Is This Mean, or am I Overreacting? (Character Meet-Related)

[DiznEeyore]

So my brother and family (dw, dd 7 and ds 4) just got back from their 1st trip to Florida. They spent one day at MK. Dniece's greatest wish was to meet Ariel. Ariel has been her favorite forever; we always bring her an Ariel-related gift back from our trips.

We gave them an MK map, the UOG One-Day Touring Plan w/small kids, and a bunch of other things (they asked for tips; I didn't force-feed them ). Dniece was devastated when she found out the Grotto would be closed during their trip, but was elated when I found out about the Princess Room at ToonTown. She would get to meet her Ariel after all!!

So, according to not-so-dear brother, they arrive at the County Bounty -- he and dnephew get in line for Pooh and friends, dsil and dniece get in the princess line. Bro & dnephew zoom through the line and when they get out, the girls are still in line. At this point, they make dniece GET OUT OF LINE 'cuz they don't want to "wait around".

They then took her on Space Mountain where she cried and screamed the entire time (bro thought it was so funny *he* cried), and left the parks about 1/2 hr before Wishes.

Bro was upset w/dniece when she said she didn't have fun "'cuz I didn't get to meet Ariel and see the fireworks". I don't blame her!! Isn't taking your kids to WDW supposed to be about *them*??

Am I overreacting to think dniece's parents were weenies for making her get out of line, once she finally believed she was going to meet her favorite?

 

[danny1649]

I'm sorry little one didn't get to do the things special to her.If you go to Disney with little one's I think you should try to do things that make them happy and not make them feel lousy by acting upset because you have to invest some extra time to let them have a great time.Plus making a child do a attraction that they are scared to do,borders on child abuse, sorry that's my opinion.If you are interested in doing the things only you want to do,go by yourself.

 

[Tink561]

I think it was a very mean thing to do to anyone...especially your own child.

 

[CarolMN]

Judging only from your post, I think your brother is both mean and selfish. I also think laughing until you cry at a child who is scared is abusive.

Again, I am judging only from the info you posted.

You didn't ask for any advice so feel free to ignore mine - if you haven't already, I think you should tell your brother how you feel!

Best wishes -

P.S. Where was you SIL while all this happened?

 

[MinnieM21]

That is incredibly mean, especially to your own child. I'm so sorry you niece wasn't able to meet Ariel.

 

[MycatlovesEeyore]

From your post, sounds like your brother needed an attitude adjustment. This was a family trip so EVERYONE'S desires should have been considered.

Perhaps you could take your DNiece on one of your future trips. No way would I let her have to live with only that mempry of the MK.

JMHO

 

[snowwhitemom]

Meanie is a very good word to use in this case.......I am so sorry for your lil niece. Where was SIL.......??? Just curious I suppose, No one especially my dh would make me get out of line with lil one. Sorry it all happened.

 

[DiznEeyore]

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you all don't think I'm being silly in being annoyed about this.

CarolMN: Selfish for sure, and I guess mean in this circumstance. *sigh* I sort of knew something like this would happen, that they wouldn't "do" MK in a way that would be fun for the kids.

And my sil was right there -- I haven't talked to her so I don't know what her take is on it, but if she'd wanted to stay in line w/dniece to see Ariel, she definitely would've. She obviously didn't think it was worth the 15 minutes or whatever it would've taken to fulfill her daughter's wish.

And I told him yesterday I thought he was mean to make her leave -- I'll give him more of a hard time tonight when I see them.

Mycat .... I would love to take dniece and dnephew with us to WDW sometime. I hope we will in the future. Unfortunately, bro and sil wouldn't agree to go (they feel WDW is a waste of money) and probably wouldn't allow us to take the kids that far. Also, we are far from well-off and couldn't afford to pay for the kids' airfare and tickets.

Their grandparents live in FL, though, so my hope is that they will visit them and they will do Disney "right" with them sometime (they went this time as well, but I don't know where they were during the ToonTown incident).

 

[CHIPSTER]

And your brother lives where???---Weenieville, USA!!!!

 

[MsSpinShady]

DiznEeyore -

Of course I don't know all of the facts and so please understand that this is only my opinion, based on the situation as you described it. Maybe she was acting up and being disciplined, or your brother was exaggerating the story to get a rise out of you...since we don't know your particular family dynamics we can only generalize, so please read what I say with that in mind.

Having said that, what you described is, in my opinion, horrendous behavior for a parent and needs to be stopped. Is this the way your DB normally treats his children?

What message does that send to a small child, to be promised something, have it yanked away for no good reason, and then be ridiculed for feeling down?

In my opinion, if this is the way he normally interacts with his DD, there needs to be some intervention on your part. PLEASE try to get your DB to take a course on parenting skills. What he teaches his DD now will stay with her for the rest of her life, and parenting like that is setting her up for a lifetime of issues with self-image, poor confidence and relationships with men.

I don't mean to sound too heavy here, but that kind of treatment of a 7-year-old on a family vacation seems like a big red flag to me.

Thank you for being such a caring and concerned DA - I for one do not think you are over-reacting. My best to you and your family.

A caring and concerned MsSpinShady

 

[DiznEeyore]

Originally posted by CHIPSTER
And your brother lives where???---Weenieville, USA!!!!

LOL!!! He's the *mayor* of Weenieville!!!

MsSpinShady: Unfortunately, what I wrote is exactly how it was related to me, and it is how their family functions.

My brother isn't a bad person, but his needs and wants come above everyone else's (just ask my sil!). They love their kids, but parent very differently than dh and I do (more harshly, but not abusively by any means). Dh and I and my parents do our best to have special times with the kids and let them know how much we love them and support them. We all live near one another so that makes it easier for us to spend time with them.

I just can't get over how disappointed I am in him for this particular goof-up.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Poor girl! I'm not saying that the whole trip should only revolve around what the kids want to do, but this was a special request and should have been honored. Hopefully your brother willl have an attitude adjustment, but I wouldn't hold my breath since it sounds like this is his personality.

T&B

 

[MsSpinShady]

I'm sorry to hear that's how things operate. Please do your best to keep your DH and yourself in her life - it will help her to have a good example as she gets older and starts trying to sort things out.

My best wishes to you - you are in a tough situation!

MsSpinShady

Oh, one other thought - on the Disney website, you can order personalized phone calls from one of the princesses for only $2.49. Maybe, if your SIL would help you coordinate it, you could arrange to have Ariel give your DN a call. It would probably make her day!

 

[Tinkbell]

Yep, pretty mean. I would have never gotten out of the princess line. What was your SIL thinking?

 

[Ducky4Disney]

I think that Gifts of a Lifetime has a postcard service where you can go to their website and pick a character and they will send a postcard of that character to you (or anyone you want). See if you can get an Ariel postcard that says something like, "Sorry I missed you. Hope to see you next time, Ariel."

Heck! Give me your address and when I'm there in 5 weeks *I'll* get the postcard signed, I'll put it in an envelope and send it to you, so you can send it to her!

It was a mean spirited thing to do. It's unfortunate for her that it was ruined like that. The obviously don't get what WDW is about. Some people are allergic to Pixie Dust and don't have a favorable reaction to it.

D4D

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

I think the phone call and postcard are great ideas.

I would offer to take your niece the next time you go to WDW and make it a trip for "her".

 

[Poohs Pal]

I agree with Ducky4Disney, a post card or phone call would be a great idea. Susan

 

[DiznEeyore]

Thanks so much for the suggestions, and the kind offer D4D! Another kind DISer has PMd me and offered to do the same type of thing....leave it to folks here who "get it" to want to cheer up a disappointed little princess!!! You guys are awesome and I really appreciate it.

 

[goofy4tink]

Could you be related to friends of ours??? The dh really didn't want to be in WDW when the two families went. When we would get up and get going in the morning he would moan and groan about 'Hurry up and wait in yet another line!' He ever told us that his dd, then 8, really preferred sitting by the pool, having a cool drink with him or going to the video arcade....instead of going to the parks. The poor kid never saw the fireworks or Spectro. Or IllumiNations!!! I think your brother was way out of line. It's all about the kids, if you are in fact traveling with kids!!!

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

Heck, I wish I was planning a trip to WDW, I'd take her and stand in line with her and I don't even have kids!!!!

I have lots of postcards from the World, but none of Arial, or I would offer to mail one right out!

My first trip to WDW was when I was 3or4. I dont remember much but I do remember this. My Dad (no matter what amusement park, carnival, etc) does not like to buy tickets to play games or buy tokens to remember a trip by (says its throwing money away) nor does he like going on rides and often children need to be accompanied by an adult, so I had to skip rides. I think he likes ferris wheels, so we went on those a lot. We never went back since Dad didn't think much of WDW. They think I am weird for going twice in one year...and wanting to go back again!!!

Now I LOVE my father and he is a good man. But as a child our family of 4 did what HE wanted for vacations, he was and is still selfish about his wants and needs, Mom was better at keeping a balance. So every weekend was spent on Cape Cod in summer and Vermont in winter. No matter what.

So the good news is I am a HUGE WDW fan now and so is my husband- I'm just gonna have to make up for those lost trips.

I hope she gets another opportunity to go back and have a good time, within the next 2 years so the memory of a bad time wont stick with her.

Bless You for being a caring Aunt!