I should have stuck to my guns

[Crazy4Disney72]

While I do agree that it sounds like the leader maybe handled this a little wrong with her explanation of why you couldn't stay, Daisies is not a parent/child activity, it is a girl activity. There may be certain aspects where parents are involved, but Girl Scouts is supposed to mostly be about the girls.

I was a Daisy and Brownie leader. The first year I allowed the parents to stay at every meeting, it was VERY distracting to the girls. The second year, no parents except that week's designated 'helper mom' and it was much smoother. If I had it to do again, I would have not allowed parents from the beginning. For those who say they wouldn't leave their girls....don't you leave them at school? Of course you do. This is no different. The only way I wouldn't feel totally comfortable leaving would be if there was only one adult, but there should always be at least two registered leaders present at a meeting or activity, and both of them will have undergone a background check and quite a bit of training.

 

[tink15823]

DD is 5 and in Kindergarten. In Sept. they sent home info. about Daisy Scouts. I thought it was a little much for a 5yo and the intial cost would be about $45 which wasn't in the budget. Fast forward to the end of Dec. and DD keeps asking to join. So we went to one meeting and I spent the $ to join. During that meeting it was really crazy but I figured it was pre holiday. At that meeting the leader said it was time for parents to leave there girls and not attend with them. I mentioned to her that I would like to come again so I could see how things are run and she didn't say anything. So I go today and the leader told me parents weren't welcome at the meeting because they were talking about truth and lying and she didn't think the kids would be able to talk about their lies w/ parents there.
I didn't know what to do. I was appalled. I really don't think a 5yo confessing sins is all that important and to tell a parent they aren't welcome is disturbing. I told DD I would be back to pick her up. Now I wish I hadn't left her there, and even more so I wish I hadn't signed her up. Anyone have experience w/ Daisy Scouts?

I have been a girl scout leader for 5 year and you have the right to stay . This year the are asking parents that want to stay for more than 2 meeting to reg. as a vol parent $ 12. and pay 2.25 for a back ground check. I would call you neighborhood chair and ask why you could not stay. I'm on the Jr level and could not do what I do with out the help of the wonderful MOMS ans DADS that I have.

 

[nexttrip4us]

ITA--as her parent, you have the right to stay, but yes, then you will likely be required to register as a GS volunteer. I hate to say it, but there are a lot of drop and run parents in my daughers troop of 20(!) so often it would JUST be the leader with 20 girls if I didn't stay and there is no way I would permit that.

Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are two different animals...we've had kids in both and it is definitely very different how they are both structured, but at the end fo the day, you are her parent--you need to decide what's best for her.

I won't say the troop my DD is in would be my first choice, but her friends are there, so she wants to stay.

Good luck!

 

[Befferk]

Girl scouts is entirely different - I was very surprised when I learned I had to stay for tiger scouts. I've had 3 dd's involved in girl scouts, and parents drop off.

I am surprised that GS allow a troop leader to be alone with the kids. Regardless of their intentions, this should never happen. It opens up a huge liability . Think of the things that adult could be accused of, with no one to back them up? Especially when they are outright telling the parents they can't stay. Rubs me the wrong way.... Like I said, good or bad intentions, it's a bad idea.

ETA: I am also a co-den leader for Cub Scouts, and we are never allowed alone with the kids.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

GS troop leaders are not allowed to be alone with kids -- two registered adults must attend each meeting, and these adults must pass a background check before meetings can begin.

I am a lifetime member of 35 years, I came through GS from 1st grade on (no Daisies when I was young), and I also worked for a large GS Council, working in 7 communities each year. My job as a membership services executive was to recruit leaders and girls through registration and provide training, recruit neighborhood level leadership and provide their training, and make sure all the events of the year went smoothly -- cookie sales, etc.

I think the OP might have missed a great deal coming in so late (although new members are always welcome!), and should ask the troop leader for basic information about the troop, which should have been given to each parent at the beginning of the year. If she is uncomfortable, she can also speak to the neighborhood or town chair, and as a last resort to the council representative for their community. Unfortunately, Daisy leaders are usually the least experienced, and everything is new to them, as well. OP, you also might make a visit to the council's website, you might find other information and supplemental Daisy ideas, so you'll get a sense of the norm.

I hope you decide to give GS a good try -- I am still benefiting from the lessons I learned there, and I sent a Christmas card to one of my former leaders this year, letting her know how much I appreciate all the time and effort she put into making me who I am today.

I'd like to add a big "Thank You!" to all of you who are or have been leaders. I have a ds and my career path has taken me elsewhere, so I'm not involved like I used to be. But hopefully one day my ds will find a young lady who has GS values, spirit and integrity, and that will be due to the leaders of today!

Maria

 

[mjkacmom]

I am surprised that GS allow a troop leader to be alone with the kids. Regardless of their intentions, this should never happen. It opens up a huge liability . Think of the things that adult could be accused of, with no one to back them up? Especially when they are outright telling the parents they can't stay. Rubs me the wrong way.... Like I said, good or bad intentions, it's a bad idea.

ETA: I am also a co-den leader for Cub Scouts, and we are never allowed alone with the kids.

I'll take girl scouts over boy scouts any day! I really don't enjoy ds's meetings - the parents just sit in the back, and there's nothing for them to help out with. Maybe if ds was an only child, but to mandate that I have to come with him at 3:30 on a weekday means I need childcare.

BTW, there is always more than one leader at a GS meeting.

 

[skw444]

I am surprised that GS allow a troop leader to be alone with the kids. Regardless of their intentions, this should never happen. It opens up a huge liability . Think of the things that adult could be accused of, with no one to back them up? Especially when they are outright telling the parents they can't stay. Rubs me the wrong way.... Like I said, good or bad intentions, it's a bad idea.

ETA: I am also a co-den leader for Cub Scouts, and we are never allowed alone with the kids.

The leaders can't be alone with the girls. There must be 2 registered volunteers (background checks done on each person) at every event. And the 2 volunteers can't be related. I think the Girl Scouts do a wonderful job in ensuring that the girls are safe.

 

[ceecee]

Actually with GS there is an adult/child ratio that must be met. One adult per 5 girls in the Daisy age group. Once the girls are older the ratio is different.

 

[gandycat]

I have to laugh about parents being shocked that they had to stay at cub scout meetings. My dh has been the den leader of my son's troup for 4 years and it's always a struggle. He's had as many as 17 kids, even when the dads stay, half of them sit and talk and ignore the kids. It just drives me insane that they expect my dh who has volunteered tons of hours of his time to do almost everything (not saying that anyone here thinks that!). Luckily he does have a few parents that are willing to pitch in and help and that is a huge asset to him and the boys in the troop. But it perplexes me that some of them think he should be able to manage 10-15 active boys and keep them focused by himself.

My dd does Daisy Scouts and we've never been asked to stay (like people have said you have to go thru training), but there is a huge difference between 6/7 year old girls and 6/7 year old boys. The girls are WAY easier to manage, lol.

My dd has had a great experience in Daisy Scouts, I hope things work out for your daughter too!

 

[r4blessings]

I am a new daisy leader, and my co-leader and I have 11 girls. We prefer that parents do not stay, simply because its very distracting for our girls. I did have a mom concerned that her daughter would have some seperation anxiety, and b/c of that, she became a registered adult with GS and paid the $12 fee. She stayed for one or two meetings, and then started leaving when it became clear that her daughter was enjoying herself.

Sometimes the moms that do stay tend to talk among themselves and it can be very distracting to the girls, as well as to us. We have a lot to accomplish in the hour we have, so the less distractions the better! The girls give us plenty of that by themselves! And a lot of the moms are unable to stay, b/c they have other children with them.....and that just makes it crazy.

I agree with the liability thing. The daisies in our troop are placed their by the council, who did background checks on us, and trained us. It would be a legal nightmare if something happened between a parent and a child (that was not theirs) b/c the girl scout council hadn't put that parent in charge. I know in our school district, parents are not allowed to chaperone field trips for the same reason. The school takes responsibility for the actions of their teachers, not the parents. And as a parent, I really am not comfortable with another adult (who I am not familiar with) supervising my child outside of school, taking them to the bathroom (daisies seem like they ALWAYS need help with their buttons, zippers and belts!) or reprimanding them if need be.

We take the time to talk to each of our parents though, and I think they are very comfortable and happy with our troop. So I agree that the OP should maybe talk to her dd's leader and see if that makes her more or less comfortable with the troop. And if she is not, then definitly look for a different troop.