I'm heartbroken

[Pugdog007]

Wow I'm kinda in the same boat. He already left though. Right before Christmas. I was willing to work it out... he thought it was too late. It really stinks. Hugs to you and everyone else going through this right now.

 

[schnerk]

No advice, Just hugs.

 

[sorcerormickey]

 

[Punkin's Mom]

Wow I'm kinda in the same boat. He already left though. Right before Christmas. I was willing to work it out... he thought it was too late. It really stinks. Hugs to you and everyone else going through this right now.

I'm really sorry - especially right before Christmas. It's amazing how when you feel like you're the only person going through something...

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My ex-husband and I were the same. We didn't love each other anymore, but we didn't hate each other either. We never fought or anything. In a way, I almost wish we HAD hated each other...I think the breakup would have actually been easier to deal with in that case. Good luck with everything and we're always here to listen.

 

[dizneegirls]

If you want it to work out, don't give up yet

 

[Mrs Quackmore Duck]

 

[DisnyMama]

I am very sorry that you are going through this. As a divorced mom I have to say please, please give it everything you've got before you guys make that big 'D' decision as it was one of the most difficult times in my life. Additionally, have you two been to marriage counselling to see if a third party could try and help with the issues in your marriage? Regardless, should you decide that you need to make the break definatley have your own attorney to protect "your" interests and those of your children. I know you may trust your husband and everything may seem fine but I can guarantee that in any divorce, regardless, he will protect his own interest first. I'm not trying to speak poorly of your husband it's just the facts of life when it comes to divorce between two parties regardless whether they are civil or not. I wish you all the best and your children will be ok if they see that you are ok.

 

[JennaTX]

I met my DH in high school, and we just celebrated our 17th anniversary.

I completely understand what you mean by

"we been together forever and been through a lot" kind of love.

My advice to you would be to fight for your marriage. I know in the years DH and I have been together, there have been times where for one of us it got to be "routine" and not the love that the other needed. But whenever that has happened, the other has not given up.

Added to the fact that you just lost your father, I am so sorry for your loss you seem to know that this is an emotional time for you.

If you need to then seperate, like another poster suggested, this might make both of you realize how much you do love/care for the other.

If you can't work it out, then know that there are many people here to help you through this!

 

[Punkin's Mom]

Additionally, have you two been to marriage counselling to see if a third party could try and help with the issues in your marriage?

We have been to a therapist for a couple of months now, but unfortunately I don't think it was a good fit. I feel like it might have just been a waste of time and I wish we had tried someone else. If we decide to proceed, we'll definately find a new therapist.

 

[ScorpioJeni]

Have you tried reading the book "His Needs, Her Needs" together. It might give you both some insight as to what you should be doing differently for each other.

If the counseling and everything else doesn't work out get yourself a lawyer to help you protect yourself and your kids.

 

[Punkin's Mom]

Have you tried reading the book "His Needs, Her Needs" together. It might give you both some insight as to what you should be doing differently for each other.

I've tried to get him to read a book that I thought really highlighted our problems, but he's just not that kind of guy. The language and illustrations in those kinds of books are just too cheesy for him.

I mentioned a couples workshop to him. It's in Seattle and is giving by the same guy that wrote the book it like. I might try to bring that up again.

 

[Minniespal]

I hope that you can get things back on track

 

[ButchJohnson]

Before you make it final I would just suggest you may want to just try a long "vacation" away from each other for say like 3 to 6 months and re-assess things at that point. Sometimes a long break away from each other may put things back into perspective since you both could just be suffering from burn out.

 

[sweetspicy]

I hope he agrees to the workshop. Good luck to you all.

 

[Melisa1]

Hope everything works out for you

 

[ScorpioJeni]

I've tried to get him to read a book that I thought really highlighted our problems, but he's just not that kind of guy. The language and illustrations in those kinds of books are just too cheesy for him.

I mentioned a couples workshop to him. It's in Seattle and is giving by the same guy that wrote the book it like. I might try to bring that up again.

My ex didn't go for the counseling thing or want to read the books either (I did and I got a lot out of them). He thinks that self-help is for losers. Well IMO he's the loser because I was willing to fight for our marriage and figure things out and he wasn't. Now 2 years later he realizes the mistake he made and wishes he'd worked on things with me instead of filing for divorce.

I really sincerly hope that you both can work this out.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Have you tried counseling?

 

[Pigeon]

I hope you can get him to try counselling. I've been married 25 years, to someone I met when I was 17. All marriages go through different phases, and it sounds to me like you have a possibility to make things OK if your dh is willing to work on it. I'm very sorry you are going through this.

 

[N&B'smom]

Hope that things will start looking up and he will decide to TRY to make things work. I'm thinking of you.

Shelby