how would you handle this?

[cheermom1]

this just had this happened ..dd wants to go to the school for a basketball game..ok no prob. how are you going to get there I ask..she sd so and so is taking me and bringing me back..now so n so is someone I don't really like for a bunch of reasons but the biggest is that so n so has a parent that is on the sex offenders list...I tell dd that I am not comfortable with that at all and offer to take her..dd wants her freedom and go with so n so...what to do???

 

[usnuzuloose]

my answer is no! Please say your not serious!

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Who is doing the driving? the friend or the parent? My instinct is to say do not make a child pay for the sins of the father. I would not allow my child to be in the Father's company....but I wouldn't keep my child from his child strictly because of him. Is there any other reason you don't like the friend?

 

[cheermom1]

Who is doing the driving? the friend or the parent? My instinct is to say do not make a child pay for the sins of the father. I would not allow my child to be in the Father's company....but I wouldn't keep my child from his child strictly because of him. Is there any other reason you don't like the friend?

So n so will be driving not the parent ...no the other reasons is b/c so n so has issues with fighting and wanting to start fights even with my dd...the whole family has issues stemming from what the parent has done...

 

[cheermom1]

my answer is no! Please say your not serious!

No I serious...

I did say no...I just wanted others opinions..no offense for so n so but all I could think is that what if my dd wasn't being taken to the school....

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Whew. Tough stuff. Hard on the child of the sex offender to be sure.

However, you didn't cause that situation, but you can do everything in your power to be sure your child doesn't become a victim of some "situation."

I'd have to say no too. No other responsible choice, really.

 

[cheermom1]

Who is doing the driving? the friend or the parent? My instinct is to say do not make a child pay for the sins of the father. I would not allow my child to be in the Father's company....but I wouldn't keep my child from his child strictly because of him. Is there any other reason you don't like the friend?

on a side note I didn't say it was the father

I didn't catch that till now..

 

[JerseyJanice]

Always trust your mother's instinct about who your children spend time with. Better safe than sorry, for one thing.

For another, when you say "no," your kids have to believe it really means "no."

 

[dislaney]

I would say no and offer to drive her myself like it sounds like you did.

 

[cheermom1]

I would say no and offer to drive her myself like it sounds like you did.

she ended up calling another friend and they took her --I guess she didn't want to seen with mom???

 

[laurie31]

Freedom is one thing, being in the company of someone you don't like/trust is another.

You might trust your DD implicitly, but it sounds like you do NOT trust this friend, or her deviant parent. Even though it sounds like this parent won't be there, what's to say he/she won't show up?

Some things you just don't do. Even as an adult, you don't put yourself into a situation where the possibility of something BAD happening is higher than normal. Either offer to drive your DD to the game yourself or she can find another way there. If this friend gets into a fight with her, what's to say she wouldn't drive away and leave your DD stranded there. I know the parent's issues are not the child's fault, but if the child has issues too, then you have to put safety first.

ETA - I see the problem has been solved. :

 

[cheermom1]

Freedom is one thing, being in the company of someone you don't like/trust is another.

You might trust your DD implicitly, but it sounds like you do NOT trust this friend, or her deviant parent. Even though it sounds like this parent won't be there, what's to say he/she won't show up?

Some things you just don't do. Even as an adult, you don't put yourself into a situation where the possibility of something BAD happening is higher than normal. Either offer to drive your DD to the game yourself or she can find another way there. If this friend gets into a fight with her, what's to say she wouldn't drive away and leave your DD stranded there. I know the parent's issues are not the child's fault, but if the child has issues too, then you have to put safety first.

yep ...I just had a feeling and told her no...

now if it were her sis I would have let her go... sis doesn't live with her parents but her grandma and she is the coolest. I know her very well..and sis has lived with her grandma since she was 4 and since parent was is jail....sis is a good girl and she is on the cheer team with dd..the other girl is not in any kind of sport and is allowed to roam the streets ..sis has rules from her grandma ..yes the family and grandma live in the same town..just very different way of living life and sis doesn't have a relationship with parents ...really sad since they live in the town...

 

[N.Bailey]

Not only do I feel you made the right decision, I think it was your obligation to not allow this. Knowingly putting a child in harm's way is, IMO, nothing less than child abuse. Kudos to you for standing your ground. You'll probably be hated, but oh well, that too comes with the job.

 

[cheermom1]

She ended up coming home in about an hour after she left ..she it was boring...

 

[DizBelle]

I'm curious how this person ended up a sex offender.

If it was inappropriate behavior with a child - no way is my child going
If they were barely 18 and slept with their 16 year old/almost 17 year old girlfriend/boyfriend - that's a different story

 

[cheermom1]

I'm curious how this person ended up a sex offender.

If it was inappropriate behavior with a child - no way is my child going
If they were barely 18 and slept with their 16 year old/almost 17 year old girlfriend/boyfriend - that's a different story

No one will talk about it ..if you try to bring it up they say "I don;t want to talk about it" so i guessing it is not someone that was barley 18 ..plus this happened when the middle child was 4, and this person looks like she is bugging all the time...(I have said this before, this is a small town and the oldest is 1 year older than my dd and the middle is the same age as my dd so the parents are at a lot of the school functions)

the middle child lives with her grandma from the time this happened and refuses to have a relationship with her parents ...call me crazy but I think I know what happened..

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

on a side note I didn't say it was the father

I didn't catch that till now..

That was presumptuous of me, and I appologize.

I do still think that a child should not be punished for something a parent did/does. I think it's enough to tell your daughter that she couldn't ride with this friend because of the friends OWN problem of fighting.

 

[cheermom1]

That was presumptuous of me, and I appologize.

I do still think that a child should not be punished for something a parent did/does. I think it's enough to tell your daughter that she couldn't ride with this friend because of the friends OWN problem of fighting.

no prob. I would have thought the same thing...But I did tell dd that I didn't want her to ride with her b/c of that one day she called her and pretended to be her friend (right after a fight) and wanted her to met her out side in my yard so she could beat her up at 11pm!!

i told dd I was not stupid and she would NOT be going outside to talk to her..

 

[wdwfan16]

No one will talk about it ..if you try to bring it up they say "I don;t want to talk about it" so i guessing it is not someone that was barley 18 ..plus this happened when the middle child was 4, and this person looks like she is bugging all the time...(I have said this before, this is a small town and the oldest is 1 year older than my dd and the middle is the same age as my dd so the parents are at a lot of the school functions)

the middle child lives with her grandma from the time this happened and refuses to have a relationship with her parents ...call me crazy but I think I know what happened..

Do the kid who was going to drive does not live with the sex offender and you still held it against her?

 

[cheermom1]

Do the kid who was going to drive does not live with the sex offender and you still held it against her?

No she lives with her parents ..she is the oldest the middle one lives with her grandma..sorry to make that a little confusing..