponing it kept creeping back into my mind. I sat down, weighed the good and the bad for each and decided it was best to put it off. I talked to my DH2B and he said that I need to do whatever makes me happy, that he's willing to do it whenever I am ready. The sweetest thing was that he said one of the reasons he thought we should consider waiting is because if the castle is gold next year, he knows how disappointed I will be (I know not every one agrees). I thought that was so thoughtful, he understands how important the MK Bridal Portraits are to me.
I have been having so much fun planning everything. My mom and I are in different states and we've spent endless hours on the phone getting ideas and researching stuff online together. We were planning a mother/daughter day at the GF for spa treatments and facials, both of which I've never experienced. I was really looking forward to everything. Plus, I am very impulsive and I don't like to wait for things. As for my DH2B and I, we already live together and are practically married, so not much would change there. However, I do really want to be his Mrs., as soon as possible!

Another factor pushing me to do it sooner is that I haven't been to WDW since I was like 7 or 8. There wasn't much to see at the time being that it was 18 years ago, and I don't remember very much of it. DH2B has never been, so I've been so excited that we get to explore it all together.
I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed a place to vent a little. I know that everything I've been looking forward to is still going to happen, it's just weird seeing my counter at 1000+ days when it was less than 350 just yesterday

Luckily I live near DLR, we're going to try to get annual passes again so that we can get our Disney fix in the mean time. I think that will help a lot! Well, thanks for taking the time out to listen, if I don't cut this off now I'll ramble on forever

 

[Octoberbeauty]

2 Years is a long time to postpone a wedding. Could you not push it back 6 months to a year instead? It comes down to the age old question of is it the wedding or the marriage that's important? I know it's hard to see it when your engaged, but the wedding is only one day, your marriage is what's really important when it comes down to it. I hope I'm not offending you, because I'm really not trying to. You need to follow your heart and do what's best for both of you. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[jamie0201]

I have to agree with Octoberbeauty, but you need to follow your heart and make the choice on whats best for you and your future hubby!!! If we can be any help at all, we are here for you!!!

 

[PryncessChrysty]

Thank you, both for your kind words! I was definitely not offended, I completely understand what you're saying. 2 years does seem like a long time, but the money that I was going to use for the wedding in 2005 is what I'll need to *help* pay down my credit card debt. No 18 year old should be allowed a credit card! It's been 8 years and I'm just now figuring everything out! LOL

We were already planning an intimate ceremony and my mom and I have come up with a bunch of ways to save money on just about everything for the wedding so that we'd have a little more for the honeymoon. My DH2B and I don't travel a lot so our HM is really important to us, just without being ridiculously extravagant. If I take care of my bills first, 2007 will be just the right time for the wedding to happen. Hopefully this will also give my body adequate time to be completely rehabilited and in tip top shape for all of that walking at WDW!!

In regards to the wedding vs. the marriage, I can see where you are coming from. However, I really do want this day to be special, even though it's just one day. We pretty much already have the marriage, just unofficially. I've realized that I'm willing to wait it out to get what I want, especially since we are being quite thrifty about the whole thin. We will have a wedding that's more than I could have ever dreamed of! (Wow, that sounds hokey, but I really believe it!)

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Wow I'm really impressed at your sensibleness (LOL is that a word) which is hard to come by when one can be in "giddy" bride to be planning. I think you're making a good and wise decision and if you really want your day to be special then you need to feel right about it and you don't want to be thinking about the money on "the day of your life" - so I say yeah good on you for postponing.

But on the other side of the coin - is there anyway that you could get a little side trip down to WDW in between ? I know you're supposed to be sorting out finances and your health etc but you could look out for some of the 3/4 day deals that Disney sometimes bring out...... never say never, right

 

[Tiggerlover91]

PryncessChrysty,

I think you've made a very wise decision! Your health and your finances are a bit more important than a Disney wedding. DH and I are just 6 months away from being completely debt free and that's going to make my Disney trip in 2006 even more special! We've decided to take half of the $170 that was going to my debt consolidator and put it into a savings account.
I know how much it hurts to change plans for something that was very important to you. DH and I were supposed to go to Disney in 2003, but some very unexpected things happened and I had to push the trip up 3 years. I was heartbroken, but in the long run it has worked out so much better for us because now we are doing much better financially and our income tax refunds get a little bigger every year.
You hang in there and just know that everything is going to work out for you even better than you could imagine. I believe the Father is going to help heal your body rather nicely and financially you're going to work your way out of debt quite quickly. If you need any help with that, let me know and I'll leave you a link to the people who help pay off my creditors. No matter what anyone tells you, having a debt consolidator pay your bills DOES NOT put a bad mark on your credit...as a matter of fact, it's puts a plus on your credit because it shows your effort to pay off your debt.

Blessings to you,

Denise

 

[princess pooh]

We also postponed our wedding (until next October) for various reasons. I still haven't booked anything because we might have to postpone it again. I really have no regrets. It would be nice to be married already but we already consider ourselves a family

PryncessChrysty I think you are being very mature and wise. Figure out your health and financial issues first and then plan the wedding of your dreams . Good luck

 

[twojo21]

i have been considering the same thing (pushing my wedding back) me & h2b are still both in college he's working on his md/dr. and i'm working on my lpn. we're already like married (live together already) but i've been wondering how would i explain the postponement of my wedding to our families? we've talked so much with alot of them about some of our wedding plans. how do you explain to your family, we're postponing our wedding? especially when some might be harsh/questioning of your decision.

thanks for advice.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Originally posted by twojo21
i have been considering the same thing (pushing my wedding back) me & h2b are still both in college he's working on his md/dr. and i'm working on my lpn. we're already like married (live together already) but i've been wondering how would i explain the postponement of my wedding to our families? we've talked so much with alot of them about some of our wedding plans. how do you explain to your family, we're postponing our wedding? especially when some might be harsh/questioning of your decision.

thanks for advice.

Forgive my harshness but, who cares what anyone thinks about YOUR wedding day! If things don't fall together, then who has to carry the burden of it all. The majority of it falls on you and your DH to be. It's a decision that both of you need to weigh heavily and if you truly love each other, and I'm sure that you do, then it doesn't matter how long it takes, but you WILL get married.
I understand weddings are about families and getting together and watching a very special day in two people's lives, but in the long run, it is YOUR day and YOU need to be sure the timing is right.
I've been with my DH for 16 years, married for 13 1/2 years of those and I never got to have the wedding that every girl dreams of. It's okay, makes me sad at times, but I'll be alright. We are going to renew our vows on our 15th and that's going to be very exciting. My mother, father, and sister are all deceased now, but I know they will be there with us while DH and I renew our vows on one of our beautiful beaches here in Pensacola. (Ivan wiped most of them out, but I figure in a year and a half, they'll be up to par again! )
You do what's right for you and your DH to be. Share with your family your decision and leave it at that.
I hope I didn't sound too harsh, I didn't mean to.

Blessings,

Denise

 

[PryncessChrysty]

I can't thank you all enough for your thoughtful words and well wishes. You have really helped to make this all a bit easier.


Just don't start thinking that you'll be able to get rid of me, though. I'll still be around to get ideas, hopefully offer some of my own, and to give words of encouragement. With all of the time I have for planning now, I have NO excuses for missing out on anything when my date finally arrives!

twojo21 - I just want to say that I think it's great that you and your DH2B are getting through school, and for such admirable careers. I'm sure your families will be understanding if you decide to postpone your wedding. Granted, I wouldn't be too surprised if anyone was a little disappointed at first, but I'm sure they will not hold it against you. It sounds to me like you have very valid reasons for making this decision.
So far, I've only told my mom and eventhough she already knew I was thinking of postponing, she was still a bit bummed about it. However, she was (and is) very understanding and supportive, nonetheless. Ultimately, you have to do whatever is best for the both of you. This is YOUR day. Do what makes you happy because, in life, how many opportunities do we have to do something like this?
As we are going through similar situations, if you ever feel the need to vent or ask questions or anything, you can PM me anytime.

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Originally posted by PryncessChrysty
Just don't start thinking that you'll be able to get rid of me, though. I'll still be around to get ideas, hopefully offer some of my own, and to give words of encouragement.

I should hope so I'm glad you're gonna stick around

 

[jamie0201]

Glad to see youre going to hang around!!!

Jamie

 

[Teri Zolman]

Hang in there. Trust me going in good health is very important I had to go last year in a wheelchair and it wasn't fun. I am having to do the same this year for our vow renewal. I thought I was going to be in perfect health but I just got out of the hospital from cancer surgery and won't have the strength. Remeber that this is your and your future husbands day and you need to do what is best for the two of you. Much pixie dust going your way.