I'm so over this...

[pigletgirl]

So now that I'm getting married, the next question that people ask, after 'when's the date' is, 'when are you going to start trying for a child'?

It's going to be awhile folks! And then when I tell them later on, they always roll their eyes and say, you're going to have a honeymoon baby!

Why can't others mind their own business? It's getting really old.

If you have any good comebacks, I'll take 'em.

 

[Jennasis]

They will never mind their own business. We've been married 5 years and we still get harassed by strangers and acquiantences.

When I tell people we don't want kids, they get offended, as though I somehow besmearched THEIR kids. It's bizarre.

 

[cybrkitn]

My father asked me that question the weekend DH and I got married (11 years ago this past Saturday). I laughed and told him, "Dad we just got married! Give us a chance!"

 

[Pooh Crew]

Just wait! When you do finally have kids, you'll barely be home from the delivery before someone's going to ask when you are going to have the next one! And then they start in on the kids! "is he crawling/walking/talking yet?" And so on and so on.

Don't take it personally. They don't really CARE when you are doing anything...it's just to make conversation and to have something to say. Whatever your response, unless you say you are doing it exactly the way they did, will be wrong and they'll get to tell you their story about why their way is best! . You could skip the admonishments and just ask what they think you should do! Lol

 

[chloelovesdisney]

They're bored with their own lives, just ignore them.

 

[mommasita]

I agree with they will never mind their own business. I would just ignore, or ask them for their address and they will be the first to know

Just to tell you it goes both ways. I had my son 9 months and a day after being married, and I got all kinds of remarks . about not waiting and enjoying being married first, what a rush I was in, and so many more snarky comments, it really is nobody's business.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage

 

[~disneydiva~]

Someone I work with asked me when my husband and I when we were having kids. I told her we love kids, but we don't want any. She said "but they give your life meaning."

 

[MELSMICE]

I'd respond with: When we're ready!

You'll probably hear: When will that be?

You're response: Not sure, but it's not today!

 

[sbell111]

So now that I'm getting married, the next question that people ask, after 'when's the date' is, 'when are you going to start trying for a child'?

It's going to be awhile folks! And then when I tell them later on, they always roll their eyes and say, you're going to have a honeymoon baby!

Why can't others mind their own business? It's getting really old.

If you have any good comebacks, I'll take 'em.

These questions are beyond normal. Just come up with easy, comfortable answers.

 

[sbell111]

Someone I work with asked me when my husband and I when we were having kids. I told her we love kids, but we don't want any. She said "but they give your life meaning."

While I have come to agree with this answer since our daughter was born, I think that telling someone this after they inform you that they don't want kids is rather thoughtless.

 

[castleview]

What era are we in that the wedding date has to be determined right away and the next step is the baby. Next time they ask for the date, just tell them you'll call them after you get married.

Geez, if I could do it again, it would be just DH and me on some remote beach and we'd email a wedding photo of us to everyone.

 

[StDS]

I responded by saying 'we aren't sure if we can have children. i'd rather not discuss it if you don't mind'

shuts them right up and they never ask again.

when we were ready, and announced the first one was on the way, everyone was extra happy for us - and they didn't bother asking when the next one was coming.

 

[Gretchen]

Someone I work with asked me when my husband and I when we were having kids. I told her we love kids, but we don't want any. She said "but they give your life meaning."

People are stupid. I have kids, and my life had meaning before I had them, and it will have meaning when they move on. I didn't have kids to give my life meaning, I had kids because I wanted them, and trust me I love my kids, but they suck you like a lemon...be sure you want them 'cause they are forever!
Again, people are stupid.

 

[JVL1018]

Well we waited 7 years to have kids, so I got that question A LOT!
I just said not yet, we're not ready. It was pretty much always accepted and that was the end of it.
It didn't bother me at all, people are just making conversation I guess.

 

[suzannen]

Yes, unfortunately this pattern will happen for life:

The first baby is greeted with - when are you having a second?
After your 2nd child, if your 2 children happen to be either two boys or two girls, then they ask - are you trying for a girl now (or a boy, if you have girls).
If you have twins - did you have fertility treatments?
Eventually, if you have 5 children, you will be asked - aren't you done having children?

And, then as your children grow - they'll want to know are they walking; how many teeth; what school they are going to; what are their grades; what sports are they playing; what college; are they doctors; lawyers...?

And, if you're lucky, they'll veer off every so often to ask you when you are going to buy a house?

Ain't life grand?

[Edited to add: I have two children 14 years apart from 2 marriages. I always get asked if my youngest DD "was an accident?"]

 

[2binak]

My comeback was always, "When I'm done being selfish." Worked like a charm!!!! No one ever questioned me any further after hearing that. Oh and my mother's favorite comeback when people asked about DH & I having kids was, "They have the dog. She's their kid." Again, no one questioned any further after that. I think both answers are so odd (but true) that most people just didn't know what to say next. We have a 2 yr old DD now so now we get "When are you having the next one?" We're not having another (not by choice) so we tell them that DD will be an only and if they ask why we tell them why.

 

[Robinrs]

Comebacks?

Ever hear that you cannot control people but the way you REACT to them?

Ignore it. My sister's youngest child was 18 when I had my first. Imagine how many years I heard it!

 

[DawnCt1]

So now that I'm getting married, the next question that people ask, after 'when's the date' is, 'when are you going to start trying for a child'?

It's going to be awhile folks! And then when I tell them later on, they always roll their eyes and say, you're going to have a honeymoon baby!

Why can't others mind their own business? It's getting really old.

If you have any good comebacks, I'll take 'em.

They are just plucking your nerves. Perhaps look at them blankly and say, "Why would you think that?

 

[DawnCt1]

Just wait! When you do finally have kids, you'll barely be home from the delivery before someone's going to ask when you are going to have the next one! And then they start in on the kids! "is he crawling/walking/talking yet?" And so on and so on.

Don't take it personally. They don't really CARE when you are doing anything...it's just to make conversation and to have something to say. Whatever your response, unless you say you are doing it exactly the way they did, will be wrong and they'll get to tell you their story about why their way is best! . You could skip the admonishments and just ask what they think you should do! Lol

Then after a while they will say, "Your pregnant AGAIN!!!!????

 

[pigletgirl]

Hmmm.

I guess I need to buck up and ignore. Its hard to though!