In Search of My Body vol.9 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

[lisaviolet]

OMG Lisa. Pipsqueak in my luggage

No. That would have meant push-ups at 6:00 am

OMG. One of the best parts of my TR is when Kat caught the stairs in one of my Dixie Landings pictures and had a serious and frightening flashback. Of Erika getting all morning sunshine on them by running those exact stairs over and over.

I AM NEVER EVER EVER STAYING IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT WOMAN!!! EVER,

ok. ok. Only because I love you Lisa.

Love it. Made my night.

You have so many talents Nancy. Look at you.

 

[lisaviolet]

A little more of my trip....

Monday we went to San Diego Safari Park - it's the sister park to the San Diego Zoo. Think Animal Kingdom, minus the rides & general consumerism. I went into it expecting to be "meh", but holy cow! We really enjoyed it. Don't you love those kind of days? Lovely. It was a beautiful day and we spent much, much more time there than we had anticipated.

This guy cracked me up - looking at himself in the mirror

this one really made me laugh. I read it as "if you dare to enter we'll break your leg"

again - for Lisa....

This is so interesting. We have this place near Toronto called "African Lion Safari" and it's wild. I haven't been since I was child because I probably had intense nightmares. You drive through with your car? Let me stop right here and say, "why?" and two - what are these poor animals doing here in Canada? - Okay back to my story. I don't know if little boys love the place but let me tell you as a little girl it was terrifying. You drive through and I'm not kidding these INSANE monkeys literally throw themselves at you car and the feeling is the monkeys are thinking "if we can only get IN that car" And meanwhile other wild animals are passing by. Back to the monkeys. They try to get you and hang on with their life. It's the most insane place. Okay, sorry back to your TR. Hey! No Tijuana Senora?


So, we spent a l-o-n-g time at the Safari Park which meant that there wasn't much time to do something else before it got dark. Yep. Supertramp. Again. Oh Nancy!!!(stick with me guys. You'll notice a trend) We drove thru a whole lotta desert & hills. The roads twist and turn up and down insane slopes and people drive like maniacs I was seriously having anxiety attacks. We went for miles of nothing in the darkness when BAM! Out of nowhere - an Indian Casino. You got to love a road trip!!!! Then, nothing again. Is it any wonder I drank an outrageous amount of wine this week???

Can't wait for more. No pressure.

 

[lisaviolet]

OMG. I just caught your edit.

 

[lisaviolet]

Okay, it's late. (OMG. EDIT. It's not late - I have no viable excuse ) And I just referred to Nancy's husband as Mr. Huge. Just so this goes no further - I know nothing more than he eats and eats and eats and is very lean. Huge was pure sarcasm and that's all I know.

 

[lisaviolet]

to all. And to all a good night. I think it's best that I retire now.

 

[poppinspal]

I hope it's not wrong that I love Nancy's TR but I equally love it with Lisa's little comments added to it.

Nancy- I'm glad you shared the dolphin picture!

You all are in troubbbbble if E comes back and notices all the going on here!


I'm literally running on empty this month, can we say exhaustion? But we finally finished putting away all the usual decorations in the house and replaced them with the Christmas decorations. (Yes, my mom takes down almost everything to put up Christmas stuff in its place.) I've also picked out how I'm going to get my hair cut when I donate it. I'm calling tomorrow to make the appointment. (And yes Lisa, they take colored hair, just not bleached hair.)

Weight loss? Yeah, I'll get back to work on that tomorrow.

 

[poppinspal]

his is so interesting. We have this place near Toronto called "African Lion Safari" and it's wild. I haven't been since I was child because I probably had intense nightmares. You drive through with your car? Let me stop right here and say, "why?" and two - what are these poor animals doing here in Canada? - Okay back to my story. I don't know if little boys love the place but let me tell you as a little girl it was terrifying. You drive through and I'm not kidding these INSANE monkeys literally throw themselves at you car and the feeling is the monkeys are thinking "if we can only get IN that car" And meanwhile other wild animals are passing by. Back to the monkeys. They try to get you and hang on with their life. It's the most insane place.

They make movies about people who get stuck in places like that. My luck my car would break down and some monkey would find a way into my car.

No, I won't be rushing off to any places where I'd be driving my little Toyota Corolla past wild animals.

 

[cathie1327]

Okay-I'm on my laptop now and it behaves MUCH better than my work computer so let's see if I can get this out after a somewhat emotional night.

I thought this was very good advice Cathie. And I can only guess that it took a bit of vulnerability for Nancy to write that. I'll tell you something - it *sometimes* comes with age - and I know that sounds patronizing. But I really think it helps to see your parents as humans at some point in life. God Cathie - that sounds so condescending - I wish I could explain it. I've learned that slowly over the years - it's been a hard hard lesson. I'm not communicating well. I don't know how to explain it.

If you only knew the poor choices my parents have made in their life - for their children - some they will admit - some they lament - and some they will take kicking and screaming to their graves.

Cathie - I've edited this part. It's too bad b/c it helped me explain what I'm trying to get across. I wrote a story about something that's going on in my family right now and how I feel one of my siblings is struggling with a parent in a similar way. I've taken it out because I feel like an a$$ to put their sh!t on the DIS. Plus,selfishly my moniker is pretty transparent. .

I love him. And I know you love your mother Cathie. Your mother - I suspect - is trying her best. The best she knows how. And I bet there are mistakes that she'll never ever admit in life and some she will admit and regret at some point. Humans.

Please know I do not walk in your shoes Cathie. Obviously. But I promise you at some point you'll have more peace surrounding your mother's choices. And that doesn't mean agreeing - just more peace.

I'm just thinking out loud - but sometimes I do wonder what it's like to give birth to a child and have them struggle or pass away etc. It must be agonizing as a parent. I don't know if you were on this spring/summer but my cousin passed away after struggling with many issues and it broke my heart to think that one day you hold a baby and the next.......

I do remember, and it made my heart break for you...

Well I just a rambled. I came on to say that I think Nancy's words are a gift and I went on and on. to you honestly no matter how this came across.

First of all- not condescending. I wish my earlier post had stuck. Cuz it was about a lot of what you just said.

I think the biggest thing is.....I'm not mad at her for caring...... He's her son. I EXPECT her to unconditionally love him. I'd think something was wrong with her if she didn't. I guess my real problem is that I have seen her struggle with this sooooo much. I've seen her cry and wonder aloud what she did wrong as a parent, when really, it's not her fault that he's done these things. And I know that part of the loving him and always having hope for him....is that pain. And I HATE seeing her go through it. I can't begrudge her for her feelings, because the relationship with my brother and I and my brother and mom will always be different, even if he didn't do the things he had. I'm not mad AT her. Or even AT him. I'm just mad that it's happening. I'm mad that she has to have that pain. And my way of not having that pain, has been to have the feelings towards him that I do. To mentally "check out" I guess. I know I've got to accept that that just isn't going to happen for her. I just hate seeing someone like HIM cause an amazing woman like HER so much pain. I hate it hate it hate it. And I can see it getting worse, because he hasn't been sentenced yet. I guess part of me just wishes she could mentally check out for a while too, just to save herself some suffereing. But that's unfair for me. I realize that. I don't/shouldn't expect it. Makes it no less frustrating, though. I guess my frustration just comes out in angry selfish bursts. I don't mean to dis-entitle her for her feelings....I just wish her feelings didn't put her through so much pain.

Now I'm rambling....and I respect you editing your post.....but really if you want to talk about it, I (we) are here to listen....I might not have a lot of input, but I can be a good ear that knows how to comisserate (sp?) when it comes to family issues.....

Gosh I had so much more I wanted to say. But I've deleted about half of it. I just can't get things to come out right without the frustration speaking for me. I think a lot of it is the stress that just innately comes with the holidays. And I feel awful that he wont' be here....not cuz I'll miss him but because she does. Our family has kind of dwindled away the last couple of years, between deaths, jail, and divorces.....it's just a really tough holiday for those of us left...

Done rambling. I promise.

 

[cathie1327]

Hi everyone,

Busy weekend here but I think I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. One more trip to pick up a few small things for a few friends and I should be set! I am finishing up my baking today and then we are trimming the tree.

I hope you had a good time baking. I love baking.. Just not the mess I have to clean up afterwards

Went to JC yesterday and was up 1/2 a pound. Not horrible but not great. :-(. Getting mire than a but frustrated at this point as I am continuing my backwards slide. Each week is a tiny bit better than the week before but that number on the scale sure sucks. I don't like the way my clothes are fitting me and I generally consider myself to be mire like Jabba the Hut than anything else these days. Sighing.... You know it is bad when I am obsessing over a number on the scale right Lisa?

I'm sorry it's not what you were hoping for. BUT. I'm going to say that I think you need to give yourself a little credit here. You've come A LONG WAY. While you may not be going quite in the direction you want, you haven't given up on yourself, you've identified the problem, and you're addressing it. I don't care what the scale says, that's still awesome in my book.

So this week I have a rule. Other than the industry dinner I am going to on Tuesday night, no eating out for me! Too much salt, fat and calories in that food and it is not worth it right now. Keep me honest folks...

Jo - please listen to your doctor and take care of yourself. Letting this develop into full blown pneumonia isn't going to help get you to the Princess.

Ronda - how did your cookies come out?

Cathie - I am curious, how did your stomach handle the Chinese and Mexican food? Have they ruled out gallstones?

So-here's the weird thing. No matter what I've done to change my diet (aside from gluten free, that's next) it hasn't changed my symptoms. Which for me, is weird, and here's why. When I was 17, I had my gallbladder removed (so no, no gallstones ) and ever since then, anything REMOTELY greasy had me in the bathroom REAL fast. Ever since then I go a few times a day (sorry for the tmi) but for the past few months, I'm lucky if I can go a tiny bit once a day. For some people, normal. For me, highly abnormal.

However, she did say that there's a small possibility that I could be developing gallstones in the duct that goes from the liver to stomach, since they form in the bile, and that's what goes through there. But it's hard to spot, since eventually, the stone gets pushed out, so it's hard to catch one in there. And even then....there's not much they could do about it.

Nancy - welcome home! Can't wait to hear about the trip.

Kat - welcome home to you too. Enjoy some well deserved peace and travel free time.

E - hope you are having fun.

Meg - how are you doing. Loving the idea of donating your hair to locks of love.

Kelly - all dug out and out of the deep freeze yet?

Ron - how is the walking going?

Liz - hope all is well with you.

Lisa - have they set the date for the surgery yet? How is the house hunting /selling going? We miss you around here... Hope you know that.

I think I caught everyone.

Paula, I hear you on the diet, My goal it to bring my lunch all week. I know that I eat bad at work as a comfort because I really don't like who I work for. So I chose food as my distraction.

Paula, Kat, thanks for the vote of confidence. I did get back on the treadmill tonight and did 2 miles. I just need to get a run in. Still coughing a bit, but I have meds. I don't know if I will get my miles up to 14 by the princess, I am just going to do what I can. The treadmill is so very hard for me. I was even watching Sex in the City 2.

I hope everyone is well. Have a great night all!!

PLEASE be careful Jo!!!! I know you want to run, but pnuemonia is so scary because it comes on real fast without you realizing it sometimes. That's what happened to me earlier this year. Sorry---not trying to sound bossy....just be careful

TR coming at some point here (which means that I did indeed win the battle of the camera ) But first, some catching up.

Rob - welcome to the party. As you have noticed (I hope....) we're a friendly group!

Liz - ah, the dreaded weigh in day. Here's my opinion. Sunday is family day right? So. Do you want to enjoy family day or stress over it. I, myself, would want to enjoy. So I'd choose Friday for my weigh in day. It gives you so much more opportunity for flexibility and to be able to enjoy your family day for whatever it is, and have the week to "recover" if needed before your next weigh in.

Cathie. I have SO many thoughts here. First,<insert stern voice here> the cancer sticks must go. Immediately.. I know it's not easy, but if you are serious about wanting to be healthy that is the very first thing that needs to be dealt with.

It's hard....and easy...at the same time. It's really not that hard until I'm with people I would normally smoke with. Like the coworkers I go on break with. That's the really big one I'm trying to overcome. I haven't bought any in 3 weeks, and I've been stuck to the couch too much to hang out with friends, it's just mostly at work that is the struggle.

And now - your brother. Or more specifically here, your mother. As the mother of a 19 year old myself (yes, I'm old-ish ) I can completely empathize with your mother. Trust me when I say that she knows the reality of the situation. But unconditional love is just an inherant thing. We simply can't help ourselves. You are walking a very fine line here, and I'm assuming that you cherish your relationship with your parents. If so, please don't diminish or disparage her feelings and emotions. That is so not helpful. I understand that your brothers actions have caused a lot of turmoil in your family - but if you could keep your comments focused on his ACTIONS (ie. His stealing/lying, etc. has caused me great pain vs. He is the source of our family troubles) I think it would be beneficial to your mother/daughter relationship.

Hrm. I guess see above. It applies also I guess. Except that I should add thank you Really, thanks to everyone. The frustration of this can be so overwhelming, and it's helpful to be brought back down to Earth.

Jo - yeah. you can do this. Get yourself better, then get back at it. We all know you can do this. Now, it's time for you to believe in yourself

Lisa- I thought of you on vacation. I took some pictures just for you. Wait. You'll see

thanks. And I do understand your ramblings Lisa. There is a huge difference, IMO, in sibling-sibling relationships and parent-child relationships. And I do believe, Cathie, that just as you are entitled to your feelings about your brother, your mother is entitled to hers. That's all. I'll stop now.

It's easier to accept that she and I aren't going to feel the same on some days than others. I think as time goes on and wounds start to heal...it will get easier.



OKAY. Sorry, I know I had more responses than that earlier. But Carlos is at his mom and dad's and I have the living room to myself for the night....and am pretty emotional anyway, so I guess this was a good time to address all of it...

I went to a bible study I used to regularly attend tonight to deliver some Christmas gifts to friends there that I likely won't see before Christmas. The family that holds it are old friends of mine...really my second set of parents. They asked about my brother, as they really don't know anything that's happened lately. I told them everything, and everything that I've told you guys, about being frustrated, and emotional about it...and we prayed and she really helped me come to some good terms with it....just as you guys have.....so THANK YOU...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Like I said earlier....I know all of this. But it's hard to see sometimes with the pent up frustration. I think there are a lot of wounds that are still healing, and that need to heal even more that will take some time. And I'm such a right now person, time is hard for me. Patience is hard for me.


OKay.....so aside from that.....this week has been kind of okay...a lot of pain the last few days. Last night I woke up around 4 and couldn't go back to sleep because it ddin't matter how I laid, it hurt. And poor Carlos, it woke him up too. I'm hoping it lays off enough for Christmas, so I'm not miserable then too.....I got an email from my doctor this week, saying that after the G.I. doctor does the colonoscopy and endoscopy she's like to have tests done for Celiac Disease (thus the next diet being gluten free)....at this point I don't mind doing whatever tests they won't....I'd just like them to find something.

Food has been....okay. I haven't been eating much so there hasn't been much to track on sparkpeople. I feel too bloated to eat. I am forcing myself at times but it's tough. Not really the way I want to lose weight, not eating....

Okay now I'm really rambling. It's late. Maybe if I can get into bed before Carlos comes home I can sleep through the night without waking him up....

thanks everyone for listening. And thanks even more for caring. Have a good night all.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

OMG. I just caught your edit.

I'm beginning to feel the Christmas Crunch Hold on people, we could be in for a bumpy ride

 

[Ronda93]

Hold on people, we could be in for a bumpy ride

I'm hearing the clank, clank, clank of BTMRR. Hold on!

Ronda

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

I'm beginning to feel the Christmas Crunch Hold on people, we could be in for a bumpy ride

Hold on ur almost there just 1 more week!!!!!!

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Bah Humbug

My husband is making me nuts.

on the upside of life, I did get a solid workout in this morning. And a successful trip to Target I'm getting my hair cut this afternoon and then taking Becca to look at new cell phones. Mine is toast.

 

[robmck3898]

Hello everyone, just thought I'd check in. I'm done with finals and now get to enjoy a few weeks of just working.
I think I need to make a little cheat sheet with everyone's name attached with their screen name, so that I can respond with actual names lol. So for now here goes:

goofyfan--Walking is going well. I've only been going about 3 miles daily, but I plan to amp up my speed and I need to start timing myself. As it gets closer to January I'm gonna push the doctor's orders a little and start light jogging.

AKASnowWhite--Yes, very friendly and very welcoming. I'm glad I decided to jump on in.

I went to the mall yesterday and it always just reminds me of why I need to start my Christmas shopping early.

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

Hi rob I am Jo
The stores are crazy right now.


Ok, I have been eating like its my job today
Coke burgers chocolate. (Caramel hershey kisses)
I did 1.5 on the treadmi before work so thats good
But Self destruction OVER, I want that bling at the finish line
So i am getting it together

 

[poppinspal]

So my exhaustion has finally given way to a cold. I have spent the night on the couch watching cheesy ABC Family Christmas movies. (We save watching the classics for when the whole family is together.) I won't lie I really enjoy sitting with the Christmas lights on while watching tv.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Oh no, Meg! Feel better

I was hoping to get to my favorite part of the trip last night, but alas, got sidetracked by Mr. Grinch who needed assistance with mp3 shopping for Becca (shhhh. It's a secret )

Jo - I struggle every day right now with my eating. Christmas treats. Holiday stress. Friends, family, parties. I'm just trying to get my exercise in and hold steady for the next 2 weeks.

Rob - the mall heading there with my daughter this afternoon. Pray for us people

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday!

 

[cathie1327]

Hi all,

Hope everyone's having a wonderful Wednesday! Had my art final last night and now I am DONE! Pretty sure I made it out of the class with a B. I lost a letter grade because I missed one too many classes. It makes me a little frustrated because it wasn't becasue I didn't want to go, it was because of this stomach pain crap. Oh well. A B isn't bad.

Doing some Christmas shopping for Carlos tonight. He's so hard to shop for. All he does is watch tv and play video games He wears a uniform to work, so any shirts I buy him are mostly just for the weekends...and he has enough of them haha. He buys all his music off of itunes rather than buy cds....so I thought an itunes gift card, but that's so impersonal!!!!

Meg-feel better!!!

I'll be back around later. Have a good day everyone!

 

[cantwaitvaca09]

Nancy if I csn get past December and not gain I will be happy
But i have done very well today with eating and I am going to run club tonight

 

[goofyfan-12]

Does it mean I am a bit distracted if I thought it was Tuesday until I got an email from a friend with 'Wednesday' as the subject line? I actually had to check the calendar for what day of the week it was. Oy to the vey!

How is everyone doing?

I am kind of eh tonight. I got a good workout in so that was good. Now I am sitting curled up in a blanket with a cup of tea. Ah.....

Feel better Meg.