How would you feel about this mandatory meeting?

[Marseeya]

My son is seeing a new psychiatrist and I just got a letter from the clinic yesterday saying that ALL parents had to attend a mandatory "informative/educational" meeting about medication treatments and parenting behaviorally disordered children. This session will last an hour and a half and they give us a choice of Saturdays to do it. The tone of this letter was so condescending.

I don't know, maybe it's just because it's mandatory that it gets to me, but it really ticks me off! I've been researching my child's particular issues for YEARS, and I feel that I'm very well educated on the topic, thank you very much.

I called the clinic and told the woman I spoke with my reactions to the letter. I was very polite, but I told her that the letter was pretty insulting and that I strongly object to a "mandatory" educational session. She said not to worry, that it wasn't so much educational, but that it was more to stress the importance of making all our kids' appointments and making sure they take their meds. EVEN WORSE!!! I said, "You're telling me I have to sit through an hour and a half lecture when I haven't done anything wrong?" She just laughed and told me she understood and that I was the fourth parent to call complaining about it that day. She told me whose "brainchild" it was, and said that he'd be in the clinic on Saturday if I wanted to talk to him.

DH thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill until I told him that the letter recommended both parents coming to the meeting. Oh, but he's going, that's for sure.

What do you think? Would the mandatory nature of this meeting tick you off? Or would you just go and not complain?

 

[WishingOnAStar]

Personally, I wouldn't go. Have you asked what would happend if you didn't go?

Also, isn't there some kind of confidentiality thing going on here? What if you don't want anyone else knowing that you go there?

 

[Stitchfans]

First thing that popped into my head was, how much is this meeting going to cost. Nothing in the medical field is free.

and yes in answer to your question I would feel the same as you. the word mandatory wouldn't sit easy with me.

 

[In a hurry]

Personally, I wouldn't go. Have you asked what would happend if you didn't go?

Also, isn't there some kind of confidentiality thing going on here? What if you don't want anyone else knowing that you go there?

Well, now, that is an excellent question!

 

[Marseeya]

Personally, I wouldn't go. Have you asked what would happend if you didn't go?

Also, isn't there some kind of confidentiality thing going on here? What if you don't want anyone else knowing that you go there?

From the tone of the letter, I got that we would probably be dismissed as patients.

That's a great question about the confidentiality issue! I'm certainly going to bring it up when I talk to him on Saturday.

 

[C.Ann]

I would not be taking my child to a psychiatrist that would "dismiss" him as a patient because his parents refused to attend an open mandatory meeting..

Nope - wouldn't happen..

 

[Rock'n Robin]

My first thought was also confidentiality. Say for example your neighbor one street over takes his daughter to the same psychiatrist. You don't know that..it's none of your business, and it's none of his that your son goes there either. How uncomfortable is the parent meeting when parents start recognizing each other? It isn't a booster club meeting for pete's sake. Tell the doctor that unless there are not other parents present, it is a huge violation of confidentiality.
Robin M.

 

[Maleficent13]

Also, isn't there some kind of confidentiality thing going on here? What if you don't want anyone else knowing that you go there?

An excellent question!

Honestly, here's my opinion...there is either a new, or newly promoted, person in the office. This person is determined to make a "name" for themselves by solving some difficult problem. He/she probably overheard someone complaining about some parent's non-compliance and thought, "Now HERE'S a great way to get someone to notice me!!"

Not like I've ever seen this behavior before, or anything...

 

[diznygirl]

I would be worried about "perception" more than anything. I would want to show that I am a parent who is completely hands-on and in-the-loop regarding my child's care - so I would show up and take notes, and ask questions and not complain.

I wouldn't want them to think I didn't care enough to attend one little meeting, that all I wanted was for them to take of my child's problems and leave me out of it.

I'm not saying this to flame the OP or the other parents - I'm sure I'd be just as ticked that the office felt it necessary to "inform" me of the "proper" way to parent my child - I'm saying I would play nice so they wouldn't think I didn't care. Or worse, try to blame me for my child's problems.

I hope all this makes sense....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It seems to me that if they are really concerned about parents making sure that the children attend all sessions, take their meds, etc, that they should be encouraging/insisting on a short, private meeting before their first session. They could go over the ground rules at that time. How long would it take to say what the parents should be doing at home to help them out in the office?

I'm sure that they see all kinds of deadbeat parents, just like there are many caring, loving parents. They have to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Too bad that everyone doesn't have their child's best interests in mind like you do!

 

[Stacey2grls]

I had a somewhat similar situation. When my DD attended Special Ed Pre-school, we were periodically asked to attend seminars and meetings about how to "better parent your child" and how to handle "difficult" children. While yes I'm sure these seminars were very informative, I didn't feel the need to attend them since my daughter didn't have behavioral issues. Everytime like clockwork the following morning I would get the "cold shoulder" from some of the other mothers and some of the school staff psychologists. Questions like "where were you"? "Don't you feel these topics are important?" Honestly, no. She is my daughter, and if I want to go to meetings or seminars I will pick and choose the ones that I want to go to, and the ones that I feel will better her. I never felt the desire to attend something I was "bullied" into attending.

 

[C.Ann]

I would be worried about "perception" more than anything. I would want to show that I am a parent who is completely hands-on and in-the-loop regarding my child's care - so I would show up and take notes, and ask questions and not complain.

I wouldn't want them to think I didn't care enough to attend one little meeting, that all I wanted was for them to take of my child's problems and leave me out of it.

I'm not saying this to flame the OP or the other parents - I'm sure I'd be just as ticked that the office felt it necessary to "inform" me of the "proper" way to parent my child - I'm saying I would play nice so they wouldn't think I didn't care. Or worse, try to blame me for my child's problems.

I hope all this makes sense....

---------------------------

You would be worried about "perception" but you wouldn't be worried about a doctor who would dismiss your child as a patient because you were guarding your childs right to confidentiality??????

 

[Nana Annie]

I would:

1) quickly run to the phone and dial the local medical ethics board
2) call the office and sweetly say:
"Due to confidentiality concerns, I do not believe I would be able to attend a group meeting with other parents involved. I am sure it is one of your top priorities to protect my child's confidentiality at all times, as it is mine. However, if you feel that this is an issue that is important, I would be happy to schedule a meeting with you to privately discuss the issues. On your dime of course, since you are necessitating this mandatory meeting."

I wonder how important the info is if the docs have to work in a private meeting with each and every patient.

 

[C.Ann]

I wonder how important the info is if the docs have to work in a private meeting with each and every patient.

--------------------

My guess is "not very"..

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I would totally bring up the HIPPA rules. Just tell them you prefer to keep it confidential, and see what happens.

 

[kelleigh1]

I agree with everyone on the confidentiality issue and I would be pointing this out to the office IMMEDIATELY. I don't know that I'd wait until Saturday, but that's just me. I'm not the most patient person when it comes to things like this.

But...I don't necessarily think a mandatory meeting with the parents is a bad thing. My first thought was that it makes sense that they'd want to talk to all of the parents to make sure everyone is on the same page. And especially since this is a new relationship, they might wish to discuss prior treatment along with just general background information so that they can have a better understanding what they are dealing with and so that the family will better understand their methods, etc.

I still think that the group session thing is very wrong and there's no way I'd show up for something like that, but I would definitely want to sit down myself with the doctor to work out a game plan.

 

[RitaZ.]

I would:
2) call the office and sweetly say:
"Due to confidentiality concerns, I do not believe I would be able to attend a group meeting with other parents involved. I am sure it is one of your top priorities to protect my child's confidentiality at all times, as it is mine. However, if you feel that this is an issue that is important, I would be happy to schedule a meeting with you to privately discuss the issues. On your dime of course, since you are necessitating this mandatory meeting."

I wonder how important the info is if the docs have to work in a private meeting with each and every patient.

I like this response. My guess is that it wouldn't be so important.

Let's forget the confidentiality issues for one moment... How beneficial is it to have a general discussion on medication and parenting/discipline when every person seeking treatment is there for different problems/issues? What is the real purpose of this meeting? I don't like the "one size fits all" approach of the meeting.

I wouldn't equate disagreeing with the mandatory meeting with wanting the doctors to take care of the child's problems and leaving the parents out of it. The fact that the parents are at their office seeking help for their children proves that they DO care about their child's wellbeing.

 

[diznygirl]

---------------------------

You would be worried about "perception" but you wouldn't be worried about a doctor who would dismiss your child as a patient because you were guarding your childs right to confidentiality??????

Of course I would be concerned about the confidentiality issue..... I'm just saying that it would cross my mind that they would want to weed out the deadbeat parents and I wouldn't want to be considered one of those.

I wouldn't want to appear uncaring.

I suppose for me the trick would be to express how much I WANT to be there vs. how they are asking for something that violates my family's privacy.

 

[inaminute]

Also, isn't there some kind of confidentiality thing going on here? What if you don't want anyone else knowing that you go there?

That was the very first thing that came to my mind. I would not participate in this meeting. If they want to lecture me, they'll have to do it privately.

 

[mickeyboat]

I can understand your concerns, but have another take on the request.

Your doctor and his office doesn't want to waste valuable time they could be treating the patient, treating the parents, too. This meeting is an opportunity to talk generally about what the clinic will be expecting of the parents in order to make the treatment more effective. They probably have a lot of parents who do not take their child's care as seriously as you do, and who have never invested a minute of their time trying to help their kids.

Personally, I wouldn't see it as an inconvenience, rather as an opportunity to gather more information regarding my son's treatment.

As far as confidentiality goes, unless the meeting addresses individual cases, and keeps the topic focused on basic goals and expectations, I can't see where there would be any kind of confidentiality or HIPPA issues. Yes, the other parents would see which parents were at the meeting, but are you going to cover your faces when pulling into the parking lot or sitting in the waiting room? You are going to run into these people many times during the course of your son's treatment. Also it might give you an opportunity to network with other people who are facing the same kinds of difficulties with their kids.

Denae