Husband fed up with Kitty!

[scottishduffy]

DH and I have had a wonderful kitty for ~4 yrs. The cat is about 8 yrs old by our best guess. We got him from another person who could not keep him.

Well, we noticed early on that kitty had digestive issues. He was prone to frequent UTI's. We fixed that by putting him on a urinary tract formula food. We then noticed he would poo outside his litter box on a fairly regular basis. Him pooping in our apartment usually conicided with times when kitty had been left alone for some length of time.

We put him on only dry food (that helped decrease it some), spent more time with kitty, got more toys for amusement, got multiple litter boxes, covered furniture which kitty has ruined so he can't poo/pee there, both boxes cleaned/scooped on a regular basis. Vet has not found anything wrong with kitty. Cat still poops outside the box *at least* every other week.

Today we had been away for the weekend. He had been alone for one night, during which we had my in-laws come to play with him for about 45 minutes. The apartment was clean last night when we got home but this morning Kitty as pooped in multiple places throughout the apartment.

DH is fed up. He wants to re-home the kitty. This cat has ruined two sofas and several rugs. We will be moving to a new place in December which is all carpet and DH is worried the cat will ruin that apartment. We have tried many things to try and fix this but it doesn't help. Kitty is going to the vet again today to see if anything turns up. I am upset about the thought of re-homing kitty... I don't want to... but I also see DH's side of things. This cat has been an out-of-box pooper for 4 yrs.

Can we crate him during the day? But what sort of life is that for a cat? I am wondering if crating him when we are not home may be a soltuion DH and I can agree upon as it would save the mess but allow kitty to stay. DH is particulary upset about this because I am pregnant and because we will be moving to a new home without tile floors. I don't wanna be the person who has a child then re-homes the pet. Kitty is family to me. But what else can I do to help my kitty behave better?

ETA: DH states he is willing to pay for any medical treatment Kitty may need. He is willing to try and help the kitty, but is extremely frustrated over the mess in the apartment. Kitty will be getting another thorough check-up this afternoon but prior vet visits have not found anything wrong with him.

 

[Magpie]

I'm glad you're consulting with a vet about possible medical causes!

We thought one of our kitties had a behavioural problem, because she would poop outside the box. It took our vet quite awhile to figure out, but eventually he diagnosed her with Kidney Disease. Basically, it causes her to become constipated. Since it's an effort to poop, and since standing in a box for a long time isn't very nice, she would go outside the box. Also, she may have developed bad associations with the box and pooping, since constipation hurts.

We worked on all sorts of angles over the years, behavioural and diet changes. Using de-scenter to clean and making the box as easily accessible as possible, and putting boxes in her "favourite" corners helped a fair bit - but it didn't solve the problem completely. We also ended up putting boot trays and linoleum sheets under all the boxes, because sometimes she'd poop right beside the box. If you talk to the folks at your vet clinic and local pet store, they often have useful suggestions to try (different litters, re-training, etc...).

She died just before last Christmas at the ripe old age of 18 (with a good 6 years of dodgy cat box usage behind her), and I take a lot of comfort from the fact that we did our best to make her final years comfortable ones. It wasn't her fault she got sick, after all!

Oh, and about crating... if you put toys and make the crate comfortable, and let him out in the evenings when you can keep an eye on him, I don't see that it will do your cat any harm. After all, they sleep something like 18 hours a day! And it's kinder than a new home, or worse - putting him down.

 

[DizBelle]

If you do re-home the cat, don't get another one. Your DH is not a pet person at all and neither him nor the cat would be happy living in a home together.

I would say that if your cat is pooping outside the box only once every other week, you should consider yourself lucky. If you can't tolerate that, just don't have pets.

 

[SueInBoston]

If you do re-home the cat, don't get another one. Your DH is not a pet person at all and neither him nor the cat would be happy living in a home together.

I would say that if your cat is pooping outside the box only once every other week, you should consider yourself lucky. If you can't tolerate that, just don't have pets.

Really? I've had my cat for 8 years and she may've poop outside of her box once or twice.

OP, I just want you to know that not ALL cats poop outside of their box.

 

[minkydog]

I sympathize with you. It sounds like you've done a lot to try to solve this situation. I can't really blame your DH for being frustrated and sick of the situation. I don't think that makes him bad or not a pet person. Who wants their house to smell like a cat box? I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted to give you some support. It's a difficult situation. I feel bad for all of you.

 

[jmpurdy]

aside from any issues about the cat's health, you can try a few things. Limit the cat to a small area at first. Start over-- in other words with how far cat can go from litter box. Large crate at first, fine. They have nice wire ones that have shelves in them and plenty of room for litter box, bedding, etc. Keep cat out when you are home to supervise. Close all bedroom doors and cat can't have access to bedrooms when out of crate and supervised. back in crate at nite or when not home. If you have a lid on litter box, remove it asap. Don't listen to anyone else about this.
Get another litter box. Offer 2 boxes. they can be exactly the same, side by side, but offer TWO and clean them every day without fail.
Once cat remains litter box perfect in the above circumstances, you can try to keep cat out of crate while you go get a coffee and return within 15 minutes an see what happens. If the cat poops out of box, begin the crating again and only uncrate when you are there. Best of luck and send any questions. Am a tech in a feline only hospital.

 

[scottishduffy]

I sympathize with you. It sounds like you've done a lot to try to solve this situation. I can't really blame your DH for being frustrated and sick of the situation. I don't think that makes him bad or not a pet person. Who wants their house to smell like a cat box? I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted to give you some support. It's a difficult situation. I feel bad for all of you.

Thanks Minky. That helps.

I am sitting here waiting to get flamed by the almighty DIS because I am aware threads like this rarely go well. I figured it was worth getting yelled at if I was able to get some helpful advice somewhere. I appreciate the support.
It just makes it tougher when both of us have legitimate reasons for wanting kitty to stay or go.

DH actually loves cats. He grew up in a house with many cats. Always had 2-3 cats at a time growing up but this is his first experience with a poopy cat.

 

[scottishduffy]

aside from any issues about the cat's health, you can try a few things. Limit the cat to a small area at first. Start over-- in other words with how far cat can go from litter box. Large crate at first, fine. They have nice wire ones that have shelves in them and plenty of room for litter box, bedding, etc. Keep cat out when you are home to supervise. Close all bedroom doors and cat can't have access to bedrooms when out of crate and supervised. back in crate at nite or when not home. If you have a lid on litter box, remove it asap. Don't listen to anyone else about this.
Get another litter box. Offer 2 boxes. they can be exactly the same, side by side, but offer TWO and clean them every day without fail.
Once cat remains litter box perfect in the above circumstances, you can try to keep cat out of crate while you go get a coffee and return within 15 minutes an see what happens. If the cat poops out of box, begin the crating again and only uncrate when you are there. Best of luck and send any questions. Am a tech in a feline only hospital.

Currently we have two boxes for him. Both have lids to prevent him from flinging litter about, but if that is bas for hi I will take the tops off.

I think we may be headed the Crate route when we move to the new apartment. Or perhaps just keeping him in the 2nd bathroom with his litter boxes, toys, and food whe we can not be there to supervise him. I feel bad locking him up, but this will hopefully ease DH's worries about kitty messing up our new home. What size crate do I need for a kitty?

Kitty already is banned from all bedrooms and carpetted areas. In our current apartment he has run of the living room, dining room, patio (one box), and guest bathroom (which is where his main box is).

 

[jmpurdy]

take lids off, even if it is messy. Cats do not go in caves in the wild. They go out in the open to see their surroundings. Believe it or not, some cats get a fright ONE time inside the covered box and it stays with them as behavioral. Could be a thump, a shoe in a dryer, a siren, anything. Remove them. Don't put as much litter in the box. Some cats like less litter. If you only change boxes every other day, do it every day. If you only do it once a day, do it twice a day. Some cats are ridiculously meticulous about their boxes. You can use one of those boot trays under the box to catch any litter the cat flings around. I feel your pain about that, but small price to pay if it works. Large crate if that is the route you will take. They are about 2 feet long and high with 2 shelves so cat can go UP, which they really like. Plenty of room on the bottom for the litter box and a bed. remove the lids today, you might get lucky with just that and cleaning boxes twice a day. Watch the cat like a hawk. Put in bathroom when you leave if you just want to try that + removing the lids from boxes and containing him in bathroom while you are gone (with a box of course). Try it for short periods. And I'd board him when you go away. Rarely do boarding cats pee/poop in their cages when they board with us because they don't want to live in it so to speak.

 

[okeydokey]

I think the kitty would be hard to rehome. I know you don't generally crate cats, but maybe a large crate would help when you are out. I would be frustrated too.

All out cats are indoor only, but is there an outside space he could use safely? A screen porch maybe?

 

[akcire]

If our litter box is not perfectly clean, our cat will balance on the edge and hang his butt outside the box and poop onto the floor. This has gone one for years. We keep an indoor/outdoor rug under the litter box, which is in an unfinished basement laundry room, so it's not that big of a deal. If the box is clean to his standards, he uses the box properly. What can I say--I don't like to use a dirty bathroom....

Also he maybe having issues with the brand of litter. We actually have a cat that is allergic to litter. We always thought it was cute how our cat would sneeze. The cats got into a big fight with each other, and one of the cats ripped out part of his claw. When we drove him to the vet, they trimmed it up and advised not to use the clumping litter for a couple of weeks to allow it to heal. We were also instructed to clean the wound daily. Well during that time we noticed our cat stopped sneezing. So we did some investigating and figured out it was the litter causing the sneezing, now we only use Yesterday's News. I bet the cat wished we had figured this out 5 years earlier!

At this point if my husband told me he wanted to get rid of one of our cats, I would seriously consider getting rid of the husband; but I really like our 2 cats. I am told by some older women that as men age, they tend to miss the toilet while urinating--my aunt even put newspaper on the floor around the toilet until her husband got the hint and started to sit. I wonder if your husband would recommend getting rid of himself if he had a similar problem?

 

[loveysbydesign]

Try Feliway spray...ti works wonders!!!!!!!!!
we had similar issues with a bengal we rescued and the only thing that helped her was feliway spray. Amazon has it the cheapest!

 

[jobhunter]

This is a tough situation. Are you keeping his boxes ultra-clean? Some cats are super fastidious.

Another thing, your vet may can treat this with something like valium or kitty prozac. Talk to your doctor about that. Our cat had to go on valium for spraying and she was great on it. She was not drugged or subdued, just very relaxed and normal. There are a lot of preconceptions about these meds and people saying "I would never do that to my cat." But every cat is different and your cat may react beautifully, and if it keeps him in a good home and pulls you guys back from the brink of losing it, it's a great solution.

The problem with rehoming...if you give this cat away, you have to be honest about the issue. Reason #1 if it is a friend, it would be very inconsiderate to lie about the issue because chances are the behavior will continue. Reason #2 if it is a stranger and behavior repeats, then they will call you upset and want to give the cat back. All this to say, with full disclosure it is going to be very difficult (if not impossible) to rehome a house-soiling cat. If you can't deal anymore and you love him and have a long-term relationship with him, imagine how a new family will react. What would a person's motivation be to adopt a cat like this when there are so many out there? It's just such a tough situation to be in and I sympathize!!

My comments are NOT judgment or flaming, believe me, I know how bad this situation sucks for all involved!!! Cats can be seriously challenging at time with the bathroom stuff

 

[scottishduffy]

We currently have a screened in patio which Kitty enjoys but will not have one when we move. Kitty is currently hanging out on the patio after his morning escapade.

We have two boxes with two types of litter. One is Natural/Organic litter and the other is a regular litter as the vet had previously recommended trying seperate texture of litters along with the two boxes.

We have tried feliway before and it did nothing for him. That was the very first thing we tried when he started messing up furniture but it didn't work. So now we just keep plastic covers on the furniture when we aren't home.

I will try taking the lid off his boxes to see if that helps him. I will also do a really thorough scrub down of his litter boxes this evening. We usually change the litter and scoop several times a week and do a deep clean on the box every 2-3 weeks.

 

[jmpurdy]

yup, definitely try the lids off and clean boxes twice a day. This may do the trick entirely. We've seen it time and time again....

 

[Polyluvr]

OP I don't have any advice just a for you!

My DH loves animals but that scenario would send him over the edge~ I hope the vet came help you finally figure this problem out.

Good luck to you all

 

[Disney Doll]

I would also confine the cat to a space that wouldn't be too damaged by soiling, such as the bathroom, when you are not home.

 

[Scurvy]

OP, since the cat had frequent UITs it might associate the litterbox with pain. Making significant changes to the litterbox might help with that.
as others have suggested, try taking the lids off, using different kinds of litter and cleaning the litter boxes as often as possible. Going back to the vet is also a good idea, kitty prozac might help or perhaps there really is an issue such as constipation or infection. Also give Feliway a try - it can't hurt and might help.

This is sort of disgusting but are you sure it's poop? Cat poop doesn't all look exactly the same, and sometimes cat vomit and cat poop can look suprisingly similar, especially if the cat has hairballs. One of my cats is very prone to hairballs and he throws up around the house sometimes and there are times when I would think it was poop if I didn't already know about his issues.

Something to keep in mind if you decide to rehome the cat is that you would be getting rid of the rid for a reason that would cause most people to not want the cat. Unless you are giving the cat to an individual who is aware of the problem and willing to take on the cat despite that issue, then "rehoming" will likely be a death sentence for the cat. A shelter is not going to be able to find a cat like that a home. Personally, I think a life where the cat spends part of the day in a crate or bathroom with lots of toys, food and water and part of the day in the house with people is better than no life at all.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

DH and I have had a wonderful kitty for ~4 yrs. The cat is about 8 yrs old by our best guess. We got him from another person who could not keep him.

Well, we noticed early on that kitty had digestive issues. He was prone to frequent UTI's. We fixed that by putting him on a urinary tract formula food. QUOTE]

My freind has a cat like this. The vet figured out that the cat was stressed about being left alone. He ended up putting the cat on a anxity med and the pooping stopped. Now the cat only does it when my freiend brings her aunt home.

 

[scottishduffy]

UPDATE:

Well, DH come home for lunch and we discussed Kitty quite seriously. DH is more than willing to confine Kitty in our new apartment and keep him that way. However, we had a serious discussion about what may be best for kitty.

Kitty's current life: Screened in patio that he loves. Would spend all night and half the day out there if he could. Tends to poop when left home alone which is tough since both DH and I work. Does better when he has enough attention and time outside to play.

Kitty's life to be (Option A): Confined in a guest bathroom for at least 12 hours out of a day between work and sleep when we cant see him. No back Patio anymore. Most likely less attention than now due to work schedules and newborn.

Kitty's Life to be (Option B): DH apparently discussed out plgiht with the in-laws. They regularly babysit Kitty for us and know all about him. They volunteered to take him. They have a large fenced in backyard (so even though Kitty is declawed he could be outside there). There would let him be indoor/outdoor in the backyard like other felines they have had. They have one other very submissive 16 yr old cat and MIL has been looking for a new kitty for awhile. Kitty would have more room to roam, wouldn't be confined.... but he wouldn't be mine anymore. FIL is retired and he would get far more attention.

I have been crying over this. I don't want to give Kitty away.... I love him dearly. But it also feels inhumane to confine him to a crate or bathroom when my in-laws (who know him) want him and would give him a large yard to play in.

Kitty will be staying with in-laws during month of December anyway while we move. Do I take him to Orlando when we move for a test run to see how he adjusts to being confined? Or do I just leave him with the in-laws if he seems happy. I am torn up. I feel so horrible for thinking about giving up my kitty, but I wonder if he would be happier at the inlaws. What to do....

I love him, but i don't know if I am the best option for him.