how would you feel if???

[Daddyto3gr8kids]

IF your SIL and her DH, failed on 3 diffrent occasions to get insurance for there DS, who is now 16 months old,was born premature, and has to go in for his 2nd brain surgery. Now they are having a benefit dinner to pay the bills that would've been covered by the insurance they failed to get. They are still planning on going to WDW inFeb 05, 5 months AFTER the benefit dinner. Would you be angry? Just curious, as this is my current situation.

 

[jel0511]

Did they fail due to his condition, or fail due to their ineptness? It it's the latter, personally I'd feel for the child but be super mad at the parents. Either way, their priorities don't seem to be in the right place.

 

[disykat]

I'd feel angry! I think rather than contribute to any fundraising efforts, I'd see about funding an insurance policy for him - too late now for this catastrophy though. They've sure been through a lot - I wonder if getting insurance as this point is going to be pretty tough with lots of pre-exising conditions.

I really feel for this family and I can certainly understand their need to get away, but having insurance is more important IMO. I also think that continuing to fund a vacation while asking for donations is just plain wrong.

 

[Daddyto3gr8kids]

No, He got a new job about 4 months ago, didn't take the insurance because he would've had to pay $200/ month for coverage, yes I know it sucks, but... After they turned that down they still could've filed for state coverage, which would've helped some of their medical bills, but they didn't. Then for the 3rd miss, after they found out he needed his first brain surgery the Doctor gave them the forms for the state medical, and the didn't fill them out in time, so it didn't pick up until 2 days AFTER his first surgery. So it covered NONE of that one, and it won't cover ANY of the second one because the state says it's pre-existing conditions. Of course I'm hope and pray my Nephew is ok, but I mean come on mom and dad! All kids need insurance, premmies more so, and having the doctor GIVE them the forms, and to just drag their feet!

 

[jel0511]

Well, $200 per month for medical insurance is what we pay for family coverage, and it's well worth it. To not get it because it's too expensive is something that I just can't comprehend. A lot of people in this country don't even get access to group medical plans, and have to pay ASTRONOMICAL premiums ($200 per month for a family plan is a decent deal) to cover their families. AND then to not fill out the forms in time, and THEN expect others to pick up the slack is about as low as you can go IMO. I really feel for the child, because he/she didn't ask for this, can't do anything to help, and is completely dependent on these people to do the right thing for them. If these were my relatives, I'd have crawled down their throats and yelled until you could have heard me in MI. I don't care if they never talked to me again, because what they did is dispicable (sp) and completely uncaring for their child. Sorry, these kind of things just get to me......

 

[roseprincess]

In my opinion, if the parents failed to put their DS on insurance, and not that the son was rejected by insurance companies, than I would be very upset, also with the parents.
Most major insurance companies do take babies/children that are born with a defect. My DD was born with a complex congenital heart defect. We had no problem getting her covered by my Dh's health insurance(family coverage) from work. Tho the insurance premiums are high for family coverage, not because of the medical issues. We were and still covered under a PPO even at one time we went on an HMO.

As of WDW, the parents could always apply for their son via Make-A-Wish foundation. He has to be considered life-threatening in order to be approved for MAW.

I guess I never heard of anyone having a benefit before for a child that's never been on health insurance. I've heard people having benefits to pick up the slack on what insurance companies don't cover.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No I would not be angry. As a mother of a child that was in a serious state I know first hand that you don't think clearly and looking back I did the best I could.

From your description it does sound like that they handled things poorly. It is sad, really.

 

[goofy4tink]

Yep, I'd be upset too. $200 a month is not a lot of money to pay, especially when you have a preemie on your hands. Just negligent and cheap, IMHO. It's just another bill you have to pay, plain and simple. No one likes to but we do. Just a 'cost of doing business' as a family, so to speak. Now there is the fact that that $200 times 12 months could pay for a WDW trip. I hope that wasn't part of the equation!! You don't ask for charity and then go on a big vacation.

 

[Daddyto3gr8kids]

Thanks, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking straight!

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

They were complaining about $200/month? I pay about $350/month for my dd and I through my employer. But I figure it's well worth it. I'd rather not pay russian roulette where our health is concerned. I suggest they'd better start health insurance shopping.

 

[Beth76]

My parents paid for my health insurance after I graduated college (couldn't be on their plan anymore) until I got a job with my own. Their reasoning is if something ever happened to me, they would be stuck with the bills. I can't imagine them ever letting one of their grandchildren to not have insurance. They would pay it themselves if the parents refused. I really hope your nephew does OK with all his surgeries and recoveries.

 

[Nancy]

$200.00 a month comes down to $50.00 a week. My Dh has $100.00 a week taken out of his check for our insurance...and that doesn't include dental or eye! we could never go without insurance, we have 3 kids, and you never know what will happen. My company pays for my insurance coverage and while it is not the greatest policy it does give us dental..and again with 3 kids we really need it, (especially with 2 that need braces).

I would be a little ticked off, especially because they are planning the trip to Disney. I can't afford to go to Disney, I have to save for 2-3 yrs. to go there.

 

[snoopy]

I'd be thanking God it wasn't my child who was facing brain surgery, and praying for the one who was. And letting go of all the other crap.

Hey, you asked!

 

[mickeyboat]

Is it possible that the new insurance refused to cover the child's pre-existing condition? Maybe they felt it made no sense to purchse the insurance in that case.

However, I don't think there are such restrictions on state aid plans, so I can't understand why they wouldn't apply for that coverage.

It the treatment experimental?

I can understand your frustration.

Denae

 

[Magickndm]

Yes you can get angry, but bottom line is it's not your life, not your business.
I agree with snoopy, pray for the child and let go of the rest.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Is their child very ill and money very tight. Do the parents often miss time from work because of their child. If I had a child that sick and that young I know I wouldn't be working. Some how or other we would have to get by only on dh's pay. I can truly remember being in a position where 200. a month would be impossible. And I have been around an overburdened family who's child was ill. Why don't you and your family help them out. Perhaps with the donation money and some help from their extended family a years coverage could be paid for. Perhaps somebody could sit down with them and help them fill out the necessary forms. You could even fill everything out and just get their signature. I remember having to do this with my grandmother when my grandfather was sick. She was in a fog and forms would ask a question she didn't know the answer to and she was too overwhelmed to look it up. Perhaps a call to the hospital social worker would help. They sometimes help people get thru the maze of forms and available programs.

 

[disykat]

OK, it's easy to say let go of all the other stuff and be thankful - but do you participate in the fundraiser? I'm guessing if it was my nephew, we'd be ponying up big bucks and probably foregoing vacation that year in order to help. Could you really do that with a good heart if you knew they were going to WDW after they took your money?

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by disykat
OK, it's easy to say let go of all the other stuff and be thankful - but do you participate in the fundraiser? I'm guessing if it was my nephew, we'd be ponying up big bucks and probably foregoing vacation that year in order to help. Could you really do that with a good heart if you knew they were going to WDW after they took your money?

I certainly could. A WDW trip doesn't take away from the fact that the child is having a 2nd brain surgery. Healthy children are a parent's greatest blessing.

 

[DiaDeGuadalupe]

I'd be upset about it. Three missed chances is a lot, IMHO. However, given their situation, do you know if they're in any support groups? It has to be overwhelming to have a preemie, let alone one who needs brain surgery. I wouldn't be surprised if they were to tell you that they didn't know if they were coming or going. I was a mess when my DS14 got diagnosed with diabetes at 18 months. Thankfully we had medical coverage through the military, but it was having a group of people in the same boat that helped us with their insight and kind words.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

While I would not "pony-up" big bucks and forego a vacation I would help in some way if they needed it.

If you haven't walked in the shoes of someone facing a crisis with your child it is hard to understand. Especially on-going, it really takes a toll on you. Takes you places you never thought possible.

I will say that we were proactive with getting the bills paid. I wouldn't let things slide. But I don't know the personal details, so I won't make a judgement on the fundraiser. Perhaps there are things you are unaware of.