Is all this complaining normal??

[heidica]

So, my DD is 12 (well really she is my DSD but that is another story) - anyway I have noticed in both her and her friends that they complain about everything (or at least it seems like everything). Of course they complain about the big stuff - like school, having to eat healthy, going to the dentist, etc. But it seems like every chance they get they complain - if she has trouble getting her shoes on she complains about her "stupid shoes", the cable goes out for a few seconds (as it is known to do) she complains, complains about the food at school, complains if she can't reach a friend and so on. It's not like she is angry, she just complains. It seems like she complains all the time and I don't hear many positive things coming out of her mouth.

Do the rest of you find this true with your pre-teen/teenager? Or is my pre-teen ultra negative?

 

[monarchsfan16]

That's perfectly normal. My sister is 16 and we're still going through that with her. I went through it too, and so did all of my friends.

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

Relax. Annoying, irritating, obnoxious....yet perfectly normal.

I have ds 14 and ds 13. I have 137 12/13 year old students. As painful as it seems, they are going through a "stage." I think it's like childbirth, once you go through it, you forget how painful it was. All this too shall pass.

Just bought both boys jackets yesterday. ds14 loved it (this time last year would have thrown it at me). ds13 looked at it and growled. We took him with us for the return today. He picked out the last jacket in the store I thought he would ever buy. Gotta love them.

Whatever is said and whatever is done, try not to take it personally (yeah right). Remember they will get through this hormone crisis, just in time to borrow the car keys. Life's a series of stages and parents are but, the butt of all the jokes.

 

[CEDmom]

My 7 yo has days when all she does is complain. Kids can be very self-absorbed so it's not a surprise that they expect everything to revolve around them.

 

[Samandmom]

Are you sure this post is not about my 3.5yr old DD?

 

[disneysnowflake]

Heck, I know people in their 40s who haven't grown out of the complaining phase yet.

My boys aren't too bad, but my nieces nitpick about everything.

 

[dmslush]

Yes it is normal! dd15 complains from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed. I'm sure if something were really wrong, I wouldn't know it though because I tune her out LOL

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Another Jr High teacher with a DS13. They really do tend to be bothered by "little" things. I think they are just going through so much that any thing that does not go the way it is suppose to, the first time, is just too much for them. Remember that there are many things that toddlers and teens have in common. They are both learning to do things on their own that Mom and Dad have done for them. Their bodies are changing really fast and the world around them is very different and pretty scarey. Try to get her to laugh at herself a little and reassure her that all will be ok. A glass of wine for Mom can help too!

 

[pigletz]

Definately normal. I don't have kids but I've been teaching middle school for 10 years. They complain about everything. I've learned to kind of block it though. If I addressed every single complaint, I would never get anything done. It's funny though, my friends that have moved up to the high school have said that the complaining usually goes away by tenth grade. That's the one thing they say they don't miss about middle school. Some days I think my head will explode if I hear one more: "How come he got a blue pencil and I got red. I want a blue one." or "How come (insert any other school district) doesn't have school today but we do?" Combine those with "He/She's staring at me" and "He stole my pencil" and somedays I feel like I'm teaching kindergarten. I still love them though.

 

[Hedy]

The good news: it's normal.

 

[heidica]

Well, glad to hear that it really is normal and there is hope that it settles down and becomes more realistic as they get older. I have totally been tuning it out because it is just so negative and brings everything down. Well, I will just have to survive.

 

[Froggyswife]

So, my DD is 12 (well really she is my DSD but that is another story) - anyway I have noticed in both her and her friends that they complain about everything (or at least it seems like everything). Of course they complain about the big stuff - like school, having to eat healthy, going to the dentist, etc. But it seems like every chance they get they complain - if she has trouble getting her shoes on she complains about her "stupid shoes", the cable goes out for a few seconds (as it is known to do) she complains, complains about the food at school, complains if she can't reach a friend and so on. It's not like she is angry, she just complains. It seems like she complains all the time and I don't hear many positive things coming out of her mouth.

Do the rest of you find this true with your pre-teen/teenager? Or is my pre-teen ultra negative?

Yes it is normal take it from a woman who has raised 4 girls and still has the 5th at home and is 14. THEY COMPLAIN! about everything and nothing.

I usually destress from their complaining by letting calgon take me away. It will get better but it will probably get worse first.

All I can tell you is hang in there. Cherish those few seconds a day that they almost act like that sweet little girl they were in first grade.