If you've ever thrown a kid's birthday party....

[Mickeys.friend]

What has been your experience with parents RSVP-ing?? I have not had a "party for friends/classmates" for any of my kids in a few years and I do not understand this. The RSVP date for my daughter's party is Thursday and today is Tuesday....I have not received 1 RSVP yet! I was hoping to not have to get everything last minute, but I guess that's what I will have to do. Is this how it is today...parents waiting until the last minute? I can't imagine "none" of my daughter's classmates are going....She is a very friendly, well liked kid. Oh well...I guess I will get all the calls on Thursday....
LIZ

 

[Mommyto2Princesses]

When my daughter turned 4, an hour before the party was to begin, we loaded the car about to head to Chuck E Cheese. NO ONE had RSVP'd. NO ONE!!!!! Just before putting my DD into the car, one mom called for directions - so we decided we better not leave the house. Three girls showed up -

All this to say, NO ONE RSVP's around here!

Better plan for atleast half of your invited guests to show up!

 

[bubba]

Unfortunately, this happens every year with both my boys' parties. If I haven't heard from parents by the RSVP deadline, I usually grab them in the schoolyard or assume the kids aren't coming. A couple times I've just had the kids show up without RSVP'ing and once a sibling came along. I've learned to have a couple extra loot bags just in case !

 

[Mickeys.friend]

When my daughter turned 4, an hour before the party was to begin, we loaded the car about to head to Chuck E Cheese. NO ONE had RSVP'd. NO ONE!!!!! Just before putting my DD into the car, one mom called for directions - so we decided we better not leave the house. Three girls showed up -

Oh my! Are you saying that since no one RSVP'd you decided to go to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate instead...That is crazy! What are parents thinking? The Birthday kids parents just have everything for a party laying around and do not have to plan?! Unbelievable and rude. I would never do that to someone...I do have confirmation from the neighbor kids on the block, so i will just plan for them plus a few more and see what happens! Thanks!
LIZ

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

Moving to the Community Board.

My experience has been mixed. I think that some people don't realize that R.S.V.P. does not mean "regrets only". Many only call when they cannot attend.

 

[Earstou]

I invited my ds's entire class to a party at the skating rink. I only had one parent rsvp, and she told me they would be arriving late. I had 9 kids show out of 17!
The parties where it was important to know numbers, i would call those who didn't respond.

 

[Darsa]

Agreed; I've actually had parents mention that they DIDN'T RSVP because their child was going to be there. So yeah, I learned to re-word the invites; rather than using "RSVP" I use something like "Let us know if you can come!" and give a couple of phone numbers AND an email address.

 

[acomasdiaz]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. It happens to me every year. I usually end up having to either email or call some people. I think it's very rude to not let someone know whether you are coming or not.

Good luck getting the replies. I hope the party day is great and goes smoothly.

 

[bubba]

I agree Darsa ! I've gotten a much better response when I include my email address.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, this is how it is.

That is why you only invite people you know and/or have the phone numbers too.

 

[EthansMom]

I had practically no one call me to RSVP when I used paper invitations. I used electronic invitations (free on American Greetings website) one year and got about a 90% reply rate.

Our school prints a school directory with the contact information for each family. I've learned to make sure I have phone numbers for every child before I write out the invitations. I then print a reply date that is a couple days before the necessary date for the location and will call each household from whom I haven't gotten a reply to doublecheck if their child will be attending.

You wouldn't believe the number of people who get the invitation, set it aside, and completely forget about it. Not only does calling to check on the RSVP status help get firm numbers for the party, but it's also increased the number of kids that we actually get showing up to the party.

 

[Harters2WDW]

I have the same problem right now. Our RSVP date is Friday and I have heard from two parents out of 10. Ugh! So I am going to send some emails since I need a headcount!

Good luck! It's frustrating!

 

[Mickeys.friend]

Thanks for all the replies....I invited over 40 children to this party because it's in my church hall. It is a dance party for 8 year olds (a few younger)., and there is no particular theme. So far I have about 11 kids...and they are family and neighbors. My daughter's public school does not allow parents to have other parent's phone numbers...there is no form that goes out at the start of the year asking for permission to be on a list. I only received a class list from the teacher. My invitations were paper and I did give 2 numbers and an email. I even put that siblings were welcome, but to kindly let me know prior to the party that you were bringing them. And still....no replies. Oh well....
LIZ

 

[scouthawkk]

DS's party was Sept. 19th. Invites went out on the 8th. He invited 10 kids. Of the 10, 2 parents called on the 17th to say they'd be there, and 2 called on the 18th (1 of which thought his ex had already called, and was just double checking that we knew the kid would be there). One other told DS in class that he for sure wouldn't be there because he had a family party to go to. 7 of the 10 actually showed up, and 1 brought his little brother, who had not been invited-he was not one whose parents had called. So, we had 4 calls, 3 plus a tag-a-long show without calling, 1 no given in class and 2 that we heard nothing from at all. In this area, that is pretty good, and seems to have been the norm for the 3 years I have been doing parties for DS.

I am one that will aways call, whether DS can make it or not. And usually within a day or so of the invite before the RSVP date arrives. I think there is one party that he was invited to that we got so busy I forgot, but the mom called me, because she knew it wasn't like me not to call. And I recently found out that we received an invite in the mail over the summer for a party that I never saw (DH isn't good at telling me when things come-good thing I know when bills are due and go hunting if I haven't seen them). But I did call an appologize for not responding and having missed the party. I felt bad!!!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

I assume the party is this weekend - call the parents. They might've forgotten, the invitation might've been lost. I always end up calling a few here. My advice is to send out invitations no more than 2 weeks before a party. I have a big family, and there's no way I'm going to RSVP more than a week in advance, because I don't know what is coming up (a classmates party is on the low end of my social ladder), and if I put it aside, I tend to forget about it.

 

[Becky2005]

Unfortunately, this is a big thing *every* year. I'm on some parenting boards and it always seems to pop up. There have been different tricks used each year to get people to call.

One is to include your e-mail address. That's been hit or miss for me.

I think you are going to have to wait until Thursday. THEN and as rude as this is, depending on where the party is -- I have been known to CALL people and ask if they are coming or not. Although, after 1 year of finding out an invitation truly did get lost in the mail, another mom didn't even see the invitation (we think it got mixed in with Christmas cards) -- I got the "party? What party?" & you could tell she was sincere (or a good actress but I've had that happen to me before too), etc... The first few times I felt guilty about doing that but no more.

Especially if I'm doing a head count, pay per person place. If I'm doing it at home, I'm not so concerned. I just make the call as if I'm concerned that they may not have received the invitation -- which truly IS the case.

The one that got lost in the mail, ended up showing up in my mail box 2 weeks after the party with "undeliverable" on it, even after I checked the address but they had physically moved their house & had been having issues with it being a brand new address. I did finally figure it all out later on what happened. It was one of DD's good friends at the time so we were surprised when we didn't get the RSVP back.

Good Luck! I know waiting for the count is always stressful for planning.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

We are having a party at the Arboretum on the 11th, and I am holding the entry tickets hostage for RSVPs.

I always call, either way, and it bugs me others don't.

 

[surfergirl602]

What has been your experience with parents RSVP-ing?? I have not had a "party for friends/classmates" for any of my kids in a few years and I do not understand this. The RSVP date for my daughter's party is Thursday and today is Tuesday....I have not received 1 RSVP yet! I was hoping to not have to get everything last minute, but I guess that's what I will have to do. Is this how it is today...parents waiting until the last minute? I can't imagine "none" of my daughter's classmates are going....She is a very friendly, well liked kid. Oh well...I guess I will get all the calls on Thursday....
LIZ

We just had my dd7's birthday party. We gave out invitations to her entire class, and two days before her party, one person rsvp'd. This person didn't even come. Two boys that didn't rsvp came, that was all. I bought all the favors, a big cake, etc. because there are 20 kids in her class. I've never seen my DD so upset and heartbroken before. It was heartbreaking to watch. She asked, "When are the rest of my friends coming?"

 

[RadioNate]

It is my experience that people don't RSVP. Or they RSVP and say they are coming and don't show up. Or they RSVP and say they can't make it and then they do show up...with siblings in tow.

RSVPs are always so much of a disaster I stopped throwing parties.

I do think adding an email is a GREAT idea. It has always helped me actually get RSVPs.

 

[pandora174]

We just had my dd7's birthday party. We gave out invitations to her entire class, and two days before her party, one person rsvp'd. This person didn't even come. Two boys that didn't rsvp came, that was all. I bought all the favors, a big cake, etc. because there are 20 kids in her class. I've never seen my DD so upset and heartbroken before. It was heartbreaking to watch. She asked, "When are the rest of my friends coming?"

That's my worst fear as well. This year we're doing the first classmate party. His class is 10 kids. We're having it at Dandee Bear (like Chuckee Cheese). I know at least 4 kids always go to "all" the b-day parties like my DS does. But my fear is they won't come & he will be totally heartbroken. So I'm inviting 2 friends kids that I know will come but he "really" wants his classmates to go. If I can have 5 to 6 kids DS will be happy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed