In light of the "mean to my 4 year old thread"... what would you think about this?

[Papa Deuce]

My family went to dinner tonight at a place with about 25 tables / booths. This family came in with 6 total people and sat next to us. It was a mom and dad, 2 grandparents, a young girl about age 4 and a boy who I am guessing was 1.5 years old.

About 15 minutes into our meal, the young girl came over and started talking to my wife. My wife LOVES kids and talked to her for about 5 minutes beforre saying "OK, honey, we would like to finish eating, so you should go back to your table".

While the girl was conversing with my wife I kept looking at the table she "belonged to". It seemed that not a single person even noticed she was not at the table.

Well, the girl decided to move on and start talking to another family at another table. I must have seen this girl stop and talk to at least 5 or 6 tables. Finally, the girl left the room of the restaurant that we were in and went into the main room, which our table had a full view of.

At this point, I guess my wife was worried for the child and went over to the mother of the child and said "Excuse me, but did you notice that your daughter is out in the main dining room?" The mom turned her head and looked at the girl - who was chatting with yet another table - and said, "She's fine. She wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat".

( Now to be fair, this girl was no more than 30 - 35 feet from her parents at any given time )

To which my wife looked at the mom, and said "That really isn't the point, is it?"

The mom looked at my wife like my wife was from another planet, and then turned back to eating. Then she looked over to her 4 year old daughter ( I am just guessing her age, obviously ) and said "You be careful out there Casey and stay out of the waitresses way." And not one other adult at that table said or did anything to the girl.


As my wife and I went back to eating I have to admit that I was at least a little annoyed ( just a wee bit, not a lot ) by the girl coming over and talking to us while my family was trying to enjoy dinner. My wife, obviously, was not annoyed at all. But what concerned me even more was that here is this 4 year old child walking around unattended in a potentially hazardous situation, and even after her parents were made aware, still, nothing changed.

Not only could this child have been injured or caused injury, I kept thinking that somebody could EASILY scoop this child up and take her away before her parents could even have a chance to prevent it.


So, I guess this doesn't REALLY correlate to the "mean to my 4 year old" thread, per se, but I was immediately reminded of it as this was all happening.

I am guessing that this child was unsupervised for at least 20 minutes, maybe as much as 30 - 35 minutes.

 

[minkydog]

I'm with you on this. I find it extremely annoying when children come over to my table and blather on about just about anything. Hey! I've got to listen to my own kids, I don't want to listen to theirs. It is a rare thing that DH & I get to have a dinner alone and I sure as heck don't want to see, hear, or smell anybody else's rugrats.

We have relatives that thought it was perfectly fine to let their bad-mannered hellions roam free during meals out. They ran around like it was a playground, knocking over drinks, taking food(french fries) off people's tables , and taking tips off tables. I was appalled and embarrassed to be seen with them! We left as quickly as we could and we NEVER went to dinner with them again. Interestingly, these kids grew up to be low-life high school drop outs who now mooch off the state because they can't or won't get jobs. Makes me sick.

 

[luvmy3]

While on the other thread I was a supporter of the poker, in this case I think the parents were definitely in the wrong to let their child walk around a restaurant no matter how far from them she was. Its one thing for her to turn her head from her chair and talk to the person next to them, but its definitely another to go wander about stopping at every table.

Just curious as to what the woman's response was when your DW said what she did to her about that not being the point
nevermind I just noticed that I missed it in your post

 

[MizTink]

My family went to dinner tonight at a place with about 25 tables / booths. This family came in with 6 total people and sat next to us. It was a mom and dad, 2 grandparents, a young girl about age 4 and a boy who I am guessing was 1.5 years old.

About 15 minutes into our meal, the young girl came over and started talking to my wife. My wife LOVES kids and talked to her for about 5 minutes beforre saying "OK, honey, we would like to finish eating, so you should go back to your table".

While the girl was conversing with my wife I kept looking at the table she "belonged to". It seemed that not a single person even noticed she was not at the table.

Well, the girl decided to move on and start talking to another family at another table. I must have seen this girl stop and talk to at least 5 or 6 tables. Finally, the girl left the room of the restaurant that we were in and went into the main room, which our table had a full view of.

At this point, I guess my wife was worried for the child and went over to the mother of the child and said "Excuse me, but did you notice that your daughter is out in the main dining room?" The mom turned her head and looked at the girl - who was chatting with yet another table - and said, "She's fine. She wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat".

( Now to be fair, this girl was no more than 30 - 35 feet from her parents at any given time )

To which my wife looked at the mom, and said "That really isn't the point, is it?"

The mom looked at my wife like my wife was from another planet, and then turned back to eating. Then she looked over to her 4 year old daughter ( I am just guessing her age, obviously ) and said "You be careful out there Casey and stay out of the waitresses way." And not one other adult at that table said or did anything to the girl.


As my wife and I went back to eating I have to admit that I was at least a little annoyed ( just a wee bit, not a lot ) by the girl coming over and talking to us while my family was trying to enjoy dinner. My wife, obviously, was not annoyed at all. But what concerned me even more was that here is this 4 year old child walking around unattended in a potentially hazardous situation, and even after her parents were made aware, still, nothing changed.

Not only could this child have been injured or caused injury, I kept thinking that somebody could EASILY scoop this child up and take her away before her parents could even have a chance to prevent it.


So, I guess this doesn't REALLY correlate to the "mean to my 4 year old" thread, per se, but I was immediately reminded of it as this was all happening.

I am guessing that this child was unsupervised for at least 20 minutes, maybe as much as 30 - 35 minutes.

some people are such idiots.........

 

[dismom2]

Yet another example of a rude and irresponsible parent (frankly, the whole table was, since they all allowed this to take place). Just because the child wasn't hungry does not mean she should be allowed to roam the restaurant. It's not polite, it's not safe, it shows poor manners..... it's wrong on many levels.

 

[minkydog]

Just because the child wasn't hungry does not mean she should be allowed to roam the restaurant. It's not polite, it's not safe, it shows poor manners..... it's wrong on many levels.

I agree. I didn't allow that at home either. I never made my kids eat something the really didn't like, but I didn't provide anything else either. I used to tell them "You don't have to eat anything, but you can stay at the table and make sparkling conversation." And they did.

 

[Stacerita]

I would have been annoyed. And the parents are idiots.

 

[Sparx]

Yet another example of a rude and irresponsible parent (frankly, the whole table was, since they all allowed this to take place). Just because the child wasn't hungry does not mean she should be allowed to roam the restaurant. It's not polite, it's not safe, it shows poor manners..... it's wrong on many levels.

ita

 

[MizTink]

when my kids were little they learned that when we were at a restaurant, they stayed at the table. period.
we made ONE trip to the restroom, if we had to. and they knew that if i was taking one of them to the potty, they either went at the same time or waited until we were home.
kids aren't born knowing these things. parents have to teach them.

 

[KandD]

Those parents are morons. On a busy Friday night they are letting their little one roam around getting in the way of the servers and other patrons. Plus it is not such a great thing to teach the child that when they are bored they can just wander away and talk to strangers.

 

[FireDancer]

I also didn't see a big deal with the 4yr old on the other thread talking to an adult sitting next to them but getting up and wandering the restaurant doing table interviews seems a bit extreme and uncalled for. Are you sure this wasn't an ill conceived reality show? It actually sounds more entertaining that most of the ones that got on the air if it is.

 

[bumbershoot]

To which my wife looked at the mom, and said "That really isn't the point, is it?"

But what concerned me even more was that here is this 4 year old child walking around unattended in a potentially hazardous situation, and even after her parents were made aware, still, nothing changed.

Love how your wife said that. Too bad the lady didn't get it.

That would have been my concern too. I mean, 4 year olds are short and servers carry big trays that impede their vision below them (unless they do the side carry at their shoulder), and that could lead to a nasty situation, but yeah, seems too easy for the kidlet to be scooped.

I often think, to myself, when I see things like that..."if you don't want to care for that kid, I'd be happy to do so" or the one I say quietly to my husband..."want another kid? there's one right there."...just sort of a way to deal with wondering where the brains of people are.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's any more dangerous for kids now...I read my Roman History...but I think that in *any* time we shouldn't just let kids go willynilly wherever they want, especially when cars are parked *right* outside...

I used to tell them "You don't have to eat anything, but you can stay at the table and make sparkling conversation." And they did.

OK I love that. I do let DS wander at home, we're really casual here...but at restaurants no way no how. But home or out, I can certainly use the "sparkling conversation" line! Though I bet it will cause 10 minutes of explanation of what, exactly, makes a conversation sparkle. Meh, worth it!

 

[Mommy2cody]

These would also be the same parents who would throw a huge fit and cause a scene, if their child were to get injured by someone tripping or falling on them because they didn't see them!!

It always seems like the parents who don't pay attention to their kids, are the one who throw a fit and blame everyone else when they do something wrong and get hurt!!

That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Children running around inappropriate places like a restaurant or store! It is sad that almost every time we go out to a restaurant, I have people telling me how well behaved my son is. I always think in my head...he is just doing what he should be....sitting at the table eating!! Really, it’s NOT that hard to get them to do it!

 

[Papa Deuce]

....

That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Children running around inappropriate places like a restaurant or store! It is sad that almost every time we go out to a restaurant, I have people telling me how well behaved my son is. I always think in my head...he is just doing what he should be....sitting at the table eating!! Really, it’s NOT that hard to get them to do it!

I once had my twins - about age 4 - 5 at the time with me at lunch at Outback Steakhouse. I noticed this older couple constantly looking at my twins ( this is what I thought ). It turned out I was right. These folks were about 70 years old.

Anyway, they get up to leave and the guy walks over and puts his hands on my shoulder and says "Thank the Lord we still have some good parents left."

He then goes on to tell me that he was a retired family court judge, and he only retired because he couldn't stand dealing with bad parents any longer... which, of course, led to some ill behaved children.

As he left, he gave my shoulder a big squeeze. I LITERALLY almost cried. In fact, there is a tiny tear in my eye as I type this right now. My wife and I work so hard to raise well behaved children, and it shows. It was so nice to hear it from someone like a judge.

 

[Poppinsme]

My family went to dinner tonight at a place with about 25 tables / booths. This family came in with 6 total people and sat next to us. It was a mom and dad, 2 grandparents, a young girl about age 4 and a boy who I am guessing was 1.5 years old.

About 15 minutes into our meal, the young girl came over and started talking to my wife. My wife LOVES kids and talked to her for about 5 minutes beforre saying "OK, honey, we would like to finish eating, so you should go back to your table".

While the girl was conversing with my wife I kept looking at the table she "belonged to". It seemed that not a single person even noticed she was not at the table.

Well, the girl decided to move on and start talking to another family at another table. I must have seen this girl stop and talk to at least 5 or 6 tables. Finally, the girl left the room of the restaurant that we were in and went into the main room, which our table had a full view of.

At this point, I guess my wife was worried for the child and went over to the mother of the child and said "Excuse me, but did you notice that your daughter is out in the main dining room?" The mom turned her head and looked at the girl - who was chatting with yet another table - and said, "She's fine. She wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat".

( Now to be fair, this girl was no more than 30 - 35 feet from her parents at any given time )

To which my wife looked at the mom, and said "That really isn't the point, is it?"

The mom looked at my wife like my wife was from another planet, and then turned back to eating. Then she looked over to her 4 year old daughter ( I am just guessing her age, obviously ) and said "You be careful out there Casey and stay out of the waitresses way." And not one other adult at that table said or did anything to the girl.


As my wife and I went back to eating I have to admit that I was at least a little annoyed ( just a wee bit, not a lot ) by the girl coming over and talking to us while my family was trying to enjoy dinner. My wife, obviously, was not annoyed at all. But what concerned me even more was that here is this 4 year old child walking around unattended in a potentially hazardous situation, and even after her parents were made aware, still, nothing changed.

Not only could this child have been injured or caused injury, I kept thinking that somebody could EASILY scoop this child up and take her away before her parents could even have a chance to prevent it.


So, I guess this doesn't REALLY correlate to the "mean to my 4 year old" thread, per se, but I was immediately reminded of it as this was all happening.

I am guessing that this child was unsupervised for at least 20 minutes, maybe as much as 30 - 35 minutes.

How about going to the table of the parents of the little girl and pulling up a chair and joining them for dinner? I mean how would they like it if everybody just decided to join them and talk to them like there daughter was doing?
That would be interesting I bet.

 

[KatieG73]

My DH, DD and I were out for lunch one day at a local italian restaurant, DD was about 5 at the time.

At the table next to us there were about 6 adults and a small boy of approx 2 years old.

The wee boy was wandering around and eventually stopped at our table and started chattering, we (of course) were being nice to the wee fella but fully expected that the parents would call him or come and get him after a minute or so.....nope they just kept talking amongst themselves.

He climbed up next to me on the bench and started leaning in to me and playing with my hair - I'm looking at DH as if 'What do we do???' DH leaned over to the other table and said something along the lines of ' Your wee one is looking tired...' Thinking they would come and get him but they just smiled over???

At that point our meals arrived as did the meals at the next table and the boy's mother lifted his meal and put it on OUR table, saying to the lady sitting next to her ' Oh ........has made a new friend!!!'

In hindsight we should have been much more forceful but at the time it just seemed so sureal....

He was a cute wee thing and no trouble but it was really uncomfortable and I kept thinking that these people didn't know us from Adam so how could they trust us with their child. I also felt it was rude, it felt as though they were relieved they could have their meal without interruption!

 

[Disney Doll]

And we wonder why our kids are such screwballs?
They have parents who don't parent.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I think it's pretty horrible that this kid was allowed to interrupt other people's dinners, but I challenge the notion that a 4 year old is going to get "swooped up" and kidnapped in a crowded space in a moment's notice. Can anyone point to an incidence where that has actually happened?

There are far greater risks to our children than sudden stranger abduction in well lit public places (unless of course this little girl was the target of a custody case gone bad or something -- but you wouldn't know that).

As much as I worry about children who are taught no manners, I worry more about the children kept glued to mother's hip until they are suddenly handed the keyes to the car at 16.

 

[RunningGirl]

Unfortunately it's not surprising. I'm amazed at how parents just totally ignore their kids. We've been in so many restaurants with kids wandering around. The one that sticks in my head was in Applebee's (granted, not a fine dining experience) where there was a 4 yo little boy CRAWLING around. The waitstaff had to keep stepping over him. Then he started rolling on the floor. I kept waiting for a big tray of drinks to come down on his head as he tripped a waiter!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Yet another example of a rude and irresponsible parent (frankly, the whole table was, since they all allowed this to take place). Just because the child wasn't hungry does not mean she should be allowed to roam the restaurant. It's not polite, it's not safe, it shows poor manners..... it's wrong on many levels.

Ditto.