I was over sensetive and I know it

tinkerbellandeeyor

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
The question is how do I fix it

The story

So after some difficulty we finally get to my condo all the driver could say in a not so nice matter is gee it must be nice to live in this area I was not going to point out the obvious that my family picked it because I dont drive so being as close to everything is needed

But I have used lyft for over a year and never has a driver given me a hard time about where I live

He might have been trying to make conversation and I missed it

But all i heard was criticism from the moment I got in the car to the moment I was droped off

So I gave him 3 out of 5 stars is their anyway to fix it or in the future give my self a cooling of period before rating and tipping him
 

JimMIA

There's more to life than mice...
Joined
Feb 16, 2005
But all i heard was criticism from the moment I got in the car to the moment I was droped off

So I gave him 3 out of 5 stars is their anyway to fix it or in the future give my self a cooling of period before rating and tipping him
Tink, if that was the atmosphere of your ride, 3 stars is VERY generous. There is no excuse for a driver acting like that toward a customer..

I would have given him 1 star and reported him to Lyft.

In the future, you don't have to do your rating right away. You will get an email receipt for the ride, and on that receipt email will be a link to rate the driver. If you choose to do so, you will be presented with a screen where you can enter a tip.

But don't go back later and tip this insulting clown!
 
  • bumbershoot

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 5, 2007
    He said it was nice to live in your area. Is that an insult?

    After spending time in Europe I realized that I have a big house compared to many in the world, and I felt and feel weird about it, but by no means do I feel that I was criticized for it. I ended up feeling embarrassed; but that’s on me, not them.

    There might have been other things said, but I don’t understand the issue with the one thing you shared with us.


    (And even now I have to say that we got it for a relative song, and it was basically untouched since being built in 1960, so there are issues lol)
     

    Allison

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 27, 2005
    I don't know the answer about how to deal with how overly sensitive you are. It is good that you recognize it because you have posted many times about being upset or getting angry at people and then when certain points are made to you, you acknowledge your overreaction. This harms relationships and just makes it harder for you to get through the day because you are worrying about perceived slights that don't exist. Maybe talk to a counselor.
     

    Allison

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 27, 2005
    Tink, if that was the atmosphere of your ride, 3 stars is VERY generous. There is no excuse for a driver acting like that toward a customer..

    I would have given him 1 star and reported him to Lyft.
    Honestly, this poster does have a history of being overly sensitive. It would be a shame for a driver to get an undeserved low rating. I wasn't there, I don't know what happened but I appreciate her recognition that she may be part of the problem and might wait before giving a rating.
     

    JimMIA

    There's more to life than mice...
    Joined
    Feb 16, 2005
    I think OP has been going out of her way to give the driver the benefit of the doubt. I don't think she took one random comment and let that ruin her whole ride -- as she said, she got nothing but criticism from pickup to dropoff.

    Also one low rating is really not going to hurt the driver. If they get a string of 3-stars, that will hurt them -- but if that happens, they're obviously doing something wrong.

    She may be a little oversensitive, but I don't think she is the problem. I think the driver was the problem, she responded the right way, but she's a nice person and it bothered her.

    Lyft has recently raised rider fares and cut driver pay in Florida, so a lot of their drivers are upset. The driver may have been having a grumpy day, especially if they drive for Lyft-only, but they should keep that to themselves and not take their frustration out on riders.
     
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  • tinkerbellandeeyor

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 4, 2011
    For those who are on the lyft drivers side it was in the tone that he used, I have heard the ssme thing from others drivers but this time it did not sound friendly and yes it could have been me as well i sent a text asking a friend about plans the text could have easily waited till I got home I mean texting in as lyft is not the best idea but I did not know he was having problems on his end
     

    AngiTN

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 7, 2011
    For those who are on the lyft drivers side it was in the tone that he used, I have heard the ssme thing from others drivers but this time it did not sound friendly and yes it could have been me as well i sent a text asking a friend about plans the text could have easily waited till I got home I mean texting in as lyft is not the best idea but I did not know he was having problems on his end
    Huh? There is nothing wrong with a passenger texting.
    I would turn off sound but text away

    Tone is not always easily read. I can't fathom a driver insulting a passenger while on the ride. You had to have misinterpreted something
     

    StageTek

    It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
    Joined
    Apr 20, 2007
    I have found that the "tone" you hear is often based on how you are feeling at the moment. Sometimes "it must be nice..." can feel rude and dismissive. Most often it's an awkward compliment.
    So I gave him 3 out of 5 stars is their anyway to fix it or in the future give my self a cooling of period before rating and tipping him
    A three star can really hurt a driver. I love your idea of giving yourself a cooling off period.
     
  • JimMIA

    There's more to life than mice...
    Joined
    Feb 16, 2005
    A three star can really hurt a driver. I love your idea of giving yourself a cooling off period.
    No it won't. Not one three-star.

    If the driver gets a bunch of less-than-5-stars, that can hurt. But one bad rating won't hurt the driver much, and probably won't change their rating at all. The driver probably won't even notice it unless you leave some negative comment. And that's especially true on Lyft because their driver ratings are nowhere near as transparent as Uber. I honestly never look at my Lyft rating.

    Lyft (which is what Tink uses) driver ratings are the average of the last 100 rated rides. Uber driver ratings are the average of the last 500 rated rides. So with either company, one rating probably won't move the needle unless it's a 1-star.
     
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    Anchored

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 5, 2014
    The question is how do I fix it

    The story

    So after some difficulty we finally get to my condo all the driver could say in a not so nice matter is gee it must be nice to live in this area I was not going to point out the obvious that my family picked it because I dont drive so being as close to everything is needed

    But I have used lyft for over a year and never has a driver given me a hard time about where I live

    He might have been trying to make conversation and I missed it

    But all i heard was criticism from the moment I got in the car to the moment I was droped off

    So I gave him 3 out of 5 stars is their anyway to fix it or in the future give my self a cooling of period before rating and tipping him
    Bolding mine
    Tink, this is not obvious to anyone. You can't assume that people know your story.

    I hope your next ride is better!
     

    Pooh2

    Dis Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 2, 2011
    We've had uber drivers who were pleasant and chatty, some just did their job of getting us to where we need to go.
    Don't take the driver's comment to heart, who knows what his deal is. You likely will never meet him again so leave the rating as is and move on.
     

    AngiTN

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 7, 2011
    Bolding mine
    Tink, this is not obvious to anyone. You can't assume that people know your story.

    I hope your next ride is better!
    Especially a Lyft driver.

    I still maintain it’s impossible to read tone especially in a stranger. That may be how they always speak. Unless they say rude words specifically anything you consider “tone” is nothing more than your interpretation and is on you.
     

    JimMIA

    There's more to life than mice...
    Joined
    Feb 16, 2005
    Especially a Lyft driver.
    What's wrong with Lyft drivers, lol?

    I still maintain it’s impossible to read tone especially in a stranger. That may be how they always speak. Unless they say rude words specifically anything you consider “tone” is nothing more than your interpretation and is on you.
    I don't think it's especially difficult to pick up tone in a normal conversation with a stranger, and it's also pretty easy to detect whether they are using their normal manner of speaking or not. Maybe I'm just accustomed to dealing with strangers, but I don't find that difficult.

    What is very difficult is articulating what gave you the impression that someone was being impolite using a typed message on a discussion board. It's a sense, a perception, and those are hard to put into words sometimes.

    Also, there is a big difference between saying, "Wow, this is a lovely neighborhood" and saying "Gee, it must be nice to live here." "Nice neighborhood" is complimentary; "must be nice" is envious at a minimum. Neither are objectionable on the surface, but Tink also said the driver was critical right from the start.

    The bottom line to me, as a driver, is that the driver made their passenger uncomfortable. Whether that was a result of creepy behavior, rude behavior, social awkwardness, bad day, misaligned planets or whatever -- the fact is the driver's behavior made the ride uncomfortable.

    I think it's also important to remember that OP's purpose for starting this thread was NOT to trash the driver. She wasn't offering a word-for-word transcript and asking us to microscopically examine every word to determine the hidden meanings and evaluate the conversation.

    She thought she had been too critical in her rating of the driver, and she was asking if there was a way to change the rating and how to avoid something like this in the future.
     


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