I Hate Santa Spoilers!!

[islangrl]

Well, the charade is over! My oldest daughter knows the truth about Santa.
She is 11, and was on the fence last year, but I think she just really still wanted to believe.
Today one of her "mean girl" friends asked DD and 1 other friend if they believed in Santa. DD said no (just to save face), but other girl ("Ashley") said yes. Mean girl tells them, that Santa is not real, and her parents told her. I know that this is how kids usually find out, but it just made me so mad.
This came up because I asked DD if she wanted to go see Santa at the mall. She said Santa isn't real, and proceeded to tell me the story.
Poor "Ashley" just turned around and walked away and DD just stood there.

The story isn't unique, but what killed me is DD's reaction.
As she was telling me how Santa isn't real, she was trying to act all smart and tough. But I saw the quivering lip After a little more talking I noticed the tears building, which of course, got me all teary. Then the floodgates opened. DD was so, so upset and broken hearted. Both of us cried on the couch for a good 30 minutes just talking about Santa and the spirit of Christmas.
She is the oldest, and the first to stop believing. I'm just so sad that she is growing up.
Is it going to hurt me this much with the other 3?
How come no one warned me about this?

 

[All American]

Oh, that's terrible!

I hope she gets to feeling a little better soon and that she can always see and feel the magic of Christmas no matter what her friends may tell her.

 

[IndyBride]

I can't remember when I realized santa isn't real but I do enjoy buying stocking stuffers for my family. Why don't you try to involve her in that now. Tell her yes, Santa is not a real person but his spirit is inside us all (or whatever you think will get her excited about) and tell her she can help pick out some stocking stuffers for younger siblings. That way she can still be involved and help keep the spirit for your younger children. Then it can become a fun family tradition to be a part of instead of a dream shattering. Just a thought...

 

[TLSnell1981]

I never experienced that with my children. They came to me with doubts..... I let them know "if you don't believe....you don't receive". That was the reason the other "mean" kids didn't get gifts from Santa. Santa is part of the "magic" of Christmas. They are adults now and they still "receive" stockings from Santa.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I am surprised that she still believed at 11! Both my kids were stopped believing after christmas during the 3rd grade year and so did the majority of their friends.

 

[jenndisney]

I am sorry to hear your story. It is so sad when someone hurts our children.

My DD was 6 and staying at her dad's and stepmonsters house Christmas Eve. Christmas Morning I went to pick her up and she was just in tears and wanted to go home and not Grandma's for the day. My ex just said he would call me later and explain. DD explained that Santa did not bring her any gifts and nothing in her stocking. She said her stepmom said she must have not been good. He did bring for everyone else (including the dog). I tried to save it and say he brought them to grandma's instead, but she wouldn't even listen. I finally just told her the truth. I could not let her believe that this was her fault. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from killing that woman. I wanted to call my mom and have her buyout Walmart and Target, but thank goodness they were closed for the day!

 

[EpcotBeauty]

I am surprised that she still believed at 11! Both my kids were stopped believing after christmas during the 3rd grade year and so did the majority of their friends.

Same here. My 6 year old tells ME that Santa isn't real, he says Santa is like the characters at WDW....freakin' smart kid!! I hope my 2 year old has a few more years.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I, too, am really shocked that she still believed at 11. Most of the kids I've known stop between 6-8, because, well, Santa doesn't make any sense and kids are smart nowadays.
Sorry your daughter's friend upset her.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I am sorry to hear your story. It is so sad when someone hurts our children.

My DD was 6 and staying at her dad's and stepmonsters house Christmas Eve. Christmas Morning I went to pick her up and she was just in tears and wanted to go home and not Grandma's for the day. My ex just said he would call me later and explain. DD explained that Santa did not bring her any gifts and nothing in her stocking. She said her stepmom said she must have not been good. He did bring for everyone else (including the dog). I tried to save it and say he brought them to grandma's instead, but she wouldn't even listen. I finally just told her the truth. I could not let her believe that this was her fault. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from killing that woman. I wanted to call my mom and have her buyout Walmart and Target, but thank goodness they were closed for the day!

Oh.
My.
Goodness.

What did the witch have to say for herself? And your ex? Did you ever speak to them again? Did your daughter ever forgive them? I have to know what the relationship was like after this incredible act of cruelty. I think I would have beaten my ex to a pulp if he pulled that stunt! Fortunately, however, I have never not had my kids on Christmas morning. He knows I "do" Christmas better than he could so no matter where they are the rest of the day, they are always with me from bedtime on Christmas Eve through Christmas morning breakfast.

 

[Soarin08]

Well, the charade is over! My oldest daughter knows the truth about Santa.
She is 11, and was on the fence last year, but I think she just really still wanted to believe.
Today one of her "mean girl" friends asked DD and 1 other friend if they believed in Santa. DD said no (just to save face), but other girl ("Ashley") said yes. Mean girl tells them, that Santa is not real, and her parents told her. I know that this is how kids usually find out, but it just made me so mad.
This came up because I asked DD if she wanted to go see Santa at the mall. She said Santa isn't real, and proceeded to tell me the story.
Poor "Ashley" just turned around and walked away and DD just stood there.

The story isn't unique, but what killed me is DD's reaction.
As she was telling me how Santa isn't real, she was trying to act all smart and tough. But I saw the quivering lip After a little more talking I noticed the tears building, which of course, got me all teary. Then the floodgates opened. DD was so, so upset and broken hearted. Both of us cried on the couch for a good 30 minutes just talking about Santa and the spirit of Christmas.
She is the oldest, and the first to stop believing. I'm just so sad that she is growing up.
Is it going to hurt me this much with the other 3?
How come no one warned me about this?

I'm so sorry!!! to your DD!!!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I'm sorry that your dd is hurting about this.

My dd is also 11, and a couple of months ago, when her little sister lost a tooth, she outright asked me, "are you the tooth fairy?" I had to tell her the truth, to which she asked "how about the Easter Bunny?". Again I said yes. She seemed very proud of herself for figuring those out, but then got quiet and nervous and said she had one more to ask us, and asked if we were Santa. She also cried when I said yes.

I told her I know how hard it is to learn the truth, and I knew she was sad, but it sure was fun pretending, wasn't it? I told her we will always have "Santa" come, she can even help me be Santa for her little sister. That helped a little, and that very night, she was the tooth fairy for her little sister, and thought that was pretty cool.

Good luck, I hope she isn't too disappointed for too long.

 

[HunnyPots]

I, too, am surprised that she still believed at 11. It is sad that she was so upset though.

I always worried about something like that happening when my kids found out so I never tried too hard to make them believe. We always approached it as more of a game than an absolute fact. My dd had more of a sense of fantasy and for her it was "real" for much longer than for my son. I'm not sure he ever really believed after age 4 or 5 but he played along and had a good time.

I just always hated the idea of convincing my kids that something was real when we knew very well it was just a fantasy and someday they'd find out and feel betrayed...

 

[pfishgirl]

Oh.
My.
Goodness.

What did the witch have to say for herself? And your ex? Did you ever speak to them again? Did your daughter ever forgive them? I have to know what the relationship was like after this incredible act of cruelty. I think I would have beaten my ex to a pulp if he pulled that stunt! Fortunately, however, I have never not had my kids on Christmas morning. He knows I "do" Christmas better than he could so no matter where they are the rest of the day, they are always with me from bedtime on Christmas Eve through Christmas morning breakfast.

That is how it was with us too.. I ALWAYS had our son on Christmas Eve to Christmas Morn.. NO IFs, ANDs OR BUTs...

 

[pfishgirl]

I am sorry to hear your story. It is so sad when someone hurts our children.

My DD was 6 and staying at her dad's and stepmonsters house Christmas Eve. Christmas Morning I went to pick her up and she was just in tears and wanted to go home and not Grandma's for the day. My ex just said he would call me later and explain. DD explained that Santa did not bring her any gifts and nothing in her stocking. She said her stepmom said she must have not been good. He did bring for everyone else (including the dog). I tried to save it and say he brought them to grandma's instead, but she wouldn't even listen. I finally just told her the truth. I could not let her believe that this was her fault. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from killing that woman. I wanted to call my mom and have her buyout Walmart and Target, but thank goodness they were closed for the day!

Wow... What a Horrible Vile woman to do that to your poor daughter, and to think her own Dad let that "thing" to that to her and completely ruin her Christmas.... Poor kid

 

[camreesmom]

Oh.
My.
Goodness.

What did the witch have to say for herself? And your ex? Did you ever speak to them again? Did your daughter ever forgive them? I have to know what the relationship was like after this incredible act of cruelty. I think I would have beaten my ex to a pulp if he pulled that stunt! Fortunately, however, I have never not had my kids on Christmas morning. He knows I "do" Christmas better than he could so no matter where they are the rest of the day, they are always with me from bedtime on Christmas Eve through Christmas morning breakfast.

Us, too. No matter how much my ex and I have argued over the years, that is one thing that has never even had to be discussed. The boys are 17 and they are still home on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

I was really surprised one evening when DD9 came to me and said that some of her friends didn't believe in Santa but some did and she did too. She sounded like she really wanted to believe and so I told her that some kids just don't believe but even I still do. We still have stockings even for our older kids that are married. I fill everyone's stockings except mine.....DH does mine. Only DD9 and DD5 still believe and I think part of it is because the older kids still want them to believe so they haven't told them.

I am still just in shock about the stepmonster doing that and her dad allowing it. I'm on both sides of that situation, being a stepmom and my boys having a stepmom and I guarantee you that wouldn't go over well in either house! How on earth did her dad "explain" that one?????

 

[bumbershoot]

I am so so so glad that my family never did the Santa thing. We ALWAYS knew presents came from my mom, she never lied to us (we played it as a myth, so there were labels in her writing "from" Santa along with all the others from her), so we never had to find out the truth and get upset about it!

The holidays are even MORE magical when you're wondering how on EARTH your mom finished the tree, wrapped the presents, and put them all out, when your bedrooms are not 10 feet (brother's...mine was probably 5 feet) from the tree and your house was only 800 square feet and you're an awful sleeper (me, not my brother)! THAT is magic! (she was amazing)

 

[MushyMushy]

I am sorry to hear your story. It is so sad when someone hurts our children.

My DD was 6 and staying at her dad's and stepmonsters house Christmas Eve. Christmas Morning I went to pick her up and she was just in tears and wanted to go home and not Grandma's for the day. My ex just said he would call me later and explain. DD explained that Santa did not bring her any gifts and nothing in her stocking. She said her stepmom said she must have not been good. He did bring for everyone else (including the dog). I tried to save it and say he brought them to grandma's instead, but she wouldn't even listen. I finally just told her the truth. I could not let her believe that this was her fault. It took every ounce of willpower to keep from killing that woman. I wanted to call my mom and have her buyout Walmart and Target, but thank goodness they were closed for the day!

OMG, so how did your ex try to justify any of this? I guess he's your ex for a reason. What a jerk!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

DS was 11 last year, and I sat him down and told him (6th grade is end of the line in this house). He seemed cool about it, he even said he knew this the year before. I was so relieved!

Well, he had the worst Christmas ever! I thought he would have a great Christmas, because he got a lot of "teen" gifts. He is a asperger's kid, and Christmas day was horrendous. He had meltdown after meltdown. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. It wasn't until we went to his psychologist appointment that I realized what was wrong...... The Dr. helped me realize that he "grew" up in one morning. There is no santa, and he got all older gifts. He had a hard time not getting the younger toys, even though he doesn't play with them. He was upset that his younger brother got this or that, and that confused me, because he doesn't even play withthat stuff. It was a mess. Last Christmas was horrible. We have had a whole year of talking about it now, so I am hoping this Christmas will be better.

You know, the kid is so bright, and he talks like an adult...it is hard for me to remember that his brain doesn't process things the same way someone else would.

 

[Cindy B]

Count me as suprised at 11. I teach 8 year olds and most of them know about Santa as well. I want to say probably only one or two do believe while the rest of the class believes.

 

[LargoLori]

I'm sorry that your dd is hurting about this.

My dd is also 11, and a couple of months ago, when her little sister lost a tooth, she outright asked me, "are you the tooth fairy?" I had to tell her the truth, to which she asked "how about the Easter Bunny?". Again I said yes. She seemed very proud of herself for figuring those out, but then got quiet and nervous and said she had one more to ask us, and asked if we were Santa. She also cried when I said yes.

I told her I know how hard it is to learn the truth, and I knew she was sad, but it sure was fun pretending, wasn't it? I told her we will always have "Santa" come, she can even help me be Santa for her little sister. That helped a little, and that very night, she was the tooth fairy for her little sister, and thought that was pretty cool.

Good luck, I hope she isn't too disappointed for too long.

This is how it went down for my DD. First the Tooth Fairy,then The Easter Bunny and finally Santa. When we got to Santa the tears flowed. I think she was 9 or 10 at the time. It was sad but inevitable. OP I hope your DD is feeling better.