I don't want to go in vacation with my in-laws either (been there, done that) but I'm perfectly clear with them that when I want to use my limited vacation days, it's on something *I* want to do, not for someone else's vacation. I don't concoct a story about not wanting to take their money. So I see what you're saying but feel it's a totally separate issue than what the future son-in-law is communicating. He's got a real strong mindset that he will do NO activity if it is funded by other people. That's fine. I hope his future wife also feels that way. I very much enjoy vacationing with my adult children. We have a great time. I sincerely hope that when and if they are in significant relationships that they will continue to vacation with us, although it's not an expectation. If their partner doesn't want to, I can also understand that because I have felt that way. Yep, I'll be a little sad. What I would definitely struggle with is someone that "would" go on vacation but won't be cause of some very vehement pride of someone paying for the room, tickets, transportation. It just seems a little disingenuous on his part and it doesn't seem like he gives two hoots about what his fiancée might want to do. I think he should compromise slightly.