I don't like to post really personal things on the Dis...

[jajuan]

but, I don't know where to find an answer. I live in TX and DH and I have decided after 15 years to divorce. We have 4 kids and have agreed upon everything from child support to house, etc. We want to go through this as inexpensive as possible. I know people who spend 5000 each on a divorce. What is the best way to go about this? TIA for any information.

 

[CathrynRose]

but, I don't know where to find an answer. I live in TX and DH and I have decided after 15 years to divorce. We have 4 kids and have agreed upon everything from child support to house, etc. We want to go through this as inexpensive as possible. I know people who spend 5000 each on a divorce. What is the best way to go about this? TIA for any information.

My ex-hubby and I, as well as my g/f and her ex-hubby went through *1* lawyer....because we all agreed upon everything.

It cost (now, for me this was 10 years ago) $600 - and I think Lora wasnt much more....$750, $800???

Look into one lawyer.

And Im very sorry for whats going on for you, right now.

 

[happybratpack]

Sending you a PM.

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

No advice, but just jumping in so I can see what everyone has to say on this one!

 

[cardaway]

In my divorce with my first wife we agreed upon everything as well. It sounds risky, but it is possible to get only one lawyer if you trust that everything in those final papers will be acceptable to you when the time comes to sign them. We had it all down and agreed upon and the laywer wrote it all up officially. Went well and cost much less than having another look over what we knew we both agreed to anyway.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Of course I don't know your situation but I would like to say my brother and SIL said the same thing and now they are fighting with 2 lawyers.

He was foolish and moved out thinking they would divorce without problems.

Now she is suing for full custody, physical & legal. I would think a seperation agreement is a good thing? I don't know though. I hope you get some good advice here and I am sorry....{HUGS}

 

[mickeyboat]

Another alternative is to contact your local Family Court and see if they have any information on doing it all yourself. I have a friend who purchased a manual with forms through the Clerk's office and since they agreed on everything, she and her ex-H did it all themselves. I am not sure if this is an option you are comfortable with, or even if it is available, but I wanted to throw it out as an option.

Hugs for what you are going through.

Denae

 

[Sandy V.]

Tread VERY carefully here . . . there's a lot at stake with kids, house, retirement plans, etc.

What may seem as "as inexpensive as possible" up front may end up costing you for YEARS to come in what you didn't receive that you were entitled to because you didn't have an attorney of your own to lobby on your behalf to get it for you.

Not trying to scare you, but frankly I would never go through a divorce without my own attorney. You may think that you've agreed on everything possible without an issue and I sincerely hope that's true, but a positioning for $$ can reveal an ugly side to people. After all, there IS a reason that you are getting a divorce in the first place.

Good luck; I hope it all works out for you and your family.

 

[geffric]

There is an interesting article on CNN Money..



http://money.cnn.com/2006/01/05/pf/divorce.dj/index.htm

 

[chell]

Sorry that I can't help you but I did want to offer you a HUGE HUG!

 

[vettechick99]

Uncontested divorces are fairly inexpensive, often less than $1000. Mine was uncontested and the process was simple. Scary simple, actually. The ex and I got together, decided on who got what, etc -- his lawyer drew it up, mine looked it over and we both signed. Of course we didn't have kids, so I imagine yours will be trickier.

Good luck. I know this is a tough time for you and the whole family.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

My ex and I used one lawyer and not only did we have two children, we also owned a business together. Since Texas is a community property state, not too much can be argued about, as far as material possessions go.

We had everything, including the value of the business, hashed out before we went to the lawyer, so it was painless and easy.

This was five years ago, but I think we spent around $1k. You can do it yourself without a lawyer, but with children, I don't know if I'd recommend it.

 

[flgirl2u]

Just my two cents and hind sight being 20/20. Definately go through an attorney NOW because you'll spend twice as much down the road trying to get it fixed later or finding yourself totally out of luck. Think long and hard if the agreement is something you can live with for the next X number of years. Also what someone promisses to do now isn't necessarily what they will live up to. Make sure you have everything in writing and provisions in there for if the other person isn't honoring their end of the agreement. It's entirely possible to use one attorney and the fees vary.

 

[NMAmy]

My ex and I tried going through one attorney because we both agreed on everything. The attorney was a friend of both of ours and did everything pro bono and told my ex he would only do it if we agreed on EVERYTHING. He was friends with BOTH of us and refused to take sides. However, I ended up getting my own attorney when I found out my ex was lying about things to our orignal attorney.

Our first lawyer pal ended up dropping my ex as a client when he found out what he'd done and DH had to hire an attorney. I knew another attorney who did it pro bono for me. Who'd have thought someone could have TWO nice lawyer pals?

Just be very careful if you decide to use the same attorney. Make sure you are aware and agree with EVERYTHING in the paperwork.

 

[jajuan]

You guys are all great. I guess my biggest concern is spending 10000 (that is what it is costing a couple I know...they don't research enough and they aren't even fighting) on attny fees when that money could go to my kids college fund or something. We live in a big house so DH is buying me a smaller one so the kids and I have a place to live. I guess if we decide to do it this way, it will be a huge leap of faith. EVERYTHING could change when his parents find out Thank you all and I hope I am making sense when I type. I am not thinking too clearly...but trying to Thanks so much for all of the advise.

 

[Aidensmom]

Another alternative is to contact your local Family Court and see if they have any information on doing it all yourself. I have a friend who purchased a manual with forms through the Clerk's office and since they agreed on everything, she and her ex-H did it all themselves. I am not sure if this is an option you are comfortable with, or even if it is available, but I wanted to throw it out as an option.

Hugs for what you are going through.

Denae

This is what I did, only I got my manual for free online. My divorce cost was only the filing fee with the court. However, my ex-DH and I did not have any kids, and we were not in dispute over anything. With kids, I would want a lawyer with regards to custody, visitation, etc. But if your DH and you are in agreement on pretty much everything, I would go with just one lawyer.

 

[Sandy V.]

EVERYTHING could change when his parents find out

Boy, that's a huge red flag for me if you think his parents are going to cause trouble. Please get your own attorney; it will be $$ well spent.

 

[aprincessmom]

Some states require you to have separate lawyers. I would highly recommend it even if you and your soon-to-be ex agree on everything. The courts take the role of advocate for the children and will not care if you both agree on what you want to do. Their primary concern is that what is done benefits the children.

I went through a civilized and agreeable divorce -- we agreed on everything ahead of time -- and was glad I had my own attorney because some of the things we agreed upon were not allowed by law in our state so we had to go back to the drawing board. And I'm glad I had my own attorney to advocate for me and DD.