Is this a new thing for baby showers?

[AKL_Megs]

My mom just called. It turns out that my 19-year-old (and this might have something to do with what I am about to say...) cousin is expecting her first baby.

We are invited to the baby shower, obviously.

On the invitation was a clever little rhyme about how many diapers a mom goes through and will need.

At the bottom, it asks that, in lieu of other gifts, you instead gift diapers in all sizes. Also in the envelope was a list of other "approved" gifts... baby wash, baby lotion, baby wipes, and diaper rash cream.

There are about 1,000,001 things that you need as a first time mom, you would think she would want and need EVERYTHING.

Is this the norm now?

 

[SandrA9810]

yeah, but diapers can be affordable for any one going. At 19, her friends probably don't have a lot of money that older adult friends would have.

I think the closer you are to the new mom would be able to provide the more expensive gifts. And as well diapers can sometimes be over looked. Seriously... your baby will only fit into newborn onsies for a short period of time... you don't need a 100 of them, because i'm sure most will have a washing machine. (And yes I do realize, they probably go through about 5 outfits a day).

 

[mtemm]

I'ver heard of similar things for second showers, but not so much for first.

I would assume a couple of things were going on...that she was having a few different showers (different people invited to different ones, of course), and this one was more of a diapers/wipes one, or that she knows someone who either gave her or lent her the bulk of what she needs. possibly someone who had a baby in the last few years that handed down crib/changing table/etc etc.

not sure.

since its a family member, are you comfortable calling the hostess and asking if she is sure that the girl doesn't need other things?

 

[handinpocket]

Just give the girl diapers. They aren't asking for anything expensive, in fact they are asking for the cheapest stuff out there.

 

[kpm76]

Humm, no I have no heard of just diapers as a gift but sounds reasonable. My only hesitation is that DD has super sensitive skin and the only diapers we can use are Pampers brand so I would not want people buying all sorts of different kinds and wasting money bu that's just my personal thought.

What is fairly common around here is to include a poem about teaching the baby to read and asking for people to bring a book instead of a card and signing the inside if the book. Super cute idea and if you got to the Dollar Store you can get some nice books for less money than a card that would be tossed in the trash. I am hosting a shower for a good friend in a few weeks and she requested board books. I have an issue with this because it's essentially dictating what you want (though I suppose no different than registeries) and board books are much pricier than other types of books. This is a small shower for just friends so I didn't make too much of it but I have to admit I am still uncomfortable having made that specific request on her behalf.....

 

[acejka]

It's becoming a popular thing in my circle of friends (for first time moms and moms with other babies), especially because they were ending up with office showers, friends showers, family showers and the baby can only wear so many new born outfits, or play with so many toys, so they were asking for diapers and wipes parties because they knew they were going to go through a ton of that stuff.

 

[SAHDad]

Diapers are a great gift, and, if you think about it, what they are suggesting is a great idea. When people are buying things for the baby, they always buy onsies, rattles, toys, cute outfits (that are worn only once or twice, and are dry clean only), and so forth. What the parents really need are diapers, wipes, burp clothes, and so forth - the stuff that gets used, a lot, but isn't as cute, or neat, or whatever, and so gets ignored.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Not the norm at all but a very clear way to say she is in desperate need of the basics. I would buy as much of the "must haves" as possible.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Okay, so this IS typical... good. Are we expected to get other things as well? I mean, will people probably gift an outfit or something WITH the diapers? We usually buy an outfit that baby would fit into at a year or so, to work with whatever season it will be when baby is that age. Will we look snooty if we do this on top of diapers?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No different that registering for a shower, I guess. I would just get diapers. Easy peasy.

Anyway when you go to see the new baby you can get her a more personal gift if you want.

 

[kpm76]

Okay, so this IS typical... good. Are we expected to get other things as well? I mean, will people probably gift an outfit or something WITH the diapers? We usually buy an outfit that baby would fit into at a year or so, to work with whatever season it will be when baby is that age. Will we look snooty if we do this on top of diapers?

I don't think it's snooty; I think it's very thoughtful. However, because the mom to be is so young and sounds like she's in desperate need of basics, maybe even a small gift card to Target or Walmart would be more practical than an outfit. People will give her clothes and plenty of them but what she might need is formula if she's not nursing, bottles etc and having a gift card would come in handy. I know you were going to buy an outfit in a few sizes up but it really is so hard to predict at what rate kids will grow. I learned my lesson the hard way. When DD was a few months old, I decided to buy her clothes for the following summer. The problem was that she was and still is on the small side so the clothes didn't fit until about Dec.....and we live in the Northeast so the little sundresses were not cutting it

 

[FoundMyPrince]

Okay, so this IS typical... good. Are we expected to get other things as well? I mean, will people probably gift an outfit or something WITH the diapers? We usually buy an outfit that baby would fit into at a year or so, to work with whatever season it will be when baby is that age. Will we look snooty if we do this on top of diapers?

I would just give a nice big box of diapers. If you want to spend a little more, buy the $25 box at Target and I'm sure she'd be thrilled. Honestly, most of the stuff that we think we "need" with babies are just extras, not necessities. However, babies do need diapers (cloth or disposable)!

And, perhaps she's already getting the swing, bouncy seat, etc., from another shower, from a second hand store, from the immediate family and doesn't want to receive duplicates.

I would not give an outfit, too.

 

[minkydog]

Okay, so this IS typical... good. Are we expected to get other things as well? I mean, will people probably gift an outfit or something WITH the diapers? We usually buy an outfit that baby would fit into at a year or so, to work with whatever season it will be when baby is that age. Will we look snooty if we do this on top of diapers?

When I was pregnant with #3 my friends decided to throw me an "un-shower", a get-together with friends where we could eat little sandwiches and trade war stories.I really didn't need any blankets, washclothes, baby bath, or spoons. Some people brought diapers or wipes, some brought clothes, and some just brought snacks. The best gifts were the 6-12 month clothes and the cloth diapers with diaper pins and rubber pants. They didn't know that I was going to use cloth diapers, but cloth diapers are always a good backup plan when you run out of Pampers in the middle of the night. Plus, they make great burp clothes.

I usually bring a small early reader book,the kind with the fat cardboard pages, and some other thing. For a first time mom, you just about can't go wrong. They need pretty much everything. With my first one several friends approached me about buying me a stroller. I showed them what I wanted and about 10 of them went in together on it. Just what I wanted!

 

[S. C.]

I'm wondering if she has a friend that has tons of extra clothes etc for a baby and is giving/loaning her those things.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I'm wondering if she has a friend that has tons of extra clothes etc for a baby and is giving/loaning her those things.

You know what, I am so stupid... her sister DOES have two young sons... although I don't know that she saved anything after he youngest son. Perhaps she is getting most clothes from her sis.

 

[Christine]

I don't know if it's typical but it makes good sense.

My cousin recently had a baby and we attended the shower. They are young. Very young. Many young adults were also invited. It seemed that the common gift was baby clothes. Everyone knew it would be a boy and, no lie, this baby got about 50 outfits and that was about it. Instead of being practical, everyone went out and bought a cute outfit because that's all they could afford.

So, if they know that most people attending the shower are young and don't have a lot of money, they may very well buy a $12 outfit at Target versus something sensible like a pack of diapers.

 

[southtexasmom]

If they asked for diapers, that is exactly what I would give. If you still want to give a outfit, wait until the baby is born and take it when you meet the baby the first time.

 

[bumbershoot]

There are about 1,000,001 things that you need as a first time mom, you would think she would want and need EVERYTHING.

Really?

I needed the cloth dipes (gifted), a carseat (bought ourselves), the one babygear I wanted was the fisher price baby papasan (got as a gift), and then I needed a whole lotta onesies (which we bought, and we were gifted a few, and half of those I went to exchange for a 6 month size since I had so many tiny sizes already). That's pretty much all I needed! (though the papasan was NOT a need)

Did get the little nail kit, but ultimately just bit his nails off for the first year, after drawing blood once or twice with the clippers.



Anyway, she sounds very reasonable! I'd run with it!

 

[AKL_Megs]

Really?

Should said "need"... although I know there are 1,000,001 things I would WANT! But true, all baby really NEEDS is formula and somewhere do do his duty!

 

[Nancyg56]

Okay, so this IS typical... good. Are we expected to get other things as well? I mean, will people probably gift an outfit or something WITH the diapers? We usually buy an outfit that baby would fit into at a year or so, to work with whatever season it will be when baby is that age. Will we look snooty if we do this on top of diapers?

No, you would not look snooty. I would make sure that I got the diapers though. as others have suggested the new Mom wants them. My DD always buys a "care basket" instead of teh outfits etc. She finds out what products the new Mom wants and fills a basket with them, She always include baby Tylenol and Baby Motrin, diaper creams, baby wash and lotion, Mylecon, wipes and diapers. Her gift may not be cute but it is always appreciated.