I need advice regarding something my son said happened at school today.

[erincon23]

When my DS17 was in 3rd grade, a police officer came to our door after dinner. She asked to come in, and asked DS if he had told us what had happened at school that day. DS was completely stumped, had no idea what she was talking about, and she told us that a boy at school had said to our DS that he was going to bring a gun to school the next day and shoot him. DS's nickname is still "Mr. Oblivious" (motion of something going right over the head). Apparently, DS and this boy were standing outside talking waiting to be picked up after school (we carpooled, and it was the other parent's turn to pick up), and this boy made the comment. A mom waiting for her son to come out heard them, and ran in and told the principal. The school pulled the boy in, called the parents, talked to the police, and the boy ended up suspended for two weeks. The school never called us, the parents never called us, and my son was friendly with this boy, but didn't really know his name. (The only thing we heard was that there were no guns in the house, and the boy said he was joking, which we believe.) But you really can't be too careful, no matter how young they are. I hope you have a good outcome from this, and don't get any hassle from the school or the parents, but I think you did the right thing.

 

[jfoofj]

So, the principal called me. He said that he is happy that I emailed him abou this, and that they take this kind of thing very seriously. He said that the school psychologist was going to talk to John and he was having a meeting with John's parents later today. My son's name won't be brought up, he is just going to say "a concerned parent" contact him because of what their child heard John say at lunch yesterday. There were 12 children at the lunch table, and the principal said that they might talk to a few of those children too. The principal also feels that this is almost certainly a case of the child joking around, but he needs to know that joking about things of this nature at school will not be tolerated. I don't know if this will result in John being suspended or not (I hope not), but I do hope that having to have his parents come in leaves enough of an impression on him that he realizes the gravity of saying you want to shoot someone.

Oh, I did not tell my son about the email I sent or phone call from the principal either. I don't want him to feel guilty if something does come of this that he was the reason. He does know now, though, that if another child in school ever talks about having a gun or wanting to shoot people that he is go immediately tell a teacher or any of the workers in the school.

UGH. I so glad school is almost out for the year!

 

[DawnCt1]

So, the principal called me. He said that he is happy that I emailed him abou this, and that they take this kind of thing very seriously. He said that the school psychologist was going to talk to John and he was having a meeting with John's parents later today. My son's name won't be brought up, he is just going to say "a concerned parent" contact him because of what their child heard John say at lunch yesterday. There were 12 children at the lunch table, and the principal said that they might talk to a few of those children too. The principal also feels that this is almost certainly a case of the child joking around, but he needs to know that joking about things of this nature at school will not be tolerated. I don't know if this will result in John being suspended or not (I hope not), but I do hope that having to have his parents come in leaves enough of an impression on him that he realizes the gravity of saying you want to shoot someone.

Oh, I did not tell my son about the email I sent or phone call from the principal either. I don't want him to feel guilty if something does come of this that he was the reason. He does know now, though, that if another child in school ever talks about having a gun or wanting to shoot people that he is go immediately tell a teacher or any of the workers in the school.

UGH. I so glad school is almost out for the year!

Good job! And good for not mentioning to your son. Nor would I mention it to anyone else either. What is nice about "here" is that you are annonymous.

 

[mskayjay]

Great job Mom! Super proud of you and I hope more parents are reading this and just not responding but paying attention to what is happening.

As an aside we had a school just over an hour east of here go on lockdown yesterday because 22 caliber bullets were found on the floor in a couple of classrooms.

The high school I was at 2+ hours south of my home went in to lockdown today because the seniors went nuts! Trashed the place. It was quite scary to say the least. The kids were not fighting or such but they were off the wall. These young people just sometimes do not know how to control themselves sometimes and as parents we have the icky job of stepping in and helping them to not hurt themselves.

Life as we knew it as children, pretty much doesn't exist anymore.

 

[carley]

mom to mom.......... thumbs up...great job!

 

[luvthatdisney]

I work in a middle school and we actually see this alot (sad to say!). I really think alot of what is seen/heard on TV and heard in the home sometimes gets said in a joking manner by kids these days. The back and forth banter between kids can easily escalate into hollow threats (I am going to beat you up, I am going to shoot you, etc...). However, schools cannot treat these threats as that. They have to investigate each one that is brought to their attention. And they should be, to keep our kids safe.

In our state and I would assume most others, a "threat assessment" has to be done by the administrators and usually local police. Our school has a resource officer (off duty police) that will interview the child in question and any that witnessed the threat. The parents are then interviewed and it is determined if the child had the "means" to carry out the threat. Which would indicate if the child had access to any weapons. Punishment is usually out of school suspension for up to 10 days (that is the max a school here can give - would have to go before a special board if it needs to be longer).

Just wanted to throw that in to explain a little what happens behind the scenes at school. I know other states and private schools may not follow this process, but it is nice to see the priority schools give to keeping our kids safe. Most kids I have seen this in situation end up being very remorseful and had no clue those few words could get them into that much trouble.

School is just not like it was when I was in school (I graduated HS in 85')

 

[Pigeon]

I would call the principal and preface by saying, "John is a really good kid and a jokester, and I have no concerns that he actually meant what he said, but in this day and age, its like joking about bombs in an airport; you can't do it. Perhaps it would be a good idea if you talked to John and explained to him that someone could completely misinterpret what he said, could over react and it would cause him and his parents unnecessary trouble" This way the principal would not feel that you think John is a trouble maker or a troubled child, and he could let John know that it just isn't appropriate talk, even when he is kidding.

This.

In almost every single school shooting that has happened, some child or children at the school knew about it ahead of time because the child planning to bring a gun talked about it, but the other kid(s) said nothing, usually because they didn't think it would actually happen.

I'm not saying that John is serious about it, but should something happen, you'd never forgive yourself for not bringing it up.