Hang in there. I lost my dear GM 3 years ago & it took me a long time until I could think of her without crying. I used to turn her pictures in towards the wall because I cried when I saw them. Now I have many pictures of her around the house, and I touch them & smile & have wonderful, happy thoughts of her. I still miss her dearly, and I understand how hard it can be. But for me, as time passed I felt better, and I hope you will too.
Did your dear GM have any sisters? I urge you to get in touch with them if she did. Mine had 4, and I knew them but was never close with any of them. Since my GM's death I try to see them & keep in touch when I can (we all live a few hours apart) - I feel comfort being around them, and see parts of my GM in each of them. I really enjoy the time I spend with them.