Intimate/Escape/Small Wedding Questions: Do you regret it?

[Rora]

Hey all. My DF and I just got engaged at the begining of this month. You might've seen my other post about us being young and not having much money. We finally decided we'd like to have a small wedding or possibly book an Escape Wedding through Disney. As much as I like the idea of a small wedding, does anyone who's had one regret that you didn't get to share it with more people? Do you feel like you spent a lot of money for only 50 people or (20 if we go Disney)? Any accounts of smaller weddings and how to determine what long lost family memebers to invite would be SO appreciate. Thank you so much!!

 

[TinkerFairy]

A lot of escape brides do at home receptions for the family and friends that don't come to Disney.

We're doing a 200 person reception on Nov. 2 after we get home.

Some girls hav done bbq's, others formal receptions with a hall ect.

For the 17 people we'll have at our wedding on Wensday, I don't feel like we overpaid at all.
We didn't do a lot of add-ons, and styed well under what I had budgeted.

We wanted a small wedding with close family only, and then the party back home. It all depends on what you and your DF really want.

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

I haven't actually had my wedding yet, but I knew right from the begining I wanted a small wedding. The smaller the better. The least number of people I could get away with. It was actually harder to convince DF. I just don't see any reason to plan a big production for people were not that close to. Our immediate families are coming, but neither of us are super close with our aunts, uncles or cousins. And we've invited our closest friends. I just didn't want the same cookie cutter hall wedding that we've been to a dozen times in the past ten years, where you don't remember anything other than it's nearly the same hall the last wedding you were at was held in. I have no problem spending less money on a disney (escape) wedding for a much more unique experience. I know I'll never regret my decision. And besides, FMIL is springing for a huge at home bbq style party next summer (but she get's to worry about, plan and pay for it, not me )

 

[Tiggerific04]

I don't regret it at all. I never wanted a big wedding and I hate being the center of attention, so I only wanted our immediate families there. We just didn't have the money to pay for a big wedding and Disney worked out perfectly for us. I feel like we definitely got our money's worth and I would do it again in a heartbeat. No regrets here!

 

[WineGalTina]

I don't regret it at all. I never wanted a big wedding and I hate being the center of attention, so I only wanted our immediate families there. We just didn't have the money to pay for a big wedding and Disney worked out perfectly for us. I feel like we definitely got our money's worth and I would do it again in a heartbeat. No regrets here!

Completely off topic but I just noticed that you had the same dress I am planning on getting except I am getting the color in deep wine red. Did you like it?

 

[Rora]

I knew I could rely on my fellow DISers! I hadn't even considered doing something for friends/more distant family once we're done w/ our smaller wedding. What a great idea!! Would you suggest picnic/bbq,etc after or before the honeymoon? I'm pretty sure we'll be doing the 7day Disney Cruise.. give or take a couple of days if DF can get off work. Any more ideas/tips etc would be appreciated!

 

[D&R love Disney]

We loved the small intimate wedding, we had only 9 guests. We did throw a big party at a hall 2 months after our Disney wedding. It was great and everyone got to come and I even wore my dress so guests could see me in it.

 

[Swmhc]

We didn't do an at home reception, but I know a lot of couples have waited a couple months until they get their videos and photos back and then display and share them at the at home reception. Just an idea.

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Hi DH and I had to decide on a huge wedding or an intimate/ escape wedding. First off I never wanted a huge wedding, and after talking to my mom, and with her telling me that she wanted 200 plus invitations to go out for our wedding, which was only her side of the family. I nearly died. I talked to DH about it and his family (dad and step mom, mom, and his married sister) all wanted lots of invitations, I knew I could not handle the crowd nor the mix- all different cultures, and DH and I both felt a bit overwhelmed by our families' requests. I was worried about the drinking as both of our families do not do well with alcohol ( they get a little out of control).

We decided to go intimate, as we feel that our vows should be between us and the people closest to us. It was the best time, along with one of the happiest days of my life. Plus I didn't have to worry about meeting long lost family members for the first time. If I had to do it over again I would go intimate all the way.

 

[ForKeeps]

Like many others who posted I simply didn't want a big, chaotic, stressful affair. An intimate wedding was perfect. It was easy to plan, I had everyone there who was important to me, and we got to have an amazing day with all the trimmings and not an average affair back home.

I've never regretted it for an instance and in fact it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Instead of doing a formal reception back home we had a wedding tour -- a series of backyard BBQs where we went to our friends and family in different cities across Ontario. You can read about it in my TR (in my signature)

GL!

 

[purplegirl247]

No regrets here either. And we just had family, no friends (which was a sore spot for some of them, but in the end it all worked out). We were (and still are!) saving for a house, so the idea of spending several additional thousand for a wedding wouldn't work for us. Plus, I am always uncomfortable at large weddings where you only get to see the bride and groom for 30 seconds during the receiving line or when they drop by your table for the obligatory mingle.

GL with your decision!

 

[JandJ]

Our Intimate wedding was perfect - no regrets at all! I knew I wanted Disney and DH wanted small. We both wanted only the people we loved the most to witness one of the most special times of our lives - when we said our vows to each other We had one attendant (my niece was MOH) and 8 guests (my daddy, Godmother, sister, brother and SIL, DH's parents and my BFF who introduced me to DH and is like a sister to me). It really was a perfectly magical day!

I could not have handled a big wedding. I've been to many "traditional" weddings with 100-200 guests, the sit-down meal, the DJ, the toasts, the dancing - it's great as a guest but I never wanted all that for myself. And neither of us wanted to drop $$ tens of thousands on one day. The idea of folks who we don't really like but have to invite out of obligation coming to our wedding and witnessing our vows really bugged me.

We didn't end up having an at-home reception because my mom passed away unexpectedly just 4 months before our wedding. We originally planned one, but that was stressing me out! Mom's guest list for just our side was up to 132 people! The hall we originally rented was gorgeous and I know it would have been nice, but it was too much work and stress for me and without mom I wasn't going to do that.

As for cost to what you get ratio. We could have done the same thing for a lot less at a local hotel, but I always wanted to get married at Disney so it wasn't even a question

Best Wishes for your wedding whatever you decide!

 

[shaun&miranda]

We had 21 people at our Disney Wedding, and then a great big party for 125 people a month after the wedding at home, where we showed our photos and our sneak-peek video.

I can honestly say it is the best decision we could have made!

Neither of us are shrinking violets - I love being the centre of attention!

Instead, we both felt very strongly that we wanted our marriage ceremony to be something we shared with the people we loved most in the world, and felt closest to. We didn't want to be spending time on our wedding day with relatives that we barely recognised!

Our wedding day was perfect. Having such a small number of guests meant we could all eat at one long table and still all talk to each other. It was still formal, but not stuffy, and Shaun and I could be ourselves - we didn't have to worry about people going off in a grump, or not enjoying themselves.

I would recommend drawing up a list of people who you feel you really wouldn't want to get married without them being there. (For me the bottom line was my mum, dad and brother - without them it was too small for me!) But then there were people I REALLY wanted, and then people it would be great if they came, then people I would ideally like to come. It just helped me be clear in my own mind who was important to me.

Good luck - and remember that you can change your mind if you get it wrong. You'll know soon enough if your choice wasn't right for you as you will want to change it!

Miranda

 

[beckyb29]

I did not have one regret about our small, Intimate wedding. It was great for us to spend the day with our closest family members-they are the ones who really count. With less people, we were more able to concentrate on eachother, and not 100 people that are "distant" relatives.

As for the amount of money for only 8 guests, it was worth it to us to be married in the Happiest Place on Earth! I wouldn't have had it any other way!

 

[iheartmypanda]

I haven't read your other post but I think I'm in the same shoes!
MY FH and I are young (he's 25, I'm 21) and students, etc. so we don't have much money either!

I started to plan a big wedding, I was the typical young princess bride. But it didn't take very long at all for the whole thing to get super stressfull. It didn't take a lot of shopping around for me to almost faint of sticker shock. I can tell you what I didn't want, a cheapo wedding.

So then I though long and hard. I decided I didn't want the stress. I wanted someone else to take care of details for me. I didn't want to spend all the money. And I've grown up all over so I knew no matter what not everyone who I would want there could be there.
I knew I really wanted a disney wedding and the escape package is perfect for us. It's very reasonably priced for what you get (weddings are so expensive!) and it's very magical and special.

I have no doubts that I will NOT regret my descision. People come and go out of your life. 10 years down the road, your priorities will be different such as kids or a house and you might kick yourself in the rear for having a big wedding and worrying about what people you don't even talk to anymore thought about how much you spent on centerpieces. That's just life. It changes.

Sure a wedding might seem like the most important day of your life right now but that might change too, like the day you become a mom might feel more imortant.

So focus on you and what you really want and focus on your FH. All you'll care about when the special day comes in that HE is there!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

II have no doubts that I will NOT regret my descision. People come and go out of your life. 10 years down the road, your priorities will be different such as kids or a house and you might kick yourself in the rear for having a big wedding and worrying about what people you don't even talk to anymore thought about how much you spent on centerpieces. That's just life. It changes.


So focus on you and what you really want and focus on your FH. All you'll care about when the special day comes in that HE is there!

+1 You articulated exactly how I feel and think!

 

[padisneyfour]

I am older than most of the brides, because we are planning our 20th anniversary VR at disney but you all are correct about life and the changes that we happen in years to come. The most important part of your day is what you and your fH want, so plan for the two of you and enjoy your day because even though time does change things you will always remember your wedding and that is the key- your wedding.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i think the dcl weddings sound ideal. i really wanted to do that before i started planning my wishes wedding, but we wouldnt be able to even invite our immediate families since you can only have 20 people! i'm hoping to go on a disney cruise sometime soon though! good luck! congratulations!

 

[Ticky Toria 78]

No regrets.....we had a small wedding and it was perfect, we only had 5 guests. It was such a lovely day, and a big wedding just wasn't what we wanted. We had a party for friends and family that didn't attend when we came home. We played a copy of the video and photos on dvd e.t.c. Do what makes you both happy, don't feel pushed to go down the route of a big wedding if this isn't what you want. Happy planning