I really can't work this girl out...what does your experience tell you?

[StuZioCardyni]

I am good friends with a girl who it seems has something of a thing for me, at least it seems that way...sometimes. We have days when she's chatty and flirty. Her body language is amazingly positive and she's very very tactile. And then there are times like last night, when she hardly talks, spends all her time on her phone, doesn't answer when I ask questions and is generally very, very stand offish. I happen to know she talks about me a lot when she's with other friends and on the good days there are really no other people who work as well together as me and her. But you just don't have a clue how she's going to be and it makes it so hard to relax. She's 21 so maybe it's an age thing but I would have really thought she would have got past all that...

I'm just a bit confused this morning, sorry if that's not all that much help. I've always been a pretty good judge of people and women but this one frazzles my mind lol

 

[joolz1910]

Sounds like she's blowing hot and cold. Sorry, but I could not be bothered with someone who messed around like that. Personally, I like to know where I stand with someone, whether it's in a friendship or a relationship. Perhaps she is stuck in the 'moody teen' phase. TBH, she sounds like she is being quite rude to you!

 

[irongirlof12]

Pmt

 

[StuZioCardyni]

yeah joolz she really was...I'm not really bothered at the moment either...It's just kinda frustrating loosing a friendship that used to be pretty good!!

 

[joolz1910]

If her rudeness was a one-off, then give her another chance. If this is a pattern of behaviour, I would be inclined to find a new friend. You sound like you are being very reasonable, perhaps you should say, 'Don't be so damn rude to me!' It might wake her up a bit.

 

[bronny]

I have to agree with Jools, but the only way you will ever find out is to ask her how she feels! Perhaps her ignoring you is her way of trying to make you jealous, childish of course, but certainly possible.

 

[joolz1910]

Bronny has a good point. You would clearly like to be more than friends and there is only one way of finding out how she feels...

 

[StuZioCardyni]

might be pmt, lots of painkillers fell out her bag and i know she gets bad cramps so it might be around that time...

Maybe she got cross *** i started asking her about her love life...i was just trying to be friendly but if she does have feelings, who knows it might have upset her that i seemed to be talking about other men! but not sure to be honest...I wouldn't normally think so much about this stuff, it's just recent weeks have been really nice, it's kinda sad

 

[natalielongstaff]

I think you both need to be honest about how you feel, its the only way to find out for sure

good luck x

 

[Pinky166]

I agree that you need to talk to her, she may be shy about asking you or not sure how you feel about her.

Good luck.

 

[bronny]

I speak from personal experience when I say, if you don't talk to her, and you really care for her you will regret it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - but someone once said that it is better to regret the chances you take than the ones you don't. Put yourself out there, if you are knocked back and it ruins the friendship it is a friendship that wouldn't have stood the test of time, hurt pride is much easier to get over than wondering what might have been! I wish you luck! Take a chance, it may be the best thing you have ever done!

bronny

 

[joolz1910]

I speak from personal experience when I say, if you don't talk to her, and you really care for her you will regret it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - but someone once said that it is better to regret the chances you take than the ones you don't. Put yourself out there, if you are knocked back and it ruins the friendship it is a friendship that wouldn't have stood the test of time, hurt pride is much easier to get over than wondering what might have been! I wish you luck! Take a chance, it may be the best thing you have ever done!

bronny

 

[irongirlof12]

might be pmt, lots of painkillers fell out her bag and i know she gets bad cramps so it might be around that time...

Maybe she got cross *** i started asking her about her love life...i was just trying to be friendly but if she does have feelings, who knows it might have upset her that i seemed to be talking about other men! but not sure to be honest...I wouldn't normally think so much about this stuff, it's just recent weeks have been really nice, it's kinda sad

at 21 my friends used to avoid me like the plague ( pmt time!)- they just know when! I changed as a person and became withdrawn,moody and quiet. you need to talk to her and remain a rock. ( does that make sense?) take a chance and ask her out or live forever not knowing - it's your choice.

 

[Dimplenose]

It could well be PMT but she might not be aware of it. I was in my 30s before I realised the reason for my bad temper. But if it is pick your time to talk to her - I'm so irrational at that time that I explode even if DH says something like, "I understand it's PMT ..."

 

[StuZioCardyni]

Yeah trust me, I'm gonna pick my time! last night she was in a vile mood but mostly she's not! and one of the first thing she told me was that she had bad cramps so maybe that was a little coded warning! My poor male brain just didn't quite click lol...I'll see how she is in a couple of days, she said she's up for the cinema on Wednesday so i might take her for something to eat and get some of this out in the open.

The more i think about it the more i think pmt might have been it...she was reacting strangely to stuff she never would before...I'll keep you posted...after all, tomorrow is another day!

Thanks guys

 

[Dimplenose]

But what will you do if it is PMT?

I know I'm irrational at that time, but I can't control it. I feel like the walls are closing in on me and I just have to fight to get out. I've tried walking away from situations but that can make other people angry too!

And, just to warn you, I'd be livid to find out that DH had discussed this with anyone let alone a message board - so tread carefully (I'm sure you will.)

 

[StuZioCardyni]

if it's pmt I don't mind...*** then at least I know I've not done anything wrong!!

And yeah, I've not enjoyed putting all this out there but I was just trying to work it all out in my head lol

 

[StuZioCardyni]

I've come to a conclusion (goodness knows it's taken me long enough)

I really don't care! I don't want to have to deal with all that drama and what happened on Saturday night was so incredibly rude, whatever the situation is nobody deserves that. I'm just going to leave her be. If she wants to be a friend, I'll talk and be friendly but all that other emotional stuff...I can't be doing with it. I've never been a game player, just give me someone straight to be point and honest and i'll be happy...

I'm feeling very free today and I think that says alot

Thanks guys, you all helped a lot...now back on with my life

Stu

 

[joolz1910]

I've come to a conclusion (goodness knows it's taken me long enough)

I really don't care! I don't want to have to deal with all that drama and what happened on Saturday night was so incredibly rude, whatever the situation is nobody deserves that. I'm just going to leave her be. If she wants to be a friend, I'll talk and be friendly but all that other emotional stuff...I can't be doing with it. I've never been a game player, just give me someone straight to be point and honest and i'll be happy...

I'm feeling very free today and I think that says alot

Thanks guys, you all helped a lot...now back on with my life

Stu

Good Luck Stu. It's difficult if you feel drawn to someone but it sounds like you needed to get some perspective on the relationship. Like I said before, sometimes being direct can wake a person up a bit - try saying, 'You are being rude'. If she doesn't like it, well, so be it.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[StuZioCardyni]

Thanks Joolz, I will

I feel pretty good about everything...tbh I think we both found it hard this thing developing from being friends first, it'll be better this way

Hope you're having a really nice day xx