I overheard my parents talking the other day

[honeywolf7]

They didn't know I was listening but I heard them basically talking about the fact that my dad recently found out that he has prostate cancer and that he isn't planning to get any treatment for it because he's 67 and he figures he won't live all that much longer anyway. I didn't tell them I overheard and I haven't told anyone else what I heard either. As much trouble as my dad and I have had over the years and as much as I don't agree with some of his opinions, this still really hurts. Any prayers would be appreciated.

 

[EROS]

Honeywolf, there will be plenty of time for prayers, but now should be a time of ACTION. I would definitely urge you to speak with him. 67 is too young to consider avoidance of treatment. There are several alternatives to surgery if he is uncomfortable with that course. Expressing your concern would only show your love for him.

Good Luck,

 

[worm761]

{{HUGS}} i am sooo sorry. i know that the word cancer is heard as a death sentence. BUT prostate cancer is curable! you should talk to your parents and let them know you know. my brother had prostate cancer when he was in his 20's. he has been cancer free for several years now. please talk to your parents.

 

[honeywolf7]

I've tried to ignore/deny to myself what I heard. Basically, the doctor told my dad that his PSA level would be absolutely devastating to him if he was to find out about it at his age [the doctor is in his early 40's] and my dad said he figured he wouldn't live long enough anyway to bother with treatment (he has other health problems and he really doesn't like going to doctors in the first place) and my mom and he were talking about the seeds that are used as a treatment but dad said he still wouldn't do that. I wouldn't have known what they were talking about except for the fact that my mom's cousin (who is actually a couple of years older than my dad) was recently diagnosed with it as well and she told me about the seed treatment then. I want to talk to him about it but I honestly don't know how to bring it up. He did tell me a few weeks ago when I was talking about how upset I was about my separation that he figured that in five years I'll be shocked that I was this upset but that he doesn't figure that he'll be around to see it.

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

Prostate cancer can be cured. My dad had it at 70 and he is now 85 and plans on living until my son graduates college and gets married.....it is hard to aproach your father with that topic, it is sensitive for men but you are doing it out of love. maybe you can talk to your mom first and tell er your concerns and feelings about him not wanting treament. Good luck and prayer to you and your family

 

[Kermit]

I'll be praying for your family. I'm especially praying that your dad will find a treatment that he's comfortable with. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[honeywolf7]

Thanks, everybody....I had finally gotten to the point where I absolutely had to tell someone because it was eating away at me and I knew I'd get some support/good advice here. (((Hugs)))

 

[helenabear]

I will most certainly keep your dad, yourself and all your family in my thoughts and prayers {{hugs}}

 

[bumcat]

One of my neighbors had it when he was in his early 70's and that was over 8 years ago. He is doing real good. Maybe you can talk to your mom and she can try to talk to him about getting treatment.

 

[snoopy]

Oh, goodness, honeywolfe, how upsetting for you! I will certainly keep your Dad in my prayers. I think you should talk to him about it if you can.

 

[Boots]

I too have known men who lived a long life after this was discovered. HUGS and prayers to you.

 

[Rajah]

Sending bunches of P&PD your way and your family's way, Becki. I hope your dad will reconsider and be around for a long time yet.

 

[Straycat]

honeywolf - your dad will be in my prayers as will you. i know firsthand the emotional hell that cancer brings to a family and it breaks my heart to hear of anyone having to go thru it. i also think you should talk to your dad, maybe do some research first and show him some facts about people recovering from it. Sixty seven is not old, life is too short already to give up without a fight. Maybe talking to your mom will help and the two of you together can change your fathers mind. {{hugs4u}}

 

[MerryPoppins]

I'll keep your family in my prayers.

Do try to find a way to talk to your parents. I agree that he is NOT old and that he could be cured. Cancer isn't a death sentance. I've known several men who had prostate cancer.

 

[disykat]

Do you know if he's been diagnosed or just has an elevated PSA? I know that PSA's can be elevated for other reasons such as infection or an enlarged prostate. My dad has been on antibiotics and being watched for his PSA's for over 3 years now. After numerous biopsies they have yet to find any cancer. Even if they find cancer - some prostate cancers can be very slow growing.

Your dad has the right to choose nontreatment, but I hope he is thoroughly tested - he could be living under a death sentence for nothing. Many men fear treatment - I know my dad has been afraid of loss of sexual function and incontinance. Every biopsy brings huge relief to him.

 

[newmousecateer]

{{HUGS}}

I am so sorry to hear this, but please take EROS' advice and talk to your Dad. He is definately too young to avoid treatment.

Prayers and *PD* being sent your Dad's way.

 

[JasonLyons]

Ill pray, maybe you didnt here the whole story

 

[browneyes]

My SO's uncle found out he had prostate cancer about 5 years ago. He's 71 now (he went through the chemo treatments, and prostatectomy).

You and your dad really need to sit down and talk about this. It might be a relief for him to know that you know. And you might be the key to helping him get treatment.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Please talk to your dad and encourage him to seek treatment, it is so worth it. My prayers will be with him, you and your family, Becki.

 

[olena]

Everyone's offered some great advice, so here's some *HUGS* and PD for you.