Informal invitation to a party/picnic etiquette...

[Charade]

Poll coming!

Suppose you're invited to a casual gathering but an RSVP was not stipulated. Would you let the host know if you were attending or not? And if not, why not?

 

[shortbun]

you let them know. Why would you make them guess? What's the issue?

 

[disney4us2002]

I voted Depends. If the invitation is to something like an open house and there are many, many invited, then probably not. If the invitation is for just me or me & spouse, then yeah, I would rsvp that we will or will not be able to make it.

 

[Ceila]

As the guest, I would let them know. However, as the host, if I omitted the RSVP on an invitation I wouldn't hold it against anyone who didn't let me know if they were coming or not.

 

[pixiewings71]

Yes, I still RSVP.

 

[TomorrowlandFamily]

I voted other.

If there's no RSVP indicated, it gives me the freedom to decide at the last minute. So I'd either just show up or not, and not let the host know in advance.

 

[Charade]

you let them know. Why would you make them guess? What's the issue?

We put out an invite for a family/close friends party/picnic and some already let us know they couldn't make it, some haven't said either way. The party is this Sunday. We have to go shopping for food and other things.

Personally I couldn't just let the host hang in the breeze. I'd let them know as soon as I could make it or not. I think it's just courteous to do so.

 

[Charade]

As the guest, I would let them know. However, as the host, if I omitted the RSVP on an invitation I wouldn't hold it against anyone who didn't let me know if they were coming or not.

If you invited 30 or 40 people and some don't let you know that they're not coming, how do you plan for food?

 

[Hannathy]

If it was a sent invite, mail or email, unless it asked for a RSVP I wouldn't let them know. If they wanted to know they would have put rsvp on the invite.

If it was a small gathering and I was invited by mouth then I would let them know either when I was asked or tell them I would let them know asap.

 

[disney4us2002]

I forgot earlier to mention that for work I am responsible for planning these events that occur quarterly and I always ask for replies yes and no with numbers attending so that adequate food and adult supervision is available (many invited bring kids) and it is rare that more than half respond at all. I think RSVPing is a thing of the past. Sadly.

 

[maslex]

If you invited 30 or 40 people and some don't let you know that they're not coming, how do you plan for food?

If I had an informal invite to a picnic/party I would simply say, "Sure, we can make it. What would you like me to bring?" OR "Sorry, we already have plans for that day, but thanks for the invite."

It doesn't take but a second to say, YES or NO.

But if I had invited say 30-40 people to a picnic, I would simply plan on making enough food for 30-40 people whether they showed up or not. Then when you have a bunch of food leftover, just send some home with people. That's what I do.

If many people decide they don't want to bring any leftovers home, I would simply have another picnic the following day with some close friends/family.

This is what our good friends do that live across the street from us.
Every Memorial Day and July 4th, they throw a big picnic. There's usually 50-60 people or so that come throughout the day. And everyone brings something to eat. By the end of the day, there is usually quite a bit of food left. The following day they invite us over to have another cookout to use up the food. Actually, they don't even "invite" us anymore...it's just tradition that we show up the next day.

 

[NHdisneylover]

As the guest, I would let them know. However, as the host, if I omitted the RSVP on an invitation I wouldn't hold it against anyone who didn't let me know if they were coming or not.

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As a hostess, for a larger gathering I either do not ask for RSVPs and "overbuy" and plan on eating leftovers most likely and sending extras home with people, OR I specifically ask for RSVPs so I can plan. I would never expect people to RSVP for a largish gathering (picnic with family and friends) if I had not asked them to.

 

[Erin1700]

Why didn't you ask people to RSVP?

 

[Ceila]

If you invited 30 or 40 people and some don't let you know that they're not coming, how do you plan for food?

For a party of that size, I always remember to set an RSVP date to avoid such issues. If somehow I forgot to do that, it would be my mistake. I couldn't possibly blame my guests for not letting me know if I never asked them to do so. Some people would logically assume that I didn't need a response if I didn't bother to put RSVP on the invitation.

 

[goofy4tink]

I voted yes, either way. You see, I'm the idiot who sent out invitations to our dd's graduation party. It was an open house type thing, come when you can. And of course, I forgot to put an RSVP on them!! Made it really hard to figure out numbers. But, a lot of people still let me know whether or not they were coming. I was very appreciative!!!
So, yeah, I let people know...even if there isn't an RSVP listed.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We put out an invite for a family/close friends party/picnic and some already let us know they couldn't make it, some haven't said either way. The party is this Sunday. We have to go shopping for food and other things.

Personally I couldn't just let the host hang in the breeze. I'd let them know as soon as I could make it or not. I think it's just courteous to do so.

I have been to many gatherings without RSVPs like grad parties and you just make the food.

Flipside, as in my sister hosted a baby shower for her niece and half of the people that RSVP who were coming did not show up!!!

You can't win either way. How many left do you have to hear from? Sounds like you have a rough estimate. I would pick up the phone and call them.

Unless there is an RSVP, I do not respond to an invite UNLESS it was online & I saw it, which could be hit or miss.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Thank you OP for posting this!!! I totally feel your pain. I actually checked to see where you were to see if you were a friend of mine trying to decide on whether or not to RSVP.

We moved and have planned a large BBQ/Swim party. I sent the invites via regular mail and probably invited over 50 families. Time was listed as 12 noon onward (meaning you can come later if something is going on or whatever). I asked for an RSVP and put specfically that we would like to plan for food prep purposes. Gave a date and 2 ways to RSVP, phone number with answering machine or an email address. I would say that 75% of the people haven't RSVP'd yet. I put the date for a response down for tomorrow. What the heck is up with that? Do I assume that the rest aren't coming??

 

[LilyWDW]

We put out an invite for a family/close friends party/picnic and some already let us know they couldn't make it, some haven't said either way. The party is this Sunday. We have to go shopping for food and other things.

Personally I couldn't just let the host hang in the breeze. I'd let them know as soon as I could make it or not. I think it's just courteous to do so.

If knowing numbers is important, then you should have put an RSVP. So really it is also on the host to be sure that they do the invites the way they want them.

 

[mom2travel]

As the guest, I would let them know. However, as the host, if I omitted the RSVP on an invitation I wouldn't hold it against anyone who didn't let me know if they were coming or not.

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[blana]

I'm really in a depends kind of area. To explain, my own wedding had no RSVP data. We found out the day of who was coming. Where I grew up, this is normal. I have been 3rd handedly invited more than one place. ("Oh, Kris is in town? Tell her to come, too!") Those, there's no way I'd RSVP for. (Nor could I.) However if a friend says, "Hey, we're having a bunch of people over. Why don't y'all come out?" I'd usually say whether I thought we could go & then ask what I could do to help.