Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed???

[DoeWDW]

I admit that I have a good life - a wonderful husband, 2 great teens, my irrepressible dachshund, a home, a fulltime job, etc.

I just feel overwhelmed with all the little details of daily life. I am fairly intelligent and I can see how to improve each area but when I look at the big picture I realize that there's no way I can do it all.

I'd like to eat healthier, exercise on a regular basis, keep my home clean and inviting, have one on one time with my DH, DD & DS on a regular basis, keep up with laundry, handle routine appointments (doctor, dentist, car maintenance, vet, etc.), do better with my finances, etc. etc.

I look at each area and know what needs to be done, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Is anyone else feeling this way? Has anyone felt this way in the past and found a way to feel better?

 

[septbride2002]

Big Hugs to you my friend! Know you can PM me anytime.
~Amanda

 

[Christine]

Doreen,
I think you know that *I* feel this way. I think a full-time job just doesn't work with all the responsibility we have.

Right now, I am feeling particularly frustrated because my household is chaotic. There have been two incidences where my son has just laid something down for a second and we just cannot find it. One is a school library book (I saw it IN his hand last night and it is just gone) and a rosary book that some lent me. While my house is clean, there is just STUFF all over the place from the kids. Some days it just drives me berserk and today is one of them.

I feel like I am juggling so many things and not doing it well at all and sometimes it really gets me down. I can't give enough attention to my financial investments either. I just don't have the time.

This morning I have spent 2 hours at "work" getting my health records together to submit a claim. It's just a nightmare.

 

[lucky978]

I think most of us moms feel the same way. There are just too many jobs to be done in a day. I feel the same way most of the time, too. My girls are only 7 so they need alot more attention!

My only advise is to just do what is important. Spending time with family is much more important than doing the dishes... The dishes will be there the next day when there may be a few more minutes. Once you get things to a certain point, keep up with the chores. Do a little every day and they won't seem too overwhelming once they get out of control. I find that with the bills/finances. If I pay a bill when it comes in instead of waiting for them to all pile up, you won't get that feeling of "Oh My God it's going to take me 2 hrs. to pay all those"....

Hope you're feeling better soon. Just the comfort of knowing most of us (at least me) are in the same situation.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You do have a lot on your plate! Have you looked at www.Flylady.net ? That might be some inspiration and motivation.

I'm a SAHM of 4 kids. Things should be easy now since my youngest just started all day kindergarten, but there are days that I still feel overwhelmed. A lot of it is more of an emotional overload--dealing with the schedules and attitudes of my children who are all at very different stages. The schedules I can handle usually, but I have a couple of difficult children, a 15yo son who needs a firecracker in his rear end to get him doing what he needs to do and a VERY mouthy, draining 5yo who will argue with a brick wall. Sometimes I feel that I'm up to my eyeballs dealing with the 2 of them.

Take a look at Flylady if you haven't before. There are sections of that site that are geared towards working moms.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yep...And I don't work full time! I am a SAHM.

I think that at times frustration builds up and we need to recharge our batteries as women. We need healthy outlets.

I am so with you on the exercise part and eating healthier. I was doing well before I moved. I keep saying everyday I am going to do better and feeling awful because I fall short of my ideas.

I have a household notebook that I need to get back too. It really did help me.

I want to join this gym near me but I am waiting. DH and I are going to join together. He is on day 2 of quitting smoking, but sssshhhhh!, we haven't told anyone, because this is the first time he has ever done it. I quit 2 years ago.

I am trying, I just get overwhelmed too!

 

[goofyforlife]

I'd like to eat healthier, exercise on a regular basis, keep my home clean and inviting, have one on one time with my DH, DD & DS on a regular basis, keep up with laundry, handle routine appointments (doctor, dentist, car maintenance, vet, etc.), do better with my finances, etc. etc.

I look at each area and know what needs to be done, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Is anyone else feeling this way? Has anyone felt this way in the past and found a way to feel better?

First you are soooooooo not alone....

Most of my life right now is a juggle...(do I go to gym after work or clean up house or spend more time with (insert DH, DD, or D ? )

My mantra for now is one day at a time....If the dishes are still in the sink at the end of the day...so be it....If there's dust on the furniture...it'll still be there when I get to it.....

Laundry is kinda the same way...(we wash a couple days worth during the week to get us by but honestly I really need to take 2-3 days off from work to get it all caught up..) Glad my basement/laundry room has a door...

Eating better...Well, lately I consider it an accomplishment if the food is at least cooked at home and includes a vegetable... (Fast food becomes way to easy sometimes.)

I guess pick one thing each week to accomplish and then the tasks won't be so bad.... (ok, like I'll wash "x" loads this week and get them put away)
But leave time for yourself too....

And yes I believe we need a new time system too...

 

[grlpwrd]

I'm there right with you. I am overwhelmed, but I try to plan. I agree with using Flylady - I just use a derivative of her system.

We have 5 kids (the youngest being a baby), hubby works in Baltimore and commutes home on weekends, have a huge house that we live in yet it's a bear to clean and maintain, I am a Girl Scout leader, have a new lawn and I have to tend to all landscaping duties, and I sell on ebay.

I just plan my time as much as I can. I have a calendar/organizer I bought from Target called Go Mom. I keep track of all important dates plus I right down what I have to do on sticky notes. If it's not completed that day I just stick it on the next day or whatever. That way I know it eventually gets done. I actually plan my workouts or else I will forget. lol

I plan pockets of time to be more efficient - if there is such a thing. I do my reading when kids are in school or while they take their martial arts classes. I do more online banking now which helps with bill payments.

For me I am satisfied just being able to see the carpet, we have clean laundry and dishes, and eat a homecooked meal.

Hang in there!

 

[mudnuri]

One thing that really helps me is a master calendar. It sounds so simple, but it really does help

We actually have more than 1, I have the moms planner on the fridge- with EVERYTHING on it thats scheduled from here to 18 months from now. Then there is a white board monthly calendar that we redo each month with whats on the moms planner.

I live my life by routines. Sometimes thats not a good thing,but for the most part it keeps my life in order (or semi-order).

I dont work full time, but I am in school, so that adds to the chaos. I actually had to sit down and schedule what studying is being done when. Without seeing it on paper, and having it set, i just kept doing something else. Of course dising doesn't help.

I try to keep the same routine the same each day. Monday's schedule looks pretty darn close to any other Monday. I also try to clean up the house for about 20 minute each night, even if its just swiffering the 1600 sq feet of hardwood floors...the little things add up.

I found that putting things off- like a previous poster, paying bills all at once, took way more time and felt so overwhelming than paying them as they came in. Same thing with housework. Putting it off then spend hours on Sunday really bothered me, but doing a bit here and there throughout the week makes it seem like less.

It certainly can be overwhelming just being a mom, add to that being wife, and working outside of the house, and being "you" and your going to be on overload most of the time....being a woman sucks!

Brandy

 

[bajanswife]

Yep! My kids are all young (aged 2 to 5) and I work about a 3/4 day. I find my brain is mush, I cannot keep anything in it! I have thought of a master planner, but it's almost too overwhelming to find the right one and set it up, and then remember to both enter things in it and then check it frequently!

I do have household help - if I didn't the house would be a pigsty. Instead, it's just messy and cluttered, but reasonably clean in the uncluttered areas at least!

I do have a nanny on weekdays, but the 2 year old keeps her plenty busy, and she's just like me - housekeeping-challenged! But she's wonderful with the kids - she'll play any kind of game with them, do arts and crafts etc. She's a good balance for my lack of creativity.

I need to exercise, but 5.30 a.m. is the only available time that I can leave the house. The sun is just up then, but it's sooooo hard to get out of bed!

We do prepare almost all of our meals at home - lack of good takeout/delivery. Not much time saving can be done there, as we don't like highly processed food anyway, so don't do many frozen meals. Luckily one of our part-time helpers does some cooking and veggie preparation for us.

At work I am terrified of making huge mistakes because of my lack of concentration. I find it hard to see large projects through. So far my boss and clients have mostly not caught on, but one day I expect they will. I wish my brain were not so full of everything else - wish it had more space for my paying work!

I'd love to one day do a simple half day job that didn't involve many clients/jobs - something I could do practically in my sleep LOL. But then it wouldn't pay enough to keep on top of the current mortgage and savings plan, and I'd no doubt get bored of it. The school fund raising fair is coming up, and I wish I could help more - but it just isn't possible!

Sometimes I yearn for the days when I could sleep in on weekends, eat a leisurely breakfast, read a little, go for a swim at the beach, come home and laze around etc. Life has gotten so complicated!

 

[disneygals]

I understand how you feel! No answers, but at least we're not alone.

 

[Buckalew11]

Everyday, Doreen, everyday.

Honestly, I know I have ADD. I am not someone who likes labels and all but I have always struggled with focus. Nothing ever seems to get completely done at my house. It really depresses me that I'm like this. I have started playing tennis again and i really don't have time to but I am making time because my mom signed me up (LOL) and said "Do this for yourself. You need to." So, I am AND I am enjoying it!

But I work (run a business from home so there is paperwork involved that bogs me down) and am a mom and just am not a good time manager or something...

I need to get off the CB now. I have 202 things to do! LOL

 

[DoeWDW]

Thank you for all the honest and touching replies. At least I have company on this journey.

I have tried Flylady in the past and, like all systems, it works great when I keep up with it. But I feel like I can only take on one improvement area at a time, so if I start Flying again, I can kiss my exercise, healthy eating, finance, etc. plans goodbye for a month.

Maybe I should make up a big spinning wheel (like on Wheel of Fortune). Each section would be an area for improvement - exercise, healthy eating, finances, cleaning, etc. Then in the morning I could just spin the wheel and work on that one area for the day.

 

[goofyforlife]

Maybe I should make up a big spinning wheel (like on Wheel of Fortune).

ooooh I like that idea....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

With Flylady I think it's important to decide what works for you and what doesn't. Through thick and thin, what works for me and I try to keep with is the whole "you can do anything for 15 minutes" idea. It has helped me more than anything has ever helped me as far as motivation around the house. I constantly use my timer. It's set now and I have 4 minutes left before I get back to work.

 

[Saphire]

Doreen, have you ever thought about working part-time? I think it really is having the best of both worlds. It opens up time to do what you want to do, as well as what you must do. I always enjoyed volunteering in the community, at church and school. I love to cook, and love a clean house. I love being home when my kids get home. Part time has allowed me to do all this. I do have to be more careful with money...no takeout, no coffee at dunkin donuts (real big around here), menu plannng with coupons, shop sales, etc, but I know the benefits I gain outweigh those extra dollars. Most of all, I don't have that overwhelmed feeling of being rushed and feeling behind in ever area of my life. I hope it is something you can consider for your family. Best wishes.

 

[justjulie]

You are not alone. I'm a working mom with two children and a husband. I'm up at 5:30 a.m. to start my day - I commute 1.5 - 2 hour per day (each way), don't get back into the house until 6:00 p.m. and wear many hats. I feel like I no sooner take of my "working girl" hat and then I put on my "household" hat which includes everything from organizer to cook, taxi service, mommy and wife ... yikes!

It does get overwhelming and it's easier said than done to take time for yourself (yeah, right). As much as my family attempts to help some things are just easier for me to do so I try to balance it all somehow.

If anyone has any tips pass them along - surely we can use them!

Dinner time is a real scramble for me - after I get off the train I need to pick up my son from daycare then start dinner. While I'm making dinner I need to check for homework, sign the agenda, check their sports schedule and somehow make all that work. I tried making supper for the freezer but that meant spending all weekend (the only "me" time (again, yeah, right) and I resented it so that didn't help.

Little things do help though. For example, I brown all my ground beef before I put it in the freezer. I use a separate container for each pound which cuts down the time needed to make Hamburger Helper (trust me, it's helped me on more than one occasion), tacos, spaghetti sauce or Sloppy Joes and I've started using my crock pot again.

Even things like throwing the laundy in the washing machine (but not turning the machine on) before I leave for works saves time at night - then all I have to do when I walk in is pull the on button and it can run while I'm doing something else.

Laundry, apparently, is my life - not that I chose it. I found that three separate bins in the closet helps too - whites, colours, towels (towels are my favourite load - easy folding and no matching required). When the basket's full, down it goes the laundry.

I agree with the whiteboard idea - we have one on our fridge and I would be lost without it. I actually gave everyone a different colour so I can look at it in a glance and know someone has something that night ....

I've gone on long enough - anyone else able to save me with some helpful hints?

 

[aprincessmom]

but when I look at the big picture I realize that there's no way I can do it all.

I think that's the key...realizing you can't do it all. I'm a single mom, working full-time and maintaining the house (from food shopping to housecleaning to laundry to scheduling yearly maintenance), being the sole care giver for DD, and trying to keep up maintenance on myself. Something has to give. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's the house, and sometimes it's work.

I felt overwhelmed all the time when DD was a baby, trying to do it all and, as a result, doing nothing well. I found that if I forgave myself for not being perfect I was able to handle things much better. I made a list of things that needed to be done -- things that, if they didn't get done would be a bigger issue down the line -- and just make sure I get those things done. It was pretty freeing. The best part is you can re-arrange it or re-prioritize it depending on you needs at the time. It's fluid and it's helpful.

Honestly, I think it is pretty common for women to feel this way. Society expects a great deal from us but we expect even more from ourselves. Learning to accept your own limitations does a great deal for alleviating that sense of overwhelming responsibilities and goals.

{{{Hugs}}} to you

 

[Bob Slydell]

The past couple days, yep. With DW in NYC until Wed., I'm single Dad, so it's a bit tiring. Worth it, but tiring, nonetheless.

 

[chrissyk]

My 2 non-negotiables are housecleaning and finances. I don't stress out about getting everything else done. I'm absolutely anal about staying on top of the finances, investments, insurance, bills, credit reports, etc. Believe me, that has paid off 100 times over. This gets done if nothing else does. Auto bill-pay is a lifesaver, because that's one less thing to stay on top of. I just enter the bills into Quicken as they get emailed to me monthly, and that's it.

Housecleaning is a non-negotiable for me because I grew up in a dirty house. I refuse to live in a dirty house now, and I don't want to get into bad housecleaning habits for when we do have kids. My biggest non-negotiables are that no dishes are ever left in the sink and that the bathrooms are kept sparkling clean. It doesn't really take that much time! I also don't like to get behind on laundry, I like the floors to be very clean, etc.