Inheritance - good or bad

[Lizzy Lemon]

My DH's grandmother died last October and her house has been sold and the profits left to her two children my mother-in-law and DH's uncle. Last night when they visited my mum-in-law gave us all some money. It was unexpected and a pleasant surprise, I am going to get some dollars ready for next years holiday and DH has plans for his. The trouble is the children had £500 each and Ashley wants to buy a x-box game, fair enough £30 'ish' and bank the rest - sensible. Glen, however at almost 13, want to buy a mobile phone that videos, takes photos, colour screen, plays games. I can't get through to him that he's got a basic phone for emergencies and that it what he needs why does he need another one which in my opinion is a waste of money. Do you let your children learn the hard way and waste their cash or do you put your foot down and say no. He keeps changing his story from 'I want it' to 'the kids at school say my phone is c..p'. I want him to be happy and I know it's money for him but it's my responsibility to guide him isn't it?

Sorry just noticed this is on the wrong board.

 

[AlanUK]

Just moving this over to the CB for you

 

[gilld]

At 13 he has his own mind but maybe you can allow him say £100 to do with as he chooses and save the rest for later.

 

[wideeyes]

In my opinion he should be able to get the phone as the money was given to him.. I would maybe suggest anmount that he could spend on a phone.. I don't think he will need to spend more than £150 than he could save the rest.

 

[alisonbestford]

I tend to try and let my kids (22, 18 and 7) learn from their own mistakes when it comes to money

Saying that I'd probably, as Gilld suggests, allow him a certain amount and put the rest away

My Nan gave each of my kids £1000 a couple of years ago - DD used hers to travel (and she's still not come home....... ) whilst DS spent his on PS2 stuff and a new mobile (sound familiar? )

If the phone he wants is a ridiculous price can you search around and compromise?

Just make sure he gets that phone insured..............

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

DH is going to sit with Glen and look up exactly what he wants on the web tonight. We have lots of arguments we could do without. At 13 he wants things NOW and it was one fear that he would just rush in and get the first one to grab his attention rather than shop around for the best deal which is what I will insist on because I will be footing the bill for its use! He has been to our local newsagent to register his interest in being a paperboy when he's had his birthday in four weeks and he was going to save up for a phone which I respected and supported, getting this money has made life easy for him and we all know that doesn't happen very often.
And yes, spending money on computer games sounds very familiar. Are they all out of the same mould

 

[alisonbestford]

Well, as you say, it's not often that life is made easy for any of us so, in the main, I'm all for taking advantage of such opportunities, given the chance

The paper round sounds a good plan though

I'd certainly encourage him to give that a go

 

[jns]

At 13 he has his own mind but maybe you can allow him say £100 to do with as he chooses and save the rest for later.

I would agree with this
and make sure that he knows that he has to pay for the up keep of the phone as well

I have never paid for they credit
Santa seem to be very good in our house taking phones , saying that they both paid for there first phone
DS1 always uses his phone
DS2 dosen't even know where his is
DS3 has claimed mine

The joys of parenthood

 

[alisonbestford]

DS1 always uses his phone
DS2 dosen't even know where his is
DS3 has claimed mine

The joys of parenthood

Yep, guess they're all from the same mould.............

 

[Madjock]

I would I'm afraid definitely set a limit of what he was allowed to spend and then bank the rest.

 

[wideeyes]

DH is going to sit with Glen and look up exactly what he wants on the web tonight. We have lots of arguments we could do without. At 13 he wants things NOW and it was one fear that he would just rush in and get the first one to grab his attention rather than shop around for the best deal which is what I will insist on because I will be footing the bill for its use! He has been to our local newsagent to register his interest in being a paperboy when he's had his birthday in four weeks and he was going to save up for a phone which I respected and supported, getting this money has made life easy for him and we all know that doesn't happen very often.
And yes, spending money on computer games sounds very familiar. Are they all out of the same mould

Hi I would suggest getting Pay as You go and then if your son has a paper round he can use the money earned to fund the phone him self. This may help him learn to be responsible with money, as he would of earned it himself.

Also to add Amazon have some very good prices on phones.

 

[gilld]

I think the paper round is a great idea and I would only pay for a certain amount of phone credit - he can buy the rest with his own money.

Years ago when our daughters were about 13 or 14 we started giving them a clothing allowance - then it was £50 a month - now would probably need to be a lot more. From then on, I bought all clothes related to school and a few casual things, but they had to buy their own "going out" clothes. They very quickly learned the value of money, when spending their own!

 

[mandymouse]

I tend to try and let my kids (22, 18 and 7) learn from their own mistakes when it comes to money

Saying that I'd probably, as Gilld suggests, allow him a certain amount and put the rest away

I'm with Alison here, kids do need to learn by their mistakes. I would agree an amount that he can spend now and then the rest should be saved

What a lovely surprise to get some extra money that you can use on your holiday

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

Gilld - I've been thinking along the lines of putting his pocket money and a clothing allowance in the bank for him to draw on so he can be responsible for a budget. Like most teenagers he's very fond of nice trainers and the new football shirts etc. but I think he'd blow the lot on the first day he gets it because money seems to burn a hole in his pocket and I sometimes think he'd buy anything rather than come home emptyhanded! They do have to learn the hard way and this is where the problem arises because you just want to prevent them from the pitfalls you as an experienced adult can see but at the end of the day it doesn't do your child any favours if you don't let they learn by their mistakes - my head tells me this, my heart tells me another.


Glen you drive me but I you so much.
message from Glen
thank you for encouraging my mom to let me buy my own new phone from Glen

 

[angel659]

Hi

Personally I would sit down with him and come up with a compromise and bank the rest. I would also suggest that he pays half of the allowance of pay as you go when he starts his paper round. I would bank the rest of the money in an account he can not have until he is 18. At least he would have some interest on the money that way and if he does get a job and wants to start saving he has a little pot already started.

 

[carolfoy]

great idea, a friend of mine whose daughter got her first real job banked the money she was made to pay (begrudgingly) for her 'bed and board' and gave it back to her at 18 to buy a car with. It made the daughter realise that if you pay your own way and save as well, you can reap the rewards