Inspired by Baby Shower Thread...What do you think of this......

[Nutsy]

DH's eldest niece is turning 40 on 25th January & an invitation arrived in the mail the other day..........

Invited are DH & myself (not our children) to a Dance Party & are asked to bring a plate of food for supper as well as a birthday gift.

I feel it's rude not to include the boys in the invitation, but then with this family it usual for them not to, well not our kids anyway.

A few years ago SIL turned 60 & her kids were throwing her a Surprise party..........once again invite to DH & myslef......no kids.

I queried it & was told that it was strictly no kids at the party.....so I had to find someone to leave the boys with............when we get to the party we discover that there are indeed kids there.............the granchildren of SIL. When SIL asked where our kids were, I told her what I was told...........NO KIDS.

Then when DH's younger niece got engaged the party was to be a BBQ........but it was bring your own meat & roll & present of course.

I think that is rather rude, one for not including the boys (they are first cousins of this niece) they are also teenagers 14 & 15, then the bring a plate of food bit, really got me.

Needless to say DH & I will not be attending..........we are so tried of our boys not being included in family gatherings.

Am I being too sensitive about this?

 

[floridaminnie]

No not too sensitive at all. I could understand if their friends with no kids, but this is family you are talking about! Plus you need to bring food and a present. Do they always do pot luck?!?!?

 

[cinmell]

You are not being too sensitive at all about your children! And I've never heard of being invited to a BBQ aka an engagement party, and being asked to bring your own meat and roll!!!

 

[Nutsy]

This is typical of DH family..................bring food & a present all the time...................

If it were a friends party & they just invited DH & myslef I'd have no problem with it, but what hurts the most is that the boys are not & never are included in any invitations.............

As a result we rarely attend their functions.......we are family & this is DH's brothers family & they are the only two in the family.

 

[CEDmom]

I can understand someone not wanting to include children no matter how old at a party. However, that should then mean nobody's kids not just selective ones. I think I'd be more upset about having to bring food and a gift to these things. I don't have a problem with potluck or a variation of it. This can be fun for a 4th of July barbeque. However, if it's an event where a gift is expected than I expect refreshments to be provided.

 

[CamColt]

If theres no kids, then I understand that, but if yours werent invited and other kids were there, then Id be ticked.

That actually happened to us...at my BIL's wedding! The grooms nephews werent invited, but other kids were. Then to boot, MIL looked at another kid then said to me "Thank God theyre not here", meaning my kids.

 

[luvmydogs]

I have no problem with a "no kids" get together, but that should mean *everyone's* children. What they did seems hurtful and rude, and I would've been offended, too.

 

[browneyes]

I think your dh's niece is a putz.

 

[browneyes]

I think your dh's niece is a putz.

 

[Nutsy]

Well said Shannon

 

[browneyes]

Thanks, Nutsy. Sorry I had to say it twice. I guess I'm back to double posting again.

 

[Nutsy]

Doesn't bother me one bit Shannon.................we are not a close family anyway..........haven't seen this niece for what must be close on 12 months.

 

[sue1013]

I don't see anything wrong in not inviting kids to some events. But agree it should be NO kids not selective. But where does this family get the idea you bring your own food and a gift?? My DH has some real winners in his family they have been known to show up at showers and weddings with uninvited kids and say "Well they wanted to come". Who cares they were not invited. I'm not talking about a home shower or wedding where besides being rude its really not that big a deal. When you have an event at a restaurant, it messes up the count you've paid for, the seating arrangements and causes bad feelings since not everyone knows they are morons that don't understand the invitation is only for those it was sent to. Their behavior has caused some very unpleasant misunderstandings in the family.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

At 14 and 15 your children are no longer kids. I wouldn't go.

Lori

 

[iamsorcerermickey]

OK I'm going to try to say this without stepping on any toes here.

What is the matter with some people??

Your 14 & 15 year old---- ARE FAMILY

A family gathering--is a family gathering--Unless the invitation specifically states that it is strictly for adults.

You are not being sensitive--I would not attend either--When you RSVP your decline it should be--I'm sorry, we will be busy with our boys that day--

 

[IloveDMB]

I could maybe understand if they were paying per head and not inviting any children AT ALL.

But it is pot luck and you are bringing a dish to contribute. It's not like they have to pay extra for your sons.

That said, I wouldn't feel bad about not going. To exclude your sons while inviting others is shameful. A family gathering is a family gathering, not a selective-family gathering.

 

[MAC3]

Auriel,

This bothers me as well, I will not attend any function that my daughter is not invited to unless it is a distant relative that may not know her well, or and adult themed (heavy drinking) type thing....

JMO,
Lisa

 

[disykat]

I personally love casual potlucks, even for bring a gift events - but only for very close friends or family where I would know everyone there. I would probably choose not to attend if I couldn't bring my kids though. Gift + potluck dish + babysitter is no longer casual for my wallet!

 

[Pam]

I think your dh's niece is a putz

yeah - what Shannon said - and you can tell that niece that we said so when you decline her crappy invitation!!

You are not being sensitive - I would be pretty darn mad, personally.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

It seems a little weird. It's not like it is a formal party! Whenever I go to my relatives's parties, there are always tons of kids around. They always set a separate table for the kids!