I think my sister in law is having an affair

[jjarman]

(sorry guys. Decided to take out most of this information)

 

[Mermaid02]

Impossible to say- I would not speculate if I were you.....

 

[mickeyboat]

It could be an emotional affair, but who knows?

I probably would not get involved or say anything unless your brother shared his concerns with you or you had some concrete proof.

 

[SaraJayne]

What do I think? You need to stay out of it. It isn't any of your business.

Do I think she's cheating? No, but I do think you're jumping to some massive conclusions.

 

[daisax]

What do I think? You need to stay out of it. It isn't any of your business.

This, but I would also caution you that you have put enough identifying information in your post that anybody interested in tracking her down and making trouble for her would be able to do so. It's one thing to play with fire anonymously -- another to possibly endanger people's families and livelihoods with speculation that in the wrong hands could do serious damage.

 

[Quiksilvr]

It sounds like the answer you want to hear is yes, so...yes?

 

[HunnyPots]

Leave it alone. You aren't going to help anybody with your speculations. Let your brother handle his own family problems, if they even exist.

 

[cheermom1]

I would stay out of it...My mil knew her dh was cheating and even knew who it was but she didn't say anything to the other woman's dh..she felt like it wasn't her place ..come to find out that he knew and he felt the same way which is why he didn't tell her ...my point is that even though they were directly involved they both felt like it wasn't their place to say anything..you are not directly involved in this so I would stay out things like this have a way of coming out on their own if they is something going on....

 

[Feralpeg]

OP, I don't think you have enough information to make a call on this and, as others have said, I think you should stay out of it. You could cause real problems when nothing exists. As for deleting text messages, everyone has different habits. I delete all messages/calls I get from my phone as soon as I have read/heard them. Just because you don't, doesn't mean she is trying to hide anything.

 

[Jennasis]

Please...for everyone's sake...stay out of it.

 

[cheermom1]

OP, I don't think you have enough information to make a call on this and, as others have said, I think you should stay out of it. You could cause real problems when nothing exists. As for deleting text messages, everyone has different habits. I delete all messages/calls I get from my phone as soon as I have read/heard them. Just because you don't, doesn't mean she is trying to hide anything.

i agree with the erasing mess.. as I don't and let it get full before I do anything but my dh deletes his as soon as he gets them...everyone has a different was of doing things..

 

[canda]

My wife had an affair on me last year. (may still be involved, i don't know). It has almost destroyed me as a person. I lost my job because of the emotional stress and toll, i almost lost my life. I say this only becasue it is a very serious issue and not to be taken lightly. I informed her family, and it made her resent me more. I thought they would confront her on her wrong doings but they did not. You can not approach her with this because it will destroy your entire family. His family will hate you as the in law. Only if you have solid proof should you inform your brother. If there is not enough evidence, then he will take her side against you. People in affairs are living lies and they will not listen to reason. My wife had her affair right after our 3rd child. SHe started to excersise like a maniac and was very riped in just a few months after giving birth. I am still with her, but it is very hard for me...........AS for getting them help once discovery happens...please direct your brother to The Affair Recovery Center in Austin Tx. They are one of the only places to find proffessional help that specialize in affair recovery.

I am praying for your brother and you....just be careful and follow your gut...not your heart......

 

[C.Ann]

I would hate to be accused of having an affair based on the little bit of info you have posted here.. It "is" possible for a woman and a man to be friends - especially since they have so much in common - you know?

Personally I think you're making a huge leap - and should definitely keep your suspicions to yourself.. No "good" can come of you meddling in your brother's marriage.. Let the counselor do his (or her) job..

 

[NY Disney fan]

(((canda))).

Jjarman...I'm so sorry this might be happening. It is painful for everyone. If you don't have enough evidence you could destroy a family. Don't do it. Just keep watching and praying that your SIL stays true to her marriage.

 

[alexandria674]

Personally, there is way too little information here for you to make a correct assumption. You have said yourself that between the choir practice and church she spends three times a week with this guy, but they are around other people. That doesn't mean a thing, since she is in the choir perhaps they are getting ready for their gig by making last minute plans, it could be anything but you don't actually "know" if something is going on. I am going to have to agree with most posters and say Stay out of it. Also, as for some of the marriage problems between your brother and her are just that, this is a private matter between them.

 

[jjarman]

Thanks guys. I never intended to confront anyone about this. I figured I would just let things play out like they will. I hope it is not true. I love my DSIL like a sister and would hate to see her screw things up.

 

[JessicaR]

Honestly she may be having an affair and she may not be. It doesn't matter. You aren't her keeper and you cant control her actions. You are not responsible for the choices she makes. You really need to mind your own business. Of course you want to help but anything you do will somehow be turned against you and your good intentions will not be seen that way.

I am sorry you are upset but trust me no good will come from your getting involved.

 

[cheermom1]

I have a thought ...what if they have an open marriage? Not saying they do but they might and not want to say anything to anyone as it is their business...I know a few couples that do but their families don't know ...this is just a thought...

 

[daisax]

Thanks guys. I never intended to confront anyone about this. I figured I would just let things play out like they will. I hope it is not true. I love my DSIL like a sister and would hate to see her screw things up.

But you've broadcast on the internet enough information to cause her serious problems professionally and socially. I'd seriously consider editing the identifying information in your original post.

 

[TiggerCat]

Tough crowd isn't it? They say that there is no pixie dust on the Transportation board but over here on the Community Board, they take no prisoners.

TC.