I am a big mean mom..

[lancermom]

I absolutely will let her get her license. I have no problem with it. After she's had it for a while and has been out with my dad and brother I'll consider letting her try our car. I wouldn't feel comfortable with her driving it while she's brand new to driving though.

Do your dad and brother live with you? Because it's a bit inconvenient for someone to get good driving experience, and a lot of it, if the only car they are permitted to drive is not easily available. When my daughter was learning, she learned and got her hours by driving my husband and I everywhere. Whenever we went somewhere, she drove. What kind of car do you have that you are so certain a 17 year old can't handle it?

 

[kimblebee]

Do your dad and brother live with you? Because it's a bit inconvenient for someone to get good driving experience, and a lot of it, if the only car they are permitted to drive is not easily available. When my daughter was learning, she learned and got her hours by driving my husband and I everywhere. Whenever we went somewhere, she drove. What kind of car do you have that you are so certain a 17 year old can't handle it?

It's an old Grand Prix with a modified engine in it. Believe me, it's very powerful and temperamental.

Also, I'm her mom. I know her better than anyone.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

It's an old Grand Prix with a modified engine in it. Believe me, it's very powerful and temperamental.

Also, I'm her mom. I know her better than anyone.

We always think we know our children better than anyone but most of the time that's just not true. We often don't give our children the credit they deserve based on our fears of them growing up. We see their vulnerabilities and we become biased based on them. It's hard to let them fly but it's in everyone's best interest.

Just make sure you aren't digging in your heels just to be stubborn and right.

 

[lancermom]

It's an old Grand Prix with a modified engine in it. Believe me, it's very powerful and temperamental.

Also, I'm her mom. I know her better than anyone.

I guess I am confused how she is exactly is going to get much driving experience if you won't let her drive your car until some time after she gets her license and is only allowed to go out driving in cars belonging to people who I presume do not live with you.

 

[HarperLeigh]

I guess I am confused how she is exactly is going to get much driving experience if you won't let her drive your car until some time after she gets her license and is only allowed to go out driving in cars belonging to people who I presume do not live with you.

Not to mention, does she even have a job to pay for this expense? Not allowing her to drive is more than likely preventing her from making money, which makes her unable to pay for the costs associated with driving.

 

[kimblebee]

We always think we know our children better than anyone but most of the time that's just not true. We often don't give our children the credit they deserve based on our fears of them growing up. We see their vulnerabilities and we become biased based on them. It's hard to let them fly but it's in everyone's best interest.

Just make sure you aren't digging in your heels just to be stubborn and right.

Not to mention, does she even have a job to pay for this expense? Not allowing her to drive is more than likely preventing her from making money, which makes her unable to pay for the costs associated with driving.

I said in my op that she has a job. I've also said that we have a good transportation system. Driving a car is not a necessity.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Reading through this thread I realize I have quite different views than most. I believe driving is a privilege, not a right. I don't feel I have to pay for every extra my child wants (cell phones, and cars are not necessities). I also don't believe the pressure to drive and make split-second, life-changing decisions should be placed on most teenagers. I waited until my early 20's to drive and will encourage my kids to do the same. (and yes, I grew up in the country with no transit and my parents did not taxi me around)

 

[luvsJack]

Reading through this thread I realize I have quite different views than most. I believe driving is a privilege, not a right. I don't feel I have to pay for every extra my child wants (cell phones, and cars are not necessities). I also don't believe the pressure to drive and make split-second, life-changing decisions should be placed on most teenagers. I waited until my early 20's to drive and will encourage my kids to do the same. (and yes, I grew up in the country with no transit and my parents did not taxi me around)

Lol. You obviously live in a very different kind of area than I do. Cars are very much a necessity. Well if parents of active kids want to keep their sanity. Just getting to and from school requires transportation if your kid is any activity. Could they have rode with other kids? Sure but I trust my kids above all others.

 

[kimblebee]

Lol. You obviously live in a very different kind of area than I do. Cars are very much a necessity. Well if parents of active kids want to keep their sanity. Just getting to and from school requires transportation if your kid is any activity. Could they have rode with other kids? Sure but I trust my kids above all others.

We're lucky that way. We live close to her school..about a 10 minute walk. We also live 5 minutes from a bus stop that will get us downtown where we can transfer if we need. The bus runs every 10 minutes too so it's pretty regular and reliable.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I said in my op that she has a job. I've also said that we have a good transportation system. Driving a car is not a necessity.

I live in a big city with a great (sometimes) transportation system but driving is still a very valuable skill, I think.

I think you should re evaluate your position on this. Your daughter is looking for your support and this is an opportunity to show her that she can do it and you will help her achieve her goals.

 

[kimblebee]

I live in a big city with a great (sometimes) transportation system but driving is still a very valuable skill, I think.

I think you should re evaluate your position on this. Your daughter is looking for your support and this is an opportunity to show her that she can do it and you will help her achieve her goals.

Give me a break. I said I wouldn't pay for it, not that I don't support her.

Keep fishing..I'm sure someone will fall for your bait at some point.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Give me a break. I said I wouldn't pay for it, not that I don't support her.

Keep fishing..I'm sure someone will fall for your bait at some point.

Hmm. I have no idea why you feel the need to be rude to me. I'm actually trying to help. Whatever.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I never thought of Winnipeg transit as being a good system. I guess it's okay but it's not great.

 

[lancermom]

Give me a break. I said I wouldn't pay for it, not that I don't support her.

Keep fishing..I'm sure someone will fall for your bait at some point.

You say you support her, but you aren't going to make it easy. Fine, so you don't pay for it and she does. She still needs the driving time. Don't students have to have a certain amount of hours to get their license? Where I live, you need 60 hours of in-car experience including a certain amount of night driving, to get your license. I know that would have been way too hard to do if we didn't let our daughter drive our car (like I said before, she drove us everywhere) and had to rely on others to take her out.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

@kimblebee Am I missing something? You said she can take her test and get her license, but she has to pay for it, right? And that you don't want her driving your car until she's more experienced? Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding any of that.

I'm baffled as to why you're getting such a strong push back. You haven't said you don't think she should drive at all, just that you're not paying for the expenses of it. People can disagree with that, but telling your child they have to pay for their own driving test/ license does not make you a bad parent. And not driving your car? If she has a job, can't she start putting money aside to save for her OWN car? I know plenty of parents who don't want their teens driving their cars, either because of how nice/expensive the car is, it's temperamental or not safe enough, or simply because if it gets wrecked (which happens too often with new drivers), then the parent is left without transportation to get to work, etc.

I just don't get some of these responses.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

@kimblebee Am I missing something? You said she can take her test and get her license, but she has to pay for it, right? And that you don't want her driving your car until she's more experienced? Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding any of that.

I'm baffled as to why you're getting such a strong push back. You haven't said you don't think she should drive at all, just that you're not paying for the expenses of it. People can disagree with that, but telling your child they have to pay for their own driving test/ license does not make you a bad parent. And not driving your car? If she has a job, can't she start putting money aside to save for her OWN car? I know plenty of parents who don't want their teens driving their cars, either because of how nice/expensive the car is, it's temperamental or not safe enough, or simply because if it gets wrecked (which happens too often with new drivers), then the parent is left without transportation to get to work, etc.

I just don't get some of these responses.

I'd say, yes, you are missing 204 different responses.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

We hands down had no doubt about paying for our daughters driving lessons and test.

Driving is a very serious privilege as a teenager. It should be treated no different than gaining important instruction and practice, as any other serious task. Driving any vehicle is a powerful machine, that in a flash can seriously harm or even kill passengers, other cars, other drivers or herself. Why in the world would you not take her request as a sign that she understands how serious this practice is and is asking in a mature way for help ?


In my opinion, most parents are better off having professional teachers instruct learners. It needs to be an un-bias person toward the learner. Adults tend to loose their ability to stay calm while instructing learners and it can cause some family ******* to the point where the learner no longer asks for help. It's got to be someone who can be honest but firm and still a good instructor without the learner feeling like they are in "trouble" with Uncle Booby and he's going to go tell mom how awful she did. Just because somebody has been driving for a long time doesn't mean they are a "good" driver or that the follow the rules of the road.

 

[bdcp]

I find it interesting that the OP asked for opinions and then when she didn't get the answer she thought she was going to get, she basically said she didn't care what everyone's opinion was. Driving is only a privilege because it can be easily taken away, unlike a right, but the reality is, it's a necessity for many and to not be able to drive makes someone more dependent on others than they need to be.

And, just because you currently live where there's a good transportation system doesn't mean that she will always live where there's one. Kids go to college, get jobs in other cities and even other countries so the fact there's good public transportation where she is now, shouldn't have any impact on her learning to drive. It's much easier to learn when you are 16 or 17 than it is when you're 25 or 30.

 

[kimblebee]

@kimblebee Am I missing something? You said she can take her test and get her license, but she has to pay for it, right? And that you don't want her driving your car until she's more experienced? Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding any of that.

I'm baffled as to why you're getting such a strong push back. You haven't said you don't think she should drive at all, just that you're not paying for the expenses of it. People can disagree with that, but telling your child they have to pay for their own driving test/ license does not make you a bad parent. And not driving your car? If she has a job, can't she start putting money aside to save for her OWN car? I know plenty of parents who don't want their teens driving their cars, either because of how nice/expensive the car is, it's temperamental or not safe enough, or simply because if it gets wrecked (which happens too often with new drivers), then the parent is left without transportation to get to work, etc.

I just don't get some of these responses.

Nope, you summed it up perfectly.


There's always threads here around Christmas filled with people saying that they count toothpaste and deodorant as Christmas presents. That's not something I do, but they're not my kids so it's not my business. If the thread asks specific questions I give my opinion.

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me, I'm the one who asked the questions. But, calling my parenting into question is just troll behaviour that gets ignored.

 

[HarperLeigh]

@kimblebee Am I missing something? You said she can take her test and get her license, but she has to pay for it, right? And that you don't want her driving your car until she's more experienced? Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding any of that.

I'm baffled as to why you're getting such a strong push back. You haven't said you don't think she should drive at all, just that you're not paying for the expenses of it. People can disagree with that, but telling your child they have to pay for their own driving test/ license does not make you a bad parent. And not driving your car? If she has a job, can't she start putting money aside to save for her OWN car? I know plenty of parents who don't want their teens driving their cars, either because of how nice/expensive the car is, it's temperamental or not safe enough, or simply because if it gets wrecked (which happens too often with new drivers), then the parent is left without transportation to get to work, etc.

I just don't get some of these responses.

She can't get her license without actually driving a car. She has to practice.