I want to cry!

[pat9283]

I'm so fed up that I want to cry! Everyone on DF side is making this wedding so difficult! We told them we were getting married in disneyworld 2 YEARS AGO when we got engaged and have started planning 16mths out. The problem is all they do is moan about the cost! 1st of all his best man dropped out because he had already booked a holiday to florida and cant afford 2 in the same yr! Then his older brother said he did'nt know if he could get the time off work (16 mth in advance, yeh right!) but he can get time off to dog sit at a few weeks notice (hmmmm! something fishy) Then his dad said he wont be going because his back hurts alot when he flys on a 4hr flight so he did'nt think he could cope with a 9 1/2 hour flight! He has been offered injections to help with the pain bet he wont take them even for his sons wedding! Then his other brother got his horrible girlfriend pregnant who he has been with for like 2 seconds and now he recons he might not be able to afford to go now either! Even though they both work and he's known about this for 2yrs! I know they don't have anything against us getting married because I have lived with them for a while and we get on really well, but I think they feel like they wont enjoy disney and they will be waisting there money! My mum is so excited about it and she has 6 kids to pay for and she is paying for the dress and loads of other stuff (I did'nt ask her too but I am the eldest so she feels she wants to) She does'nt earn half the money that the other family does but she doe'snt care and will do anything to be there! At this rate I will only have the mother in law there on DF side! Thanks for letting me rant I know you guys will understand!

 

[pat9283]

Oh and PS. one of the brothers goes to new york in 2mths with the mother in law and this will be her 2nd trip in 5mths! So who can't afford it! AHHHHHH! NEW YORK FROM ENGLAND THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[laura forbes]

I think that if your DF is still happy enough to go without his family then you shouldn't worry about it. Just think about it if they are moaning at this stage then you may be happier without them there anyway they would probably just moan there to.

Don't get me wrong I wouldnt really like to be in this situation but theoretically I think it would be much happier planning events, meals accomodations and things over there for just my family instead of both mine and DF's families.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. But as I have realized through alot of the drama. Those that are suppose to be there, will be. And others will have your day in their thoughts. You just need to try and let go. Concintrate on having a great time with your guests that can make it. GL and lots of Pixie dust.

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

first of all....take a deep breathe & exhale slowly.

Im sorry you have to go thru this....family.....they can drive you into therapy!!

Anyway: I want to stress to you (& im sure the girls will chime in) that this is about you & DF. Weather you have 1 or 1000 people at your wedding ...the important thing is that your marrying your prince charming

It will be their loss if they chose not to participate...trust me

I know its hard, but try & focus on you 2 & if more people come, great, if not you'll have a wonderful time....its not about the quantity, but the quality.

I hope you are able to reslove this stress free & feel free to come here & vent anytime

BTW: i had an intimate & it was the best day ever....wouldnt change a thing

 

[Eeyore's Tailfinder]

I think you need a MASSIVE hug

That's a horrible situation to be in! I bet your DF is feeling really crappy that his family doesn't want to be at his wedding. It's understandable that some people wouldn't be able to make it, but some of their excuses are - well, unexcusable! One of my best friends told me she couldn't come to my 21st in DLRP in Jan as her DBF couldn't get off work, and proceeded to book a 5 day holiday with him a couple of days after They'll be the ones that have lost out. Could you invite a couple of close friends?

I really feel for you!

 

[pat9283]

Im having an intimate and most of the guests are bridesmaids etc. (I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers) so there will be no one sitting if DF Family dont go! I now don't have enough men to women and I already have all the flowers and stuff!

 

[pat9283]

Thanks for the I was in tears b4 and you guys are the only ones who understand. DF is so laid back he's horizontal! He seems like he's not bothered!

 

[laura forbes]

Im having an intimate and most of the guests are bridesmaids etc. (I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers) so there will be no one sitting if DF Family dont go! I now don't have enough men to women and I already have all the flowers and stuff!

I know its easy to say but try not to worry too much - If your DF is happy enough and its his family then why should you worry its you and DF's day not theirs. I would'nt worry about the men to women ratio its not a normal wedding its a DFTW and I was actually thinking about having everyone standing at my DFTW in the WP anyway (if they allow that) as its quite big and the party will be quite small I just thought that would look better.

 

[Eeyore's Tailfinder]

Deep breaths....

Is there anyone else you can ask to the wedding? Or even persuade the family to come?

Why not make a 'welcome letter/invite' as such to all the wonderful things that WDW has to offer. His family don't even have to do WDW or stay at WDW if they don't want. I think many people don't realise that WDW has a beautiful wedding pavillion, upmarket hotels and haute cuisine! Involve them in the wedding maybe? Show them photos of the wedding/reception venue?

 

[pat9283]

Thank you all for your kind words! I have been concidering having a very simple wedding over here and then going to florida with my family and DH. DF is not keen tho and says It's not disney and we should not be changing our plans to suit them. But I feel he will be very sad if he looks at his wedding pics in the future and none of his family are there! I want everyone incl me and him to be happy

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

Thank you all for your kind words! I have been concidering having a very simple wedding over here and then going to florida with my family and DH. DF is not keen tho and says It's not disney and we should not be changing our plans to suit them. But I feel he will be very sad if he looks at his wedding pics in the future and none of his family are there! I want everyone incl me and him to be happy

if you 2 have a wonderful wedding it wont matter if his family was there or not.
dont get me wrong, i know what you mean

DHs parents werent there, my dad, my grandma(who passed away not long after that) and none of our friends were there.
My mom & her now exhusband were there.

I hope you dont take any of this the wrong way, i just want you to see that if it ends up just a few of you that it will be great

 

[Chantelle]

I find this kind of funny because I went through a lot of the same things. I stressed for months because mom and her new jerk of a husband were nothing but negative about our wedding. She isn't coming anymore and I am okay with that. I don't want anyone there if they don't want to be.

My future sister-in-law also *****ed that she didn't think she could get the time off work, which I was more then understanding off. But then she turns to her husband (my fiances brother) and goes "maybe we can leave for a month in Europe straight from Florida". How can you not get a couple days off for my wedding but then turn around and say you're going to take the whole month off?! I am not a big fan of her in the first place so if she isn't able to make it to wedding I won't be too heartbroken.

Their wedding was a couple years ago and she didn't nothing but ***** about all the crappy gifts they were going to get. Her dad brought another whole truckload of gifts after they had unwrapped most of them at the gift opening and the two of them complained they had TOO many gifts to unwrap. Talk about being ungrateful.

 

[jmmastra]

I am sorry they are doing this to you. But everything happens for a reason and maybe you will have a better time if they are not there. I hope that did not sound mean. You are still far out from your wedding, so maybe they will come around once you get closer to the date.

As Laura mentioned it is a DFTW and the ratios do not matter, be creative with it.....I have been to many weddings were the bridal party sits for the ceremony.

I am sure it will all work out for the best and you and DF will have a magical day!

 

[pat9283]

I find this kind of funny because I went through a lot of the same things. I stressed for months because mom and her new jerk of a husband were nothing but negative about our wedding. She isn't coming anymore and I am okay with that. I don't want anyone there if they don't want to be.

My future sister-in-law also *****ed that she didn't think she could get the time off work, which I was more then understanding off. But then she turns to her husband (my fiances brother) and goes "maybe we can leave for a month in Europe straight from Florida". How can you not get a couple days off for my wedding but then turn around and say you're going to take the whole month off?! I am not a big fan of her in the first place so if she isn't able to make it to wedding I won't be too heartbroken.

Their wedding was a couple years ago and she didn't nothing but ***** about all the crappy gifts they were going to get. Her dad brought another whole truckload of gifts after they had unwrapped most of them at the gift opening and the two of them complained they had TOO many gifts to unwrap. Talk about being ungrateful.

Some people are so rude! Her dad should have took the gifts back!

Well I'm not to bothered about the future sister in law coming, as both me and DF are not her biggest fans. But I feel sorry for DF as his brother was going to be his best man after the other 1 dropped out! I think they are being very unreasonable but I don't think I can tell them to forget it and not come at all because at the moment we live with them! They are leaving us hanging on with the 'I dont think I can come and I don't think we will be able to afford it' I wish they would just come out and say it and get it over with. I will be upset but at least then I will know for sure without the excuses!

 

[laura forbes]

I agree they really should let you know its not fair to leave you hanging on do they not realise you want to plan things maybe you should try and drop some sort of planning that would involve them into the conversation. They may realise then that you really need to know for costs etc. Cant think what though suit hire or something.

 

[PrincessBride07]

Thank you all for your kind words! I have been concidering having a very simple wedding over here and then going to florida with my family and DH. DF is not keen tho and says It's not disney and we should not be changing our plans to suit them. But I feel he will be very sad if he looks at his wedding pics in the future and none of his family are there! I want everyone incl me and him to be happy

Listen to your DF. The way you speak, it isn't that upsetting to him. I think women (myself 100% included) tend to overanalyize everything. We are constantly thinking of the what if's. If he is the typical man, I don't think he has even thought about how he will feel 5 years from now looking at his wedding pics and his family not being in them. He seems to be really set on the disney wedding, so don't change the your plans one bit to accomadate his family. When you look at your pictures 5 years from now of your wedding day; I think both of you will be happy that WDW is the background, and not even care that his family wasn't there. Truly it is there loss.

 

[pat9283]

Listen to your DF. The way you speak, it isn't that upsetting to him. I think women (myself 100% included) tend to overanalyize everything. We are constantly thinking of the what if's. If he is the typical man, I don't think he has even thought about how he will feel 5 years from now looking at his wedding pics and his family not being in them. He seems to be really set on the disney wedding, so don't change the your plans one bit to accomadate his family. When you look at your pictures 5 years from now of your wedding day; I think both of you will be happy that WDW is the background, and not even care that his family wasn't there. Truly it is there loss.

You do have a point! I think I will definatly have to talk to DF properly and we will have to ask straight out if they are coming or not! I have asked them about the money for the waistcoats etc but they just say 'I'll give you it next week' and next week never comes!

 

[dznystar]

I know that everything will work out, and your day will be magical. If they don't want to come, then they will be miserable the entire time they're here, and you'd probably rather have them stay anyways. Just know that the people that are meant to be there, will be. I had a similar situation with one of my brothers who complained about the cost, and then about his kids not being in the wedding, then about them having to sit through the wedding, and then they didn't know if they could afford it at all. Well, they've since booked themselves on the DCL next summer. He was jsut griping about it, but I finally had to convince myself that if it was important to them, they would be there. Good luck!

 

[LOUISEANDANDREW]

Hi pat 9283!
i'm in the isle of man, so i'm like you with all the travel arrangements - it's a nightmare!
I keep having people say, 'oh do you mind if we upgrade please', and i'm like 'no thats fine', (i'm soft!). And then its 'oh i didn;t realise it would b that much money. but why didn't they tell me this before i booked it
I know it's a lot of money for people, & i really appreciate them making an effort to come but i wish they would realise how stressfull it all is!
I keep thinking it'll all be worth it!