Is this too mean of a punishment?

[Aidensmom]

It sounds to me like (and I may be wrong) that it is more of an attitude or control issue for your daughter rather than her really disliking the food. If that is indeed what it is, I think your idea is fine, I am sure you would only have to do it once or twice.

My son is only 4, but this is what we do:

Ever since he was a toddler, we have had the rule that he must try two bites of each thing on his plate, and if that is all he wants, that is fine, dinner can be over. We have come to learn which things he genuinely does not like (mostly "mixed" foods like casseroles, etc), and if we are having that, we will make him a PB&J after he takes his two bites, and we let him know that ahead of time.

However, he does sometimes "pretend" to not like something he has always liked in the past. He does it just to be defiant. When he does that, he gets the "you can't have anything else unless you finish what is on your plate" routine. (This is at dinnertime though. At lunchtime, like for a lot of other posters, it is very informal and we don't usually all eat the same thing.) He has the choice to go hungry if he wants, but we don't make him something else. He rarely decides not to eat.

 

[Meezers]

I guess this is one of the many reasons I have cats and not kids! (of course the man I was married to kicked the cats...like I would have had kids with him...so now it is me and the cats!)....

Kudos to all of you who raise well mannered children! I don't know how you do it...there is no way I could....let's face it...they have more energy and could wear down General Patton....guess you really have to decide what battles are to be fought.

PS....the way I tell people your kid is okay....juvenile detention doesn't have your number on speed dial....and the 9-1-1 operators have to ask his/her personal info to enter them as a runaway!!! Makes you think differently!

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

If it were my daughter and I have two I would say this is what we are having for lunch. If you don't want to eat this than fix something yourself.

WE were allowed to make ourselves a PB&J sandwich if we didn't care for the meal prepared.

As a very picky eater i would never insist anyone eats anything. However no Mom should have to prepare separate meals or have to listen to whining.

Start teaching her to cook. Once she sees the work involved in shopping,cooking and cleaning up she may appreciate it more. DH hated leftovers until he had to cook. Now they are his favorite meal!

At 10 i cooked every third week for my family of 10. Mom did have to make rules requiring vegetables to be cooked and hamburgers only once a week. MOm worked outside the house and had a long commute so we had to pitch in.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

PS....the way I tell people your kid is okay....juvenile detention doesn't have your number on speed dial....and the 9-1-1 operators have to ask his/her personal info to enter them as a runaway!!! Makes you think differently!

 

[Ub_Iwerks]

hello eating disorder!!!!

I would not, under any circumstances, withhold food.

I don't see it as a reward if you allow hrer to make her own meal. the suggestion that she help select the menu works for me, too. and having her help prepare the meal invests her with some responsibiity for the outcome -- she's more likely to eat what you've chosen if she helped make the meal.

if you want to punish the behavior, withhold something else.

I totally agree. It's more likely to turn into an eating disorder if it IS all about control. For me, it's not worth the risk. I imagine there are other control issues that can be dealt with using logical consequences. BTW, eating disorders have been around for a long time. Jane Fonda had one in the '60s.