I don't get my friend... should SHE or HE concede... marriage? *Another UPDATE*

[AKL_Megs]

Weeeeeell. . . You could casually call up like your DH delivered some good news, "Hey! DH said your BF said you & he are trying to have a baby! Wow!"

Or I could give her a friendly reminder to refill her BC script!

No, I don't even think she would care. She would be on if she had a baby, I think. I say this because I can see it now.

 

[Imzadi]

No, I don't even think she would care. She would be on if she had a baby, I think. I say this because I can see it now.

Then maybe she wouldn't mind not having a big wedding after all either. Perhaps BF would rather spend the money on a baby than a wedding. Frugal people can think really strangely and make sense out of stuff other people think is ridiculous. Don't ask how I know.

 

[SiAmCrAzY]

If they are having trouble communicating and compromising now how are they going to survive the everyday problems that come up in a marriage? Let alone raising children together.

I am sorry you are in the middle of their issues, and I agree with the PP that you should try to stay out of it as much as possible. However ethically I think you should say something to her casually and in a congratulatory tone about trying to have a baby just to make sure she is aware of what is going on. I am sure there is a tactful way to go about this. Your husband may not appreciate it as it may put him in an awkward position. But IMO it would be better than to watch a friend of mine get tricked into having a child they may or may not be ready to have, with a man they may or may not truly want to be with.

Good luck!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't know about you OP, but my BS meter is going off about the stories that the BF is telling. Something is fishy about the whole entire thing. Staying out of it is probably the best thing you can do.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I don't know about you OP, but my BS meter is going off about the stories that the BF is telling. Something is fishy about the whole entire thing. Staying out of it is probably the best thing you can do.

It really is a bunch of BS at this point. I am seriously confused. I don't want to know any more about it, but I will promptly update if she ends up pregnant next month!

 

[minkydog]

I don't know about you OP, but my BS meter is going off about the stories that the BF is telling. Something is fishy about the whole entire thing. Staying out of it is probably the best thing you can do.

yeah, me too. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how he is trying to get her pregnant without her knowledge.

OP, I think you need to butt out of this. The whole thing sounds ridiculous and this man shouldn't be sharing details of his intimate life with you. Who cares if they get married or have a baby or retire? (and just so you know, DH is retired and we still have 2 kids at home, so it *can* be done.)

 

[AKL_Megs]

yeah, me too. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how he is trying to get her pregnant without her knowledge.

OP, I think you need to butt out of this. The whole thing sounds ridiculous and this man shouldn't be sharing details of his intimate life with you. Who cares if they get married or have a baby or retire? (and just so you know, DH is retired and we still have 2 kids at home, so it *can* be done.)

Ha, do you really want to know HOW? I am kidding. I guess it's TMI on his part, but he "let a little slip" is what he told my DH. Gross. TMI, TMI.,

Sounds illegal almost, LOL.

I AM trying to stay out, just thought I would update since this thread went so far from the ORIGINAL nonsense... now this. Now, it's pretty much entertainment.

 

[Imzadi]

I will promptly update if she ends up pregnant next month!

 

[Wishing on a star]

O..... M..... G......

WAY too much information!!!!

If she isn't on a contraceptive, and they are relying on the methods that I am guessing from this post...

And, a big WEDDING is what she is concerned about....

Has she never mentioned birth control with you????

This really does sound like a whole lot of bull.

 

[rie'smom]

This couple is a train wreck waiting to happen.

 

[AKL_Megs]

O..... M..... G......

WAY too much information!!!!

If she isn't on a contraceptive, and they are relying on the methods that I am guessing from this post...

And, a big WEDDING is what she is concerned about....

Has she never mentioned birth control with you????

This really does sound like a whole lot of bull.

I am trying to recall, but I really can't.

These are the strangest two friends we have. Sometimes, when I am talking with him, I honestly think I am talking to an alien!

 

[FireDancer]

Well, if she gets pregnant, I would think she may be a little more inclined to get married, with or without the big wedding. However, he doesn't sound like much of a prize if he is trying to get her pregnant without her knowledge.

Um, short of roofies how would a man go about getting a woman pregnant without her knowledge? A girl could just stop taking her pill but a guy can't pretend to wear a condom.

Now, if they are going with the old "pulling the goalie" trick they are both idiots.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

I had my dream wedding through a ton of hard work, budgetting, and making things like favors, invitations, save the dates, and everything else, by myself. I loved it - it was the best day of my life, and it was well within our limits.

I thought that I wanted the big wedding.

Honestly... by the end of the day... things always fall apart and just don't work. No wedding is 100% error-free. I didn't let it bother me - I just wanted to be with my prince. That's what a marriage is supposed to be about! We could have done it with no one but the witnesses, in a court house, for all I care. I married him - that's what I wanted.

The fact that it all worked out so amazingly well is just an added bonus

 

[Luv2trav]

This story is strange. I can see how a woman can "trick" a man into getting pregnant but not the other way around unless the woman was on board with it? or had a lapse in judgement Either way she would know she was playing with fire..

My guess is they are both playing with fire and are OK with it. Maybe they have great communication with each other but not with everyone else...

 

[PaulaSB12]

O. M. G.

I just don't know what to think of this WHOLE situation now!

My DH, in conversation today, told me that HE (the guy) really wants to have a baby, and that he is TRYING to get her pregnant!

Apparently, he "tried" to get her pregnant last night! I have NO CLUE if she is on birth control, or if she knows of his plans.

HOW can you want to spend money for 18 YEARS on a child, but you won't pay for a wedding to marry the GIRL!

Now I am totally, 100% confused.

How do you plan to retire in 10 years, and have a 10 year old? Now THAT would be a total kink in the plan! (Or maybe it IS the plan. Could his plan be to retire and have fun with the kid?) OMG, so confused.

He is scared she is going to bolt and wants to try and force her to have some sort of a relationship even if its only through the child. I think she needs to grow up get a job and RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

O. M. G.

I just don't know what to think of this WHOLE situation now!

My DH, in conversation today, told me that HE (the guy) really wants to have a baby, and that he is TRYING to get her pregnant!

Apparently, he "tried" to get her pregnant last night! I have NO CLUE if she is on birth control, or if she knows of his plans.

HOW can you want to spend money for 18 YEARS on a child, but you won't pay for a wedding to marry the GIRL!

Now I am totally, 100% confused.

How do you plan to retire in 10 years, and have a 10 year old? Now THAT would be a total kink in the plan! (Or maybe it IS the plan. Could his plan be to retire and have fun with the kid?) OMG, so confused.

Now this is on the express train to disaster. Oh my.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Um, short of roofies how would a man go about getting a woman pregnant without her knowledge? A girl could just stop taking her pill but a guy can't pretend to wear a condom.

Now, if they are going with the old "pulling the goalie" trick they are both idiots.

You poke a hole in the condom and oops, if it tears it was a defective condom. The hole will work even if it doesn't tear.

 

[FireDancer]

You poke a hole in the condom and oops, if it tears it was a defective condom. The hole will work even if it doesn't tear.

But I have never pre-opened and staged a condom. Wouldn't she notice him opening it, poking it with a needle or some other sharp device, and then putting it on?

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I think it can be done before it's opened. And if he's quick about it, she probably wouldn't notice, it wouldn't take that long.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

OMG...I thought these 2 were a piece of work when I first read the thread, but now.... They really need to sit down and have a long talk about their hopes, dreams and goals, before they bring an innocent child into this fiasco. If they can't agree on a big wedding, small wedding or no wedding, how on EARTH are they going to agree on all the aspects and challenges of raising a child. That is hard even when you ARE on the same page!

OP, keep us posted, I'm getting some for the rest of this!