How to explain surgery to a 3 year old

[StitchesGr8Fan]

My almost 3 year old is having her adenoids out in the morning. I haven't figured out an age appropriate way to explain to her what is going on and why her diet will be limited for 2 weeks after. She's not afraid of doctors or needles because we've never made a big deal out of it. She's had X-rays and bloodwork and lots of exams, and we stay calm and tell her it is part of life and she just rolls with it. I'm just not sure what to say if they have to take her back before she is sedated (She will ask why I can't come with her). And once her throat doesn't hurt any more she is going to argue about only eating soft foods. How have you discussed a similar situation with your preschooler? We want to be open and honest but at an age-appropriate level. I do plan to tell her the doctor is going to help her nose not have so many boogers. She will understand that part. Maybe a Doc McStuffins episode?

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd15 had eye surgery at 3. I went into the ER with her, and stayed until she was out. They used a mask, and it did freak her out. I gave her the heads up about what would happen, and that she would go to sleep, the doctor would fix her eye, and shed wake up, and I'd be there.

Ds18 had his adenoids at 10. He was given the option of having me go with him into the OR, but he said he was old enough to go alone. He recovered very quickly, wasn't in a lot of pain, and never had another sinus infection!

Keep in mind that everyone reacts differently to anesthesia. Dd15 recently had another surgery, and wasn't a happy camper in the recovery room, just like when she was 3. Ds18 had 2 surgeries, dd13 1, and ds13 1, and they were hysterically funny in the recovery room. You never know!

Have her practice slow deep breathing (in through nose, out through mouth)- that's how the anesthesia (sleepy juice) gets out of the body. They will also want her to eat/drink/pee before discharging her, so let her know that ahead of time, to give her an incentive to do what she needs to do.

 

[Southernmiss]

Don't make a big deal of it. You care going to fret over it much more than your child.

Just as simply as mjkacmom said. You're going to the Dr. tomorrow and they're going to help you not have a sore throat anymore. They'll give you sleepy juice, you'll be a big girl and breath like this...you'll go to sleep and when you wake up, I'll be right here and you can have lots of popsicles/ice cream or whatever. The end.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

They will likely let you stay with her until she is mildly sedated.

I would just tell her they're going to make her throat feel better (presumably she's been having trouble with it) but that before it feels better, it may feel worse for a while; good part is she'll get to eat ice cream and puddings and soft things like that for a bit. (Yay!) This way she's getting the information she needs and you're being honest, but it's at a level she can understand and won't be frightened ahead of time.

Good luck! My DD has to have her tonsils out soon, she's 18!

 

[AppleDumpling]

Sounds like you're handling it well. You need to stay calm because seeing you upset could upset her too. Just be honest and tell her it needs to be done so she will be healthy, and that while it may hurt for a while, everything will be alright. Reassure her that the doctors and nurses will take good care of her. Bring her favorite stuffed animal, toy or blanket to the hospital.

Kids this age usually bounce back very quickly. They also have no real concept of time, so as far as the two week recovery, take it one day at a time. Good luck.

 

[fly girl]

I had eye surgery at 4 and 5 (first one unsuccessful).

Both times my parents played it cool, like it was nothing. I wasn't scared, because they acted normal. As you know, kids are perceptive and they will pick up on your vibe, so don't stress.

I knew why I was having the surgery but not all the risks. Like Pea-n-Me said, simple explanation.

 

[monorailsilver]

My ds was almost 5 when he had his tonsils and adenoids out. I was in 2nd grade and my only memories were: the 2 lollipops from my sisters friends gave me, my mother spent the night, there was a tv attached to the wall and I wanted it on so I could watch happy days but my mother told me it was broken (I am sure she would of had to pay back in the 70s) and wanting a hamburger from McDs on the way home. Oh and my 2nd grade class made me a whole bunch of get well cards and my friend Paige delivered them.

Anyways, the point of that ramble is that I don't remember being taken back to surgery.

For my son, I don't think he does either. He was given a med to help sedate him and basically make him not remember. The nurse gave it to him while he sat with us in the waiting room. Then the Doctor came and took him from our arms and we were back with him in about an hour.

As far as the diet, don't make a big deal out of it other then telling her she will have to eat soft foods because the hard ones will really hurt/cause a boo boo in her throat. The first few days she is going to be extra sore. My son has a few food allergies plus hates soup so it was a challenge getting. Actual food in him. I went against the don't give red food and gave him watermelon because he would eat it. Giving pain medicine was the worst as he never liked taking medicine.

My kids ate lots of Popsicles those first few days. He had his done on a Thursday and I think he wanted to ride his bike with in 5 days. We let him but he got tired so we towed his bike and put him in the bike trailer.

He also went from about 32 lbs to about 27 lbs. I hated that he lost so much weight.

 

[mjkacmom]

My ds was almost 5 when he had his tonsils and adenoids out. I was in 2nd grade and my only memories were: the 2 lollipops from my sisters friends gave me, my mother spent the night, there was a tv attached to the wall and I wanted it on so I could watch happy days but my mother told me it was broken (I am sure she would of had to pay back in the 70s) and wanting a hamburger from McDs on the way home. Oh and my 2nd grade class made me a whole bunch of get well cards and my friend Paige delivered them.

Anyways, the point of that ramble is that I don't remember being taken back to surgery.

For my son, I don't think he does either. He was given a med to help sedate him and basically make him not remember. The nurse gave it to him while he sat with us in the waiting room. Then the Doctor came and took him from our arms and we were back with him in about an hour.

As far as the diet, don't make a big deal out of it other then telling her she will have to eat soft foods because the hard ones will really hurt/cause a boo boo in her throat. The first few days she is going to be extra sore. My son has a few food allergies plus hates soup so it was a challenge getting. Actual food in him. I went against the don't give red food and gave him watermelon because he would eat it. Giving pain medicine was the worst as he never liked taking medicine.

My kids ate lots of Popsicles those first few days. He had his done on a Thursday and I think he wanted to ride his bike with in 5 days. We let him but he got tired so we towed his bike and put him in the bike trailer.

He also went from about 32 lbs to about 27 lbs. I hated that he lost so much weight.

Tonsils hurt much more than adenoids. Ds was eating fine pretty quickly. Dd19 should have her tonsils out, but the ENT scared her off when he told her how painful recovery would be.

 

[tvguy]

Well, we just played calm and made no big deal about it when our DD had her adenoids. But she had no dietary restrictions, so I can't speak to that. We just had to keep an eye on her for about 8 hours afterwards.
Only issue we had was, we brought the wrong Grandma along for support. My MIL almost fainted when she saw our DD after the procedure. My mom was a retired Surgical Nurse (RN) so that would have been a better choice to tag along.

 

[spacemountainmom]

My dd21 broke her finger and had to have surgery on it a few weeks before she turned five. We were honest with her about what was going to happen and she was pretty calm about it. Hers was done at a day surgery center and they let us stay with her until she was asleep. She was a bit sick on the trip home, but that was the only time. Little ones bounce back pretty quickly.

I am pretty sure that it was much harder on me than it was on her. I know it's hard, but if you act like it's no big deal, she will feel calmer too.

 

[aprilgail]

My almost 3 year old is having her adenoids out in the morning. I haven't figured out an age appropriate way to explain to her what is going on and why her diet will be limited for 2 weeks after. She's not afraid of doctors or needles because we've never made a big deal out of it. She's had X-rays and bloodwork and lots of exams, and we stay calm and tell her it is part of life and she just rolls with it. I'm just not sure what to say if they have to take her back before she is sedated (She will ask why I can't come with her). And once her throat doesn't hurt any more she is going to argue about only eating soft foods. How have you discussed a similar situation with your preschooler? We want to be open and honest but at an age-appropriate level. I do plan to tell her the doctor is going to help her nose not have so many boogers. She will understand that part. Maybe a Doc McStuffins episode?

I think you are overthinking the whole thing. My daughter had hers out at 5- I told her way in advance what was going to happen. Day of surgery they gave her a shot to make her drowsy I said see you soon, they wheeled her off and I was waiting in recovery when they woke her up. As far as soft food for 2 weeks?? Who told you that? My daughter had tonsils, adenoids and tongue tie done all at once and she was eating chicken nuggets the next day- as per her Dr. the only thing they said to stay away from was things like chips, and red foods for 5 days. Coming out of recovery they had jello, Italian ice or a sandwich (looked like soft crustless white bread with turkey) for her to choose to eat, she had to get something down before they would let her go home.

 

[lanejudy]

OP - is the procedure being done at a children's hospital? Even many "regular" hospitals have online information for parents and children. Most children's hospitals will even have video's or other information that is age-appropriate to share with a child having day-surgery, inpatient visit, tests, etc. Here's a link from our local children's hospital; my daughter enjoyed going over this "game" and then was familiar with the process. Sit with her and talk through it. I agree with others that the less you stress about this the better she'll handle it.

Good luck and let us know how she fares!

 

[Luvstotravel]

My 3-year old granddaughter had an emergency appendectomy almost a year ago. When we asked about it after, she would dramatically slash across her stomach with her finger and declare: "They cut me RIGHT OPEN!", and explained that there was a bee inside her, stinging her, and that was why it hurt. No one told her that, that was the explanation that she came up with all on her own.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

They are just doing her adenoids, going through the back/top of her throat. So I'm really hoping it isn't a 2 week restrictive diet. I'm thinking we will take it day by day and if she seems ready for more food after a couple days we will try it.

The good news is she LOVES pediasure shakes, fruit pouches, yogurt, and Mac n' cheese so I'm not too worried about her weight dropping. Several people have told me the key is to keep her hydrated so that she heals faster. And make her take the pain mess.

 

[mom2rtk]

Just wanted to wish you all the best of luck tomorrow. You'll be so relieved when it's behind you!

My daughter had tubes in her ears around that age. I do think the whole process was harder for us as parents than for her.

 

[CaoilinnsMom]

I would keep it simple, I don't even think you need to explain what is going to happen after until afterward. I meant the diet restrictions and such. Something like, "the doctor is going to fix it so you can breathe better" Best of luck!

 

[low-key]

Just tell him they will put him to sleep and when he wakes up he will be in WDW, Then when he wakes up tell him you were just joking

 

[Southernmiss]

Just tell him they will put him to sleep and when he wakes up he will be in WDW, Then when he wakes up tell him you were just joking

Uncle low-key you always know the right thing to say!

 

[aprilgail]

When my friend was younger her mom told her one morning that they were going to the toy store- she got all excited and got dressed and her mom pulled up at the hospital, brought her in and dropped her off to get her tonsils done- came back later when she was in a room (back then you stayed overnight)- she talks about that still to this day!

 

[mom2rtk]

Good luck with the surgery today!