If you have kids and they trick or treat

[dclpluto]

About three and a half weeks to Halloween . If you have kids and they trick or treat take them trick or treat to see their grandparents. If you live within reasonable driving distance and your take your kids out for Halloween you have zero excuses where you can’t make it to your parents house and your spouses parents house if they are going to be home of course or maybe even their great grand parents. Don’t be like my son last year. If you did last year and are planning on it this year like you should good job if not do better. We see the grandkids at least once a week but Halloween is a different ballgame. Hopefully this post will change someone’s mind if they wasn’t going to take their kids to their parents house on Halloween.

 

[Disneylover99]

About three and a half weeks to Halloween . If you have kids and they trick or treat take them trick or treat to see their grandparents. If you live within reasonable driving distance and your take your kids out for Halloween you have zero excuses where you can’t make it to your parents house and your spouses parents house if they are going to be home of course or maybe even their great grand parents. Don’t be like my son last year. If you did last year and are planning on it this year like you should good job if not do better. We see the grandkids at least once a week but Halloween is a different ballgame. Hopefully this post will change someone’s mind if they wasn’t going to take their kids to their parents house on Halloween.

I mean, that sounds like an issue you have with your son.

Not all grandparents want their grandchildren to come over on Halloween or maybe they would like an invitation over to their grandkid’s house. Better to discuss it with them ahead of time and not assume.

My parents liked to hide in their house in the dark on Halloween. lol.

 

[Southernmiss]

Could you trick or treat with them?

 

[sam_gordon]

Depends on the definition of "reasonable distance". Around here, T/T is limited to 6-8. A 20 minute drive to the grandparents is 45 min RT, you've just taken away 1/2 of T/T. And 6es, depending on the size of the neighborhood, that can make a difference.

Before you say "Take them earlier", some people don't get off work until 5. Get home, change clothes, maybe grab a bite to eat, and it's time to go T/T.

How about the GRANDPARENTS say "We'd love to see the kids in their costume. How about we come over, hand out candy at your place and both mom & dad can go with the kids?". Win-win.

 

[design_mom]

My grandparents all died before I was born, but my dad would always take us to see his aunts after trick-or-treat. (We'd always be late, after the porch light had been turned off... and they'd answer the door and say "I'm so sorry. We're out of candy!" Of course, they'd saved some for us... but I still am not 100% sure whether they were teasing us, or didn't recognize us!

When my kids were little, my parents came over to our house (they didn't get many trick-or-treaters at theirs) and passed out candy while we walked around with our kids.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

About three and a half weeks to Halloween . If you have kids and they trick or treat take them trick or treat to see their grandparents. If you live within reasonable driving distance and your take your kids out for Halloween you have zero excuses where you can’t make it to your parents house and your spouses parents house if they are going to be home of course or maybe even their great grand parents. Don’t be like my son last year. If you did last year and are planning on it this year like you should good job if not do better. We see the grandkids at least once a week but Halloween is a different ballgame. Hopefully this post will change someone’s mind if they wasn’t going to take their kids to their parents house on Halloween.

When our kids were young, we saw the grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins once a week. Most of them live about 45 minutes away (in southern CA traffic). And they wear their Halloween costumes on the the two visits closest to Halloween.

We're not fond of "let's go trick or treating in XXX neighborhood" (that is not where they live). We get so many kids obviously NOT from our neighborhood (I'm looking at you High School kids) that insist on still ringing our doorbell after we've turned off the porch light and removed the Halloween decorations that I'm somewhat anti trick or treating. But I continue to do it for the little ones that I can recognize from the neighborhood.

 

[mjkacmom]

My parents lived 1/2 mile from us. We live 4 houses away the the most popular TOT street in town. Portions get shut down to vehicle traffic and the town provides lights. Once the kids get tom5th grade or so they go off with their friends, dads dragged coolers of beer (and water) with them with younger kids, it’s a social for parents. My parents always came to the elementary afternoon Halloween parade, and did some TOT with the kids. At some point they’d bring some of our kids to their street to TOT (my kids thought of their house as a second home, which it certainly was, they had rooms, toys, clothes, I never had to pack anything for sleepovers). My parents never missed a game, performance, awards ceremony, graduation- they put in 110% and received that much back from our 5 kids.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

This sounds less like an appropriate thread on Disboards and more like you need to have a conversation with your son to explain that you would love to see the kids on Halloween.

What's your definition of reasonable distance?????
5 minutes. 10 MAX would be mine when we are talking about loading the kids in the car when all they want to do is start trick or treating.
My grandparents lived 40 minutes away. That's extremely unreasonable imo.

Maybe you could swing by his house before they go out to trick or treat.

Maybe he doesn't realize quite how important it is to you.

Maybe they just don't have enough time as trick or treating is generally not that long and half the time it starts prior to when many parents with a 9 to 5 job can get home and get their kids ready. (Our area is 4-7pm so I recall when I was younger my mom wouldn't get home until 5pm and I wouldn't be totally ready to go until closer to 6pm when makeup etc was involved)

Bottom line is if its important to you then be proactive not just feel entitled and expect it.

 

[CdnCarrie]

My kids are way past that age. Not once did we take them to the grandparents. Sorry.
I work full time. Halloween on a school night. Not happening.

You’re retired you come over here.
You sound very entitled.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

About three and a half weeks to Halloween . If you have kids and they trick or treat take them trick or treat to see their grandparents. If you live within reasonable driving distance and your take your kids out for Halloween you have zero excuses where you can’t make it to your parents house and your spouses parents house if they are going to be home of course or maybe even their great grand parents. Don’t be like my son last year. If you did last year and are planning on it this year like you should good job if not do better. We see the grandkids at least once a week but Halloween is a different ballgame. Hopefully this post will change someone’s mind if they wasn’t going to take their kids to their parents house on Halloween.

Wait, they prioritize the relationship enough to see you at least once a week and you are complaining if they don't come on Halloween? Which is more often than not a weeknight (this year and last) and they probably work full time jobs? That's....well to be honest....that's an unreasonable expectation. Is there anything preventing you from going to see them if seeing them in costume is that important? Not to mention, depending on the ages of the grandkids, schedules and expectations of what THEY want to do come into play. Halloween is about the kids, not grandma.

 

[_19disnA]

Suggest you have a discussion with your son if you feel slighted by not seeing them on Halloween. You might consider going to their house (as others have mentioned), help prepare dinner and/or assist with handing out candy, so the parents can walk with their children and see others they know from their neighborhood. Implying there is a single right/wrong way to handle this seems like an overly simplistic approach.

I can't recall ever going to visit our grandparents on Halloween, we saw them a lot during the year. No one ever felt slighted. The logistics of taking your children to see your grandparents on Halloween might not work. Going trick/treating is a one day holiday that many children enjoy and typically a rather short window (usually 6-8 pm) in most areas. Driving anywhere on Halloween takes a LOT longer due to all the people out walking. Grandparents who no longer work and are home alone all day, might assume things are far less complicated than they actually are. If on a school night, might still have homework and certainly need to keep to whatever weekday schedule they have for going to bed.

 

[greeneyedchick]

It's never been a priority for my kids to see their grandparents on Halloween. Nor was it that way when I was growing up. My parents don't seem to mind. They ask us to send them a picture in their costumes. My kids usually trick or treat with their friends. It's more of a friend holiday than a family one. Also, I avoid driving on Halloween. There's a lot of accidents that evening with people drinking and tons of pedestrians. Unless my parents lived in the same neighborhood, I wouldn't risk the drive.

 

[Southernmiss]

About three and a half weeks to Halloween . If you have kids and they trick or treat take them trick or treat to see their grandparents. If you live within reasonable driving distance and your take your kids out for Halloween you have zero excuses where you can’t make it to your parents house and your spouses parents house if they are going to be home of course or maybe even their great grand parents. Don’t be like my son last year. If you did last year and are planning on it this year like you should good job if not do better. We see the grandkids at least once a week but Halloween is a different ballgame. Hopefully this post will change someone’s mind if they wasn’t going to take their kids to their parents house on Halloween.

Some communities start activities now for families and kids to trunk or treat and wear their costumes.

Maybe volunteer to take the kids to one of these events and give the parents a day or weekend to themselves.

Win for everyone

 

[Pooh2]

One of our son's family lives an hour away so we don't see them on Halloween but go down the weekend before to deliver treat bags.
Our other son lives in the sticks and brings the kids here to trick or treat.
Trick or treat is so short here that running around to drive to visit would not be practical so we take the initiative to get involved without stressing out the busy parents.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I understand why you'd like them to come, but I also try really hard not to drive after dark on Halloween because I'm so worried about hitting a kid.

Is there any way you could have a little Halloween party for the grandkids on the weekend before or after?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Halloween can be a lot of work for parents, especially working parents. When my kids were young I would leave work early just so we could have a good dinner, get dressed, maybe hand out candy for a bit and trick or treat. Adding in a car ride to two sets of grandparents would be insanity. Not to mention upset kids that want to trick or treat but are instead stuck in a car.

Grandparents can go and see their grandkids at their home or trick or treat with them.

 

[indimom]

We always took our kids to the grandparents and great-grandparents for Halloween. However, it wasn't always "on" Halloween. We took them when it suited us, even if that was the weekend before or after. The kids loved it, the grands loved it. Win. Win.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

How about the GRANDPARENTS say "We'd love to see the kids in their costume. How about we come over, hand out candy at your place and both mom & dad can go with the kids?". Win-win.

When my kids were little, my parents came over to our house (they didn't get many trick-or-treaters at theirs) and passed out candy while we walked around with our kids.

This is what my parents always did when my kids were little. Now they're old enough they no longer trick or treat, but one of them still dresses up, and my parents still come over and have a nice Halloween themed meal with us and we all hand out the candy.

 

[BayouQueen]

It seems natural and safer for the kids to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood. Our grandkids are close by. Sometimes we join them for awhile. Sometimes we just stay home and give out candy.

 

[Frwinkley]

Wow...I never want to be that grandparent.

We make no demands; I feel like that's the easiest way to alienate everyone.

We are retired; my daughter and son-in-law work full-time. We do everything we can to make their lives easier. It's a mutually respectful relationship.