I don't want to complain to my friends in real life, but I think I might be depressed

[TruBlu]

I feel silly even typing this. But do you ever feel like you are just on a downward spiral? I am such an upbeat person. I am REALLY good at smiling thru my pain, tears, disappointments, etc. I think it is starting to get to me. My biggest problem is that I don't want to admit it.

 

[Christine]

I do get in spirals at times. Fortunately, they've never lasted longer than a week or so. I've had some tough disappointments that really get me down and they continue to linger. I'm not an "upbeat" person. Just more realistic. I think what actually helps me is that I don't smile through it all. I have one or two good friends that I dump on when it all happens and, while not immediate, it really does help.

I think you should try a different approach and maybe not fake your way through some of this...I don't mean to burden everyone but is there someone you have that can commisserate with you?

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Tracey - sending you a great big ole . Sorry you are going through all of this. I hope there is someone you can confide in and share with. I felt like that sometimes last year but my pity partys didnt last too long.

I hope your mom is doing well too. Don't forget to take care of you too! You are important. Sending you some encouragement: Phillipians 4:13. Blessings always.

 

[quasar4legs]

Sorry you are feeling a little down so I am sending you a BIG Koala cuddle
It is Ok to feel down sometimes and you don't always have to be 'upbeat'. Try to take some time out for you to do something that makes you feel better. My favourite is to take an apple and a good book into the bath and soak away my troubles for a little while.
I am sure your friends would want to offer you support if they knew how you were feeling, so don't be afraid to confide in someone that you know could help.

Hugs and I hope you feel better soon.
Quasar

 

[TruBlu]

Sorry you are feeling a little down so I am sending you a BIG Koala cuddle
It is Ok to feel down sometimes and you don't always have to be 'upbeat'. Try to take some time out for you to do something that makes you feel better. My favourite is to take an apple and a good book into the bath and soak away my troubles for a little while.
I am sure your friends would want to offer you support if they knew how you were feeling, so don't be afraid to confide in someone that you know could help.

Hugs and I hope you feel better soon.
Quasar

So funny.... you were probably typing this while I was soaking in a hot tub with a good book. It really did help.

 

[TruBlu]

I don't mean to burden everyone but is there someone you have that can commisserate with you?

I had a long talk with my boss this afternoon. I've worked for him for 20 years now. My Dad died young, and he's always reminded me of him. Talking to him really helped.

I hope your mom is doing well too. Don't forget to take care of you too! You are important. Sending you some encouragement: Phillipians 4:13. Blessings always.

Thank you SO MUCH! That is my favorite verse.

My mom is doing OK. They think her breast cancer may have spread to her spleen and possibly her stomach. But, worse than that, she now has colon cancer. The tumor was HUGE and blocking about 95% of her colon. They wouldn't let her leave the hospital. She needed a couple units of blood to get her strong enough for the surgery, but they were able to remove the tumor. Sadly, it has spread to her lymph nodes. They have to deal with it first before they can do anything about her spleen and stomach. We see the oncologist in the morning.

I've just been allowing myself to have a pity party.... my birthday was last week - all my friends forgot, my mom keeps my kids for me - now she can't, I've used all my leave at work when she was being treated for the breast cancer, so I can't help her as much as I should,.... my "poor me" list goes on and on.... I feel very selfish which makes me feel even worse.

But most of all I can't even think about loosing my mom. She's my best friend.

WOW.... I sure didn't mean to type all that. But, it kind of made me feel a little better.

 

[quasar4legs]

I am glad you were able to talk to your boss, it really can be helpful to have a chat with someone you trust.

You certainly have a lot on your plate at the moment and it is so hard caring for a sick parent. When my dad was ill, I can remember days when I did go through the motions but all I wanted to do was stay in bed and pull the covers over my head.

Best wishes and don't forget there all ways people here that are ready to 'listen' or send a cyber cuddle.

Quasar

 

[TruBlu]

Leaving now for the Oncologist. Wish us luck!

 

[quasar4legs]

Let us know it goes, thinking of you and your mum.

 

[treehugnmama]

it is so tough when a parent is ill. It is even harder when they watch the kids. When you need child care even more to help out your mom you have no child care....any way a friend or friends can help out with the child minding so you have one less thing on your mind.

 

[Floydian]

I can certainly understand the feelings, even though I'm not much of an upbeat person myself. I especially get how feeling bad makes it worse, because you don't feel like you "deserve" to feel bad.

Anyway, I hope that things go well for you, and that you are able to find the things in life that bring you peace and hope and joy.

 

[TruBlu]

I'm feeling better. The oncologist was very upbeat and encouraging. He doesn't give false hope, but he doesn't dwell on the bad either. He said that this new round of chemo will be harder on her blood counts, but will probably not make her as physically sick as the other stuff did. So, we all feeling a little better.