If you cant afford the funeral-what are your options

[dis-happy]

Here's some info from the Costco website:


Q: Will funeral homes accept the casket that we order?

Yes, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to accept any casket purchased from an outside source. However it is recommended that the purchaser notify the funeral home of their Costco.com casket order within 1 business day.



Currently, caskets can only be purchased from and shipped to addresses in the following states: Arizona, California, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.

 

[sahm1000]

Why is quality a factor? Assuming it looks OK for the wake and get the deceased where they need to go, what does it really matter?

The ones my father looked at had some flaws in them. They were made to look like caskets from the Batesville Casket Company but things weren't quite right. The edges weren't finished right, the fabric wasn't well sewn on the inside, etc. Not big things (it wasn't going to fall apart or anything) but they just weren't quite right. For some people who do care about caskets it would be a problem. Many people don't want visitations, but others do want them and will have large crowds attend and these types of things are important. And really the price difference wasn't hugely dramatic. And honestly, my father is one of those people who would prefer to buy American whenever possible.

Here's some info from the Costco website:


Q: Will funeral homes accept the casket that we order?

Yes, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to accept any casket purchased from an outside source. However it is recommended that the purchaser notify the funeral home of their Costco.com casket order within 1 business day.



Currently, caskets can only be purchased from and shipped to addresses in the following states: Arizona, California, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.

Like I said before, most funeral homes do not make much, if any profit on caskets and vaults. They are providing a service which is where their profits are. With the rise of places such as Costco and others offering caskets their business has changed.

 

[hereyago]

What about them donating the person's body to science? After the body has helped, then you can get the ashes.

 

[neatokimmo]

My Dad's cremation, church service and columbarium (sp?) space = $3591.

The funeral home who handled the cremation would have taken payments if needed. The church is taking payments for the $1620 wall space.

 

[dis-happy]

Like I said before, most funeral homes do not make much, if any profit on caskets and vaults. They are providing a service which is where their profits are. With the rise of places such as Costco and others offering caskets their business has changed.

Yeah, I understand (and not denying that funeral homes need to make a profit for what they provide too); just included the FTC quote that shows people are allowed to bring in an outside casket. Even on the Costco website I was surprised to see how much those caskets still cost though! Cremate me. I plan to be buried in Hilton Head, at the pretty cemetary in Sea Pines. Just hope that the rising waters don't flood me out too soon!!!

 

[Halloweenqueen]

How about a natural burial? That's my plan. They are much cheaper than traditional burials.

 

[SeansMom]

I got a little sad reading so stopped after a bit. The cheapest way to go that I hadn't seen mentioned was donation of the body to science. As a medical person, I would say this is beyond a valuable and noble way. The body (in my belief system) is a temporary shell, but each person needs to sort that one out on their own.
Anyway, that just leaves a service, which can be performed modestly in church, funeral chapel, or home.

 

[AntePrincess]

How about a natural burial? That's my plan. They are much cheaper than traditional burials.

True natural burial, such as in a shroud or pine box on your own land (which is generally legal with proper paperwork), is the cheapest option of all and also the greenest. Even cremation has a carbon footprint.

 

[crisi]

True natural burial, such as in a shroud or pine box on your own land (which is generally legal with proper paperwork), is the cheapest option of all and also the greenest. Even cremation has a carbon footprint.

Its also illegal in most states.

 

[FINFAN]

I got a little sad reading so stopped after a bit. The cheapest way to go that I hadn't seen mentioned was donation of the body to science. As a medical person, I would say this is beyond a valuable and noble way. The body (in my belief system) is a temporary shell, but each person needs to sort that one out on their own.
Anyway, that just leaves a service, which can be performed modestly in church, funeral chapel, or home.

This is what my DD has expressed as her wishes..and to have even more TMI, she requested if there are any unusable parts, please cremate them, as I do not want to get graphic here, do you know what happens to the parts science cannot use? She is alos an organ donor, does that negate being able to donate to science? Sorry to hijack..and as her mom never thought I would be the one worrying about her wishes (obviously hoping to go first) but, after having grey areas with my Dad's wishes a few months ago, I have learned to get everything in writing and cover every "what if".

 

[AntePrincess]

Its also illegal in most states.

Transporting a body without a permit is illegal in most states, burying an unembalmed body without a vault with the proper paperwork, however, is legal in most. And, yes, you can bury on your own property, many states have a clause to permit just this with no extra fuss, others require some paperwork to become a cemetery. Minnesota has been an exception, but those laws are being challenged in the legislature as we speak.

 

[Arielle22]

I can address this -- a little bit. (DH is a WC defense attorney, but I won't presume to speak on matters of law.) In most cases of a work-related death, there will be a delay of several weeks while the case is processed. A fatality is a big case and may go to trial if the employer does not wish to settle, and if there is a trial it will be probable that expert witnesses will be brought in, which again, takes time while depositions are done, etc. I know that in DH's practice, the majority of settlements are paid out somewhere from 4-6 months after the injury.

The injured man (and his family) should have an attorney representing their interests. This plaintiff's attorney will take his/her pay out of whatever settlement/award is reached, normally a 25-30% cut of the total payout. However, it is not absolutely required that they have an attorney of their own; DH deals with unrepresented plaintiffs every day (and I will point out here that he is impeccably ethical, and recommends fair settlements in those cases, too. However, it is up to the employer and their insurer to act upon his recommendation. However, he greatly prefers dealing with another attorney than dealing directly with the claimant.)

If your friend dies, if at all possible, the widow should have someone else deal with pricing funerals, and should get several quotes. It's better for a family friend to do these negotiations, as they are not so grief-stricken and overwhelmed. Go to homes with different clienteles -- independent and minority-owned funeral homes often will be more reasonably priced. Also, generally the poorer the clientele, the more likely it is that they will agree to arrange payment plans. As has been said, you can do direct cremation and bypass the funeral director, having your church help you with the services.

Speaking as a H/R Mgr, even a run of the mill worker's comp case takes weeks to start paying costs. For income replacement checks to begin, the company has to provide several forms and proof to the claim rep which documents wages received for 13 weeks prior to the accident. Then the claim rep has to submit paperwork to start checks being sent.

As someone who has arrranged several funerals, I can tell you that the funeral home will require money up front to open the grave. When my mom died, we signed over rights to her insurance policy to the funeral home and then each child (there are 8 of us) paid their remaining portion.

 

[pearlieq]

The cheapest way to go that I hadn't seen mentioned was donation of the body to science.

It's been brought up a few times now. I also think it's wonderful, but it's not an option for many people. There are fairly stringent standards about body shape/size and what conditions are acceptable.

Most big/tall/heavy people won't be able to do it, nor will anyone with any kind of infectious disease.

There's also the matter of having a school or donation organization in the area that has capacity. That isn't always the case.

So, while I would definitley recommend people to consider making an anatomical gift, there needs to be a contingency plan in case it doesn't work out.

 

[Purseval]

I know several people have mentioned cremation societies as a possibility. Personally, I would never use one of them.

All the things you said to diss anything else besides your family's business, wouldn't some other family or society be saying the same things about you?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I got a little sad reading so stopped after a bit. The cheapest way to go that I hadn't seen mentioned was donation of the body to science. As a medical person, I would say this is beyond a valuable and noble way.

Actually, I think it was mentioned several times - probably not emphasized, but mentioned.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

My paternal side of the family always donated their bodies. We had a lot of trouble getting my Grandfather returned and cremated. It turned me off to the whole idea.

A natural burial is often called a green burial. You can either be buried in a shroud or a bio-degradable container. You are buried in a nature preserve. Your "headstone" can be an engraved rock, etc.

Just google natural burial. There usually is one nearby. I think you must be buried in your state. The body would have to be embalmed if it crossed state lines, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

 

[dzorn]

As the daughter to a funeral director and funeral home owner, what most of the previous posters have said is true, direct cremation will be the cheapest option. Someone mentioned that embalming is not required which is true in Illinois (where I am familiar with the laws) but can vary state by state. And burial must take place within 24 hours of death - otherwise the decomposition will be a health hazard. And no viewing of the person can take place.

I know several people have mentioned cremation societies as a possibility. Personally, I would never use one of them. About 20 years ago when my father saw that cremation was rising in popularity he had a crematory built at one of his funeral homes. He has always taken excellent care of all of his families that he has served and did not want to take the risk of someone else doing the cremation and making a mistake with ashes (such as getting the wrong ashes back, or multiple cremations taking place at the same time). I know that in the past there have been many unscrupulous crematories and funeral homes that have had bodies stacked up waiting to be cremated for long periods of time - we've all seen the awful news stories regarding these. For this reason, I would suggest that the price difference between a cremation society and a funeral home with a crematory might be worth it to you for the peace of mind. And usually the funeral home prices will be higher than others b/c they are paying the mortgage on a whole funeral home with viewing areas and parking lot as opposed to just a crematory.

And someone else mentioned using Costco to buy a casket as being cheaper. Maybe, but maybe not too. And like many otherg things - you often get what you are paying for - I know my father looked into less expensive caskets being made in China and didn't find the quality to be the same. And many funeral homes have little, if any profit built into caskets, urns and vaults. They are funeral directors offering a service and that is where their profits are made - not reselling a product. And many funeral homes will not allow another casket to be brought into their funeral home. Those would be breaking the law.

And please also don't forget when you are describing funeral directors that they are also members of your community. My father has worked very hard for the town where I am from. He raised enough money for 20 police officers to purchase bullet proof vests (often not provided by the police dept.), donated his time in Rotary Club for all sorts or projects, worked for Habitat for Humanity, painted houses for the Bucket Brigade, is a member of our church board, etc. For everything he has gained, he has given back greatly to our community - do those cremation societies do the same?

Denise in MI

 

[dreamin_disney]

I hope things work out for your family. This has really got me thinking, that I mentioned this to Dh this morning. We are 37 so he was shocked to hear this at 6:00am.

When my mom was ill with cancer , she made an appt to set up a burial package. It was hard for us especially her. She made my sister and I go with her. When we went to the office to discuss it and once we went to look at the caskets she pointed to a white with gold one and walked out. She said choose whatever. It was very hard since she had cancer. Once we looked at the plots she picked her spot. She started a payment plan and made payments. She didnt want us to deal with the stress of losing her plus figuring out how to pay for it all. A few days before she passed my Brother gave me some money to pay the remaining balance and she died a few days later. She did not want to put this burden on us so when the finaly payment was made she was able to go in peace. All I had to do was go sign papers and go over all the final list to make sure all was in order. Let me tell you it , was stress free for us not having to make last minute decsions or coming up with the money.

This is something we should all take care of now so our loved ones dont have to.

I hope things work out for your family.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I have considered donating my body to the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee. I know it sounds gross, but they study the decomposition of bodies in different ways that can help the justice system. Just another way to donate to science and be helpful to the whole community.

My mom bought 2 plots (1 for herself and 1 for me) after my grandfather passed away suddenly and I added one when I got married, so those are paid for. That was nice when she passed away suddenly in 2008. Her funeral with no frills was $10,000, but luckily she was a retired DoD employee and had plenty of insurance money to cover it. I had to pay for her headstone and having it put down, but since I have a friend that pre-arranges funerals, she helped me get a great deal. I bought 3 marble headstones and had them put down for $2500.

I have been thinking about this also, since I know DH would be too grief stricken to handle the arrangements. I don't want anything fancy and I'm not sure I want a funeral either, but I am not ready to make that decision, which I know I need to do.

Suzanne

 

[sahm1000]

All the things you said to diss anything else besides your family's business, wouldn't some other family or society be saying the same things about you?

Most businesses in general (and I'm speaking about all types of businesses) are good businesses and do good work. But we all know there are people who are unscrupulous in every line of work whether it be the grocery store not checking expiration dates on baby formula, or the car mechanic who charges you for something that wasn't necessary. It happens and it's not right. But really, do you want to take that chance with your loved one? By shipping them off to a place that is nothing but a factory that does cremations? I, personally and first hand, know what happens in my family's business. And honestly, like anything else, word gets around about other businesses who don't do things the way they ought to be done. My father would never speak badly about his main competition in our town b/c he has heard that they are a good funeral home and do things the right way also. But that wasn't the case for another funeral home in town who was not really a very big competitor for him and that man was eventually arrested. It unfortunately happens in all areas. And it is never right. I personally believe that after a person dies, what is left is just a shell. But that is my loved ones' shell - and I want it treated correctly and respectfully. And just so no one misunderstands - I would never suggest that someone buy a bigger funeral than they need or can afford. If all that can be afforded is a state aid funeral (where the state pays for it) then that is fine and appropriate. I would never suggest that anyone go into debt to pay for a funeral service.


Denise - I was speaking of the states who do not mandate that caskets be allowed in.