I Need Your Help!

[ObsessedwithWDW]

OK this may sound mean but disney is MY safe place, my magic, my vacation, my world away from my world! I love my family and I love my friends but Disney is MINE to share only with those I want. NOW here's the story...went to disney last year with another couple...our token couple...that we spend day in and day out with week after week we get along great like the same things etc. GREAT TIME WAS HAD. Well this year we are booking for 08 and a friend got wind of it and wants to book with us. Sort of invited herself BUT I had mentioned the trip before without inviting them...she and her husband are my friends they really are but we are DIFFERENT. Different from the relationship with my friends I traveled with prior. They are a bit conservative (not a bad thing just not ME) very politically correct again not bad but not me....this will really put a damper on my trip if they come I THINK. I will feel on guard and on eggshells all week....WHAT DO I DO!?!!?? I dont want to loose a friend but I think if we travel together I might loose them anyway? Any suggestions? THANKS! and really I am not a bad friend just concerned for my ONCE A YEAR vacation and maintaining a good friendship...not great I made that clear right.

 

[YoungChuck72]

OK this may sound mean but disney is MY safe place, my magic, my vacation, my world away from my world! I love my family and I love my friends but Disney is MINE to share only with those I want. NOW here's the story...went to disney last year with another couple...our token couple...that we spend day in and day out with week after week we get along great like the same things etc. GREAT TIME WAS HAD. Well this year we are booking for 08 and a friend got wind of it and wants to book with us. Sort of invited herself BUT I had mentioned the trip before without inviting them...she and her husband are my friends they really are but we are DIFFERENT. Different from the relationship with my friends I traveled with prior. They are a bit conservative (not a bad thing just not ME) very politically correct again not bad but not me....this will really put a damper on my trip if they come I THINK. I will feel on guard and on eggshells all week....WHAT DO I DO!?!!?? I dont want to loose a friend but I think if we travel together I might loose them anyway? Any suggestions? THANKS! and really I am not a bad friend just concerned for my ONCE A YEAR vacation and maintaining a good friendship...not great I made that clear right.

this is a hard one buy i kinda had the same problem and the only thing i can tell you (which is what i did) is just explain to them that this is basically your time to be with YOUR family just you all...not to be mean or nothing just that like you said DISNEY is your vacation for you to get away from it all i mean its kinda hard but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do but thats what i did when i was in your boat and it tunred out okay they understood and now we're all good

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

trouble with that is we are going with the same couple we went with last year which I am thrilled about but of course now it seems like I am picking and choosing who I travel with which I AM. I do agree honestly is probably the best policy BUT that will hurt feelings if they know I am traveling with another couple???? BUT glad to know it worked out for U and your trip.

 

[YoungChuck72]

trouble with that is we are going with the same couple we went with last year which I am thrilled about but of course now it seems like I am picking and choosing who I travel with which I AM. I do agree honestly is probably the best policy BUT that will hurt feelings if they know I am traveling with another couple???? BUT glad to know it worked out for U and your trip.

OOOOO Thats a lil different I'll have to think about this one

 

[tnmomof4]

It might hurt their feelings now if they know you are traveling with another couple.. but honesty is the best policy. What kind of time are they going to have if you guys are so different? I would think they wouldn't have a good time either. Their vacation could be ruined too. You are going to be on "eggshells", but I would think your whole time will be very stressed. Not fun at all. What will you talk about? If they are conservative and have different views than you, won't even talking while eating or waiting in line or whatever get kind of dicey. Like you said you don't want to loose a friend, but what if you go and it gets really bad. You may loose them for good. It might be better for them to be upset now before you go, than to go and it turn into a total disaster. What will you do then?

I went with my sister and her DD once and we are the same way. She is conservative in everything and I am not. It was really bad. I will never have her join us again. This is a very hard thing.. but I have read so many stories on these boards about people going with family or friends and it going really bad. And they all say Never Again. I think you should just go with friends you know you will have a good time with. I agree that if maintaining a good relationship with these friends is important to you, that they probably shouldn't go.

But...
What about them going, and not staying together the whole time? You could meet up for meals, or meet at a certain park and do things together for a couple hours each day/night.

 

[kimis]

OK this may sound mean but disney is MY safe place, my magic, my vacation, my world away from my world! I love my family and I love my friends but Disney is MINE to share only with those I want. NOW here's the story...went to disney last year with another couple...our token couple...that we spend day in and day out with week after week we get along great like the same things etc. GREAT TIME WAS HAD. Well this year we are booking for 08 and a friend got wind of it and wants to book with us. Sort of invited herself BUT I had mentioned the trip before without inviting them...she and her husband are my friends they really are but we are DIFFERENT. Different from the relationship with my friends I traveled with prior. They are a bit conservative (not a bad thing just not ME) very politically correct again not bad but not me....this will really put a damper on my trip if they come I THINK. I will feel on guard and on eggshells all week....WHAT DO I DO!?!!?? I dont want to loose a friend but I think if we travel together I might loose them anyway? Any suggestions? THANKS! and really I am not a bad friend just concerned for my ONCE A YEAR vacation and maintaining a good friendship...not great I made that clear right.

i can understand. My dh and I go every year. Every year for the last three years we have had several couples ask if they could go with us. We aren't really that close to these people so we had to really think about it. What we finally did was give the dates that we would be there to the couples and if they want to plan their trips and catch up with us for a day or two they could. What i think is a lot of people don't know how to plan for a WDW trip so i offer to help them plan one.
Would we take one of our best couple friends someday? Sure. But not all the time. It is like you mentioned I feel like Disney is my time with dh and no one else. I also feel like disney is mine. Is that nuts or what? LOL

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

ok so right now I am at honesty is best but how do you say to someone I am going with these friends but cant go with you? YOU JUST CANT! Its just mean BUT I am at the point where I would rather not go than spend a week with friends that I see once or twice a year and arent always on the same page with.

 

[tnmomof4]

The only other solution is doing what I also said and kimis said. You can tell them your dates, and say we can do a meal together or a park together for a few hours or whatever. They have to do their own planning. Can you tell them you already have all your plans? How would you feel about them going but not really going with you?

If you only see these friends once or twice a year, and you are at the point that you would rather not go at all than go with them, than you must be anticipating a really bad time if they go. What is more important to you? Is it worth it to you to ruin your vacation or having people you only see once a year being mad at you.

 

[poohtink]

I've been in your shoes. And found the best way to do it is if you don't care if they go make it very clear that you have your plans and this is what you do and its no problem if they don't want to do it but this is what you are doing. Sometimes if you make it clear of what you expect they may back off on going and justify not going. Give them a list of what you are doing and all the cost associated with it. Make sure you tell them that you are not expecting to spend every minute together and understand that they will want some alone time also. Good Luck.

 

[DizzDoll]

You can be firm without being "hard" and let them know the dates you'll be down. They can look into their own trip down and, as has been said in previous posts, they can meet up with you for a meal or whatever occasionally. Just don't tell them your specific plans as to what you'll be doing and what parks you'll be visiting. How about spending an afternoon on the sea raycers? You'll be together but apart .

 

[LISAMWDW]

DizzDoll has some good ideas. However, I would just tell them that your family and this couple has made these plans and perhaps you can go on another vacation with just them next time. That it is too stressful a vacation for YOU to have a vacation with so many people. Be very nice, friendly, apologetic but firm. Keep is simple, friendly and firm. Firm so you don't get backed into something that will make you regret inviting them anyway. It's a vacation and it shouldn't be this hard! It's supposed to be fun!

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

Your all so helpful! I actually just booked my trip and the other couples trip and will be telling the third couple tomorrow that we booked, give them the costs and say this is my plan if you want to come along for the ride then ok by me but this is my one big trip a year that I love so i am pretty specific about what I do and don't do if that works great. I want to be a the more the merrier person but I am just not.