If you think the question is tough...try living this one!

[mindy5648]

Alright ladies...buckle your seat belts while I try to explain this one. So becuase I have a typical american family where my parents are divorced and do not get along...I have my moms second husband who is also still in my life. She has been married 3 times. The first time obviously to my biological dad, second time to a man named Larry who helped raise me for 12 years and she is now married to a man that I have known my entire life. So here comes to big questions. How do I have all my dads be apart of the ceremony without having to have a relay race down the aisle? Also my dad doesnt feel that they really should be as much apart of the wedding as I want them to be. Also my mom would like for my current step dad to wear a tux and I would like my second dad in a tux as well. He is the type of man that doesnt want to step on anyone's toes. I just dont know how to dress my bio dad, ex-step and current step dads. If anyone can shed some light on these situations I would REALLY apprecaite it!!!!!!!!

 

[29apr00]

Wow, what a situation. Sorry you have to deal with this now. I would think if you have Bio-dad be the one to stand and do the whole "Give this woman" part, and have current step-dad walk you down the aisle, and note ex-step dad in the program somehow? I mean, you could have step dad and ex step dad both walk you down the aisle if you wanted, one on each side. It's been done before in situations like this.

Or maybe it would be better to have bio dad and ex step dad walk you down the aisle, and current step dad give you away. Because he is supposed to say "her mother and I do" or something like that. So maybe that would "flow" better.

Sorry, i probably didn't help at all, did I?

You are a very lucky girl to have so many wonderful father's like this!!

 

[chancecaught]

Wow, this one would even make Emily Post scratch her head!

I think your biological Dad should be the one to walk you down the aisle. Perhaps your current step-dad could escort your Mom down the aisle and maybe have your former step-dad take part in the ceremony? Maybe do a reading, or something. He could also be the ring bearer, (I know he's not five, but who says only little kids can be ring bearers?) that could be a special way to include him.

 

[wendy46001]

My friend had a similar issue

she dressed all the dads the same (worked out easier)
she had dad she was closest to walk her down the isle (in her case is wasn’t bio dad) but had her other dads in the first row...they each got to kiss her at the alter and all together did the who gives this woman….came out very sweet

she picked three different songs for them to dance with but trimmed them down and had the dj mix them together ...so all the dads passed her around

Have to say they all get along mostly....and were each worried about not spoiling her big day

 

[DisWishes720]

In this situation you have to do what you feel is right. If your ex-step dad is the one that you feel closest with, and when you invision walking down the isle you see him at your side then that is the person to go with. I agree that they should probably be dressed the same way, and I can definitely see how it would be difficult for all them to see you decide on one over the other, but in the end you have to do what is most meaningful for you. Follow your gut! it normall works out the best in the end .

 

[kairainme]

Because I am going through this as well. (Same situation, moms been married 3 times, married to #3, #1, and 2 have new wives) I am having them walk in front of me, as couples with their wives, and stand up front and when asked who gives this woman, they say "we do".
Also on father daughter dance, I picked Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman which on each verse the man that was there for that part of my life is dancing with me.
They are all wearing the same tux.
The fairest thing and noones feelings are hurt

 

[mindy5648]

Thanks so much for ALL of your advice!!! I like the idea of having them all stand and say "we do" for who gives this woman to marry this man. However DH does not like the idea. We might end up going with that anyway. Dad #2 is not remarried and Dad #1 is...I think Dad# 2 and Mom#3 walking down together just seems wrong...lol The whole color sceme for the wedding is based on my 2 bothers...1 is in the navy and 1 is in the marines...and imagine that they have 2 different dads..lol. (1 is a half and 1 is a step) So we are going to have Dad #1 in marine blue vest and dads #2 and 3 in Navy becuase they are the dads of the navy brother. They are so close that you wouldnt be able to tell the differece..but I know that dad#1 wants to stand out from the others. AUGH!

 

[Swmhc]

I say let your mother walk you down the aisle ! She has been there from before you were born to now. Let her have the honor. My college roommate did just that to keep the dad's from feeling left out, hurt, angry or whatever, and it made perfect sense to me.

 

[BecBennett]

I say let your mother walk you down the aisle ! She has been there from before you were born to now. Let her have the honor. My college roommate did just that to keep the dad's from feeling left out, hurt, angry or whatever, and it made perfect sense to me.

I think that's a great idea! Or even walk down the aisle yourself. Give them each a dance or something where they all get the exact same thing as the other, that way no one will be thinking "I should be doing that..."

 

[ashley08]

Wow.. you definitely have a sticky situation there. I am in a similar boat.. my parent's are divorced and HATE each other. I half-way still talk to my biological father and plan on inviting him to the wedding. He has a new family and everything. If they want to come great, if not then that's fine too. My mom keeps telling me not to invite them and she hopes they don't come. My brother has zero relationship with our biological father and has even changed his name. My step-dad who has been around since I was 3 is walking me down the isle and has his name on the invitation. I'm worried about how my biological dad will take that, but he hasn't been around at all.. I am stuck in the middle and I hate it!! Why can't people just get along????????

Whew... sorry that got way off topic. I guess I just had to vent. Just be lucky that your family is nice to each other.

 

[tinkandonaldfans]

i completely understand! i have a dad issue too! my dbf's dad is more of a dad than bio dad(he lives in america and we live in uk) and i would prefer dbf's dad to walk me down the aisle. but the problem is that he didn't walk my dbf's sister down the aisle and i think it wouldn't go down well if he walks me down the aisle but didn't do it for his bio daughter!

its really confusing. my advice would be to keep it simple and do what makes you happy. if they have a problem then they should remember its your day not theirs. i also like the mother idea. might consider doing that myself!


let us know what you end up doing!