Is this annoying?

[FreshTressa]

Or am I just being sensitive?

My MIL calls me up regularly to remind me to buy certain foods for DH because he likes them. Or to let me know when they are on sale.

Half the time she has him mixed up with his brother, and it is something his brother likes or it is something he liked as a small child.

I guess I find it annoying and insulting, but I know she is doing it just cuz she cares.

Would you find this annoying?

 

[battricia]

That is EXTREMELY annoying!!! I'd probably start checking the caller ID before I answered. , though it is nice to know about the sales every once in a while, but if you get the sunday paper I'd assume you already know what's on sale.

tricia.

 

[charabby]

Yes, I'd find it annoyig, but maybe she does it b/c she's lonely and it's an excuse to talk to someone. It's also probably a way to deal with how much she might miss taking care of her boys. I'd just say, 'oh, thanks for letting me know/reminding me!" and leave it at that.

 

[FreshTressa]

That is exactly why she does it. She is always trying to take care of us.

Which is a joke, because she can't even take care of herself!

Oh well, her motives aren't evil, so I guess I just have to put up with it.

 

[ilovepcot]

I guess I find it annoying and insulting, but I know she is doing it just cuz she cares.

Would you find this annoying?


Unfortunately, I would. But I'd also find it a little sad. Could it possibly be that she feels she must have a "reason" to phone and chat with you? Why not turn the table here? Keep a list of things all of you do throughout the week and would be interested(or willing) to share with her. At a time that's convenient for you, phone her and use the list as a guide for conversation. Decide beforehand how long you're able to devote to that call. Be firm but not rude in ending the call at specified time. You don't have to offer a reason for ending the call. A mere "I have to go now" is sufficient. Do this on a regular basis and you may be surprised how things just might turn around. And by all means......tell her all the great things you found on sale for DH!!!!

 

[RUDisney]

I'll take this one step further...

My MIL used to buy us food. I guess she didn't think I'd buy any if it wasn't for her.

Then, she'd call to ask what I made for dinner. (This was after the breakfast and lunch calls.) If I was making red meat or sausage, she'd chastise me for trying to kill her son. "He has high cholesterol, you know." Well, she's the one who bought the sausage! I'd buy the chicken and fish.

She wasn't doing this out of kindness, she wanted to be in control of our lives.

We finally put an end to this... and to her 50 or so annoying calls per day. I wasn't raised to be controlled. Now, she and I only talk on holidays when my DH takes us to her house to make sure we see her (and to ruin our happy holiday. )

 

[Kallison]

Yes whether it is out of kindness or not, sounds controlling and like she doesn't want to cut the apron strings. Another one to add to my "don't act like this when you are a MIL" list. That is what my MIL is good for, she just adds to my list.

 

[thatchicktrish]

wow that does sounds annoying! You're not being overly sensitive at all, your feelings are valid. I understand she is probably calling just to have someone to talk to and because she cares but the controlling/meddling factor null and voids any thoughtful reasons she has for calling IMO. I'm the woman in this family, I know what my DH likes to eat, his mother calling to basically instruct me on how to feed her son would make me feel stupid like life as we know it would not go on without her help and drive me crazy. sorry I don't have any helpful advice though, just wanted you to know that you're not alone in thinking that is annoying and insulting. Good luck!

 

[Mercy]

Yes, I would find it annoying also. I'm not sure of the situation, but it may be just an excuse to call and talk to someone. I find the same thing with my MIL, she only has sons and my DH happens to live the closest (within a couple of minutes) and she is always calling for my DH to come down and do the most ridiculous things, changing light bulbs, etc. But I think it is just because she wants to see him. And even though it annoys me, I do understand, besides as a mother of 2 sons, I might be in the same boat one day.

 

[Disney Doll]

If this is the worst thing your MIL ever does, you will be one lucky woman!!!

 

[nealymouse]

We have had horses in our back yard for 17 years. My Auntie Jo has only lived in the garage apt for 1 year. Almost everyday she calls because she thinks the horses are cold and I should let them in the barn.

It took me a while but it finally dawned on me. My aunt cares about us. Wants us happy and knows our horses make us happy. If they get cold they will get sick and we will all be unhappy.

Maybe your MIL law is trying in her own little way to make you 2 happy by making sure you have all his happy food ??

Try to think of it as an act of kindness.

 

[Pop Daddy]

we hate her

 

[elmosmom]

As a mother we spend our lives taking care of our child. We makes their favorite meals or desserts, we buy them things they like. Suddenly someone comes along and our kid leaves home. As a mom its hard to give up those little things, its a way of being a part of our child life.

When my own MIL baked my husbands favorite cookie I resented it and now I wish I would have appreciated and enjoyed the gesture-----