How To Ditch The Family...

[rosworms]

Alright.... so you know that when people go to Disney for a wedding, most likely their thought process will be something like: "If I am spending the money to go down there, I might as well make a week long vacation out of it."

Pretty soon, everyone is coming for a giant family vacation that just happens to have a wedding in the middle of it.

How do you break it to them, when they start involving you in their plans, that you won't be spending all your time with them because it will be your wedding AND honeymoon and want to spend time alone with the groom?

Has anyone had any trouble with clingy family?

 

[PartofDisney'sWorld]

I don't personally have this problem (yet, knock on wood ) but if it were me I would just be honest and say exactly what you told us. Just tell them in a nice way that this is your honeymoon and you would like some alone time with your new husband/wife. I don't know what your plans are but maybe you could offer to get together with everyone for a dinner or something? Or just make plans to meet up once or twice during the week? But I would just be honest, I'm sure people will understand.

 

[princesswendy720]

I've already started to tell people that after the wedding, they will not see much (if any) of us. We are also moving hotels to one not in our wedding block to reduce the chance of running into anyone. We have plenty of things planned for the days leading up to the wedding with our guests, so I think they'll understand that we want to start our honeymoon even though we'll still be in Disney with them (but not with them).

 

[proudestmunkie]

I think it comes down to being honest and just explaining if it comes up, I don't see how someone wouldn't understand. After all, it's your wedding! I haven't had this come up yet (yet..), we're doing a Friday though and everyone's reaction so far has been, Sweet we'll come Friday and leave Sunday which is exactly what I was hoping for. Good luck!

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

This will be a major problem for us. We both have the epitomy of clingy families. We are getting there 4 days before and staying 5 or 6 days after. We are hoping they don't show up until 2 days prior, and will have optional activities those days, then the morning after we will have a "farewell" breakfast/brunch. After that, we're on our own, and will most likely move over to the Yacht Club to get away from Bay Lake Tower. I'm going to make this very clear and plan on advising everyone I will not be answering my phone. Yes, I realize people are spending money to come down for the wedding, but we also are spending much much more for our special day and our honeymoon.... we deserve peace too.

 

[violentmesses]

This will be a major problem for us. We both have the epitomy of clingy families. We are getting there 4 days before and staying 5 or 6 days after. We are hoping they don't show up until 2 days prior, and will have optional activities those days, then the morning after we will have a "farewell" breakfast/brunch. After that, we're on our own, and will most likely move over to the Yacht Club to get away from Bay Lake Tower. I'm going to make this very clear and plan on advising everyone I will not be answering my phone. Yes, I realize people are spending money to come down for the wedding, but we also are spending much much more for our special day and our honeymoon.... we deserve peace too.

Meh. I don't see the point of view of spending alot of money to go to Florida as a strong argument for wanting you at all/most/some of the Family Reunion stuff that may come up because they're planning family events on the week that you've planned your wedding because it's most convenient for them. You know what I mean?

I mean -- how many of the family will be in attendance, anyway? At least 10, right? How can they possible miss just 2 of you -- and how can that possible make/break family reunion stuff? They'll have at least 8 clingy people to spend their time with, right?!

I would probably say something like, "Oh! It sounds like fun and I wish I could be there - but all of this family stuff is scheduled right on top of my honeymoon. I can't really commit to any family stuff right now, because I think my DF may have some romantic dinners/surprises planned for us (make sure you to have a pact between you and DF to say "YES WE HAVE STUFF PLANNED" in case nosey people decide to ask if those things DO in fact exist -- can you tell I have clingy/noseys around, too?!) - and I don't want to accidentally double book myself. I hope you all have a good time! Take lots of pictures! Love you!" and then I'll close with something about my phone will be off or something and then skip away into the sunset and enjoy my honeymoon guilt free.

 

[Jilian]

I think that as long as you have a day or two where you will be hanging out with everyone then it is perfectly acceptable to say that you want a few days alone together as a newly married couple. We're planning on going to Disney 4 or so days early to have some fun time before everyone arrives and we'll probably stay 3-4 days after our ceremony too. We understand that people will want to hang out with us, and we're cool with that because they are spending a ton of money to come up to Disney to be with us but we plan on designating at least 2 days to ourselves where we won't be hanging out with anyone else. Maybe designate a few days to yourself and let your DF know too so he doesn't make plans.

 

[transfergirl]

Turn off your cell phones.

 

[ahutton]

We let people know what plans we had that were open for participation, where to meet and what additional tickets applied, such as the Christmas Party. In the end, we opted to honeymoon away from Disney for a few days and then went back for some other days. We found that people were very understanding that we wanted some time to ourselves.

 

[BecBennett]

Coming from Oz, we didn't mind spending heaps of time with our families - because we'd never have the chance to go to WDW together again mainly.

Having said that, most of the time it felt like when we planned to do something together, we would have to travel to them, as apposed to them finding us.

Or, they'd change our plans - like I planned a "farewell breakfast" type event at chef mickey's the morning after the wedding, I let everyone know, showed them copies of the menus/pricing and asked who wanted to be booked in. We had about 23 people booked in, however the morning of the breakfast we get to chef mickeys, only to find that the majority of the party had gone into the Contempo Cafe because it was cheaper, and expected us to join them

I put my foot down and said no -I'm going in here, because that's what I wanted to do.

Wow... Looks like I just turned my reply into a rant...

What I meant to say, is that we didn't have trouble with people trying to join in our plans while we were there, they'd ask what we were doing that day, and we'd basically all end up doing our own thing any way, even if we did meet up for the occasional meal or ride...

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Meh. I don't see the point of view of spending alot of money to go to Florida as a strong argument for wanting you at all/most/some of the Family Reunion stuff that may come up because they're planning family events on the week that you've planned your wedding because it's most convenient for them. You know what I mean?

I mean -- how many of the family will be in attendance, anyway? At least 10, right? How can they possible miss just 2 of you -- and how can that possible make/break family reunion stuff? They'll have at least 8 clingy people to spend their time with, right?!

I would probably say something like, "Oh! It sounds like fun and I wish I could be there - but all of this family stuff is scheduled right on top of my honeymoon. I can't really commit to any family stuff right now, because I think my DF may have some romantic dinners/surprises planned for us (make sure you to have a pact between you and DF to say "YES WE HAVE STUFF PLANNED" in case nosey people decide to ask if those things DO in fact exist -- can you tell I have clingy/noseys around, too?!) - and I don't want to accidentally double book myself. I hope you all have a good time! Take lots of pictures! Love you!" and then I'll close with something about my phone will be off or something and then skip away into the sunset and enjoy my honeymoon guilt free.

Well I have 8 family coming.... 2 of which will be nuances. It would not be uncommon for my stepmom to knock on our door the night of our wedding looking for her sock that she misplaced, or wanting to know if I wanted to her to refill my refillable mug on her way down. I can picture the entire family knocking on our door to go to breakfast everyday at 7:00am, my aunt knocking to see if I took my medication and my not-so-little-cousin anymore wanting to know if where all the beer is. I guess if you read my PJ it explains a bit more about my family.... I'll have to take EXTRA precautions, lol

 

[april2011bride]

we get the best of both worlds....hopefully! We are spending 3 days before the wedding in the parks with family....and two days after....by the thrid day after wedding they are all leaving! We will enjoy a few days in Disney alone and then go on a cruise alone! Maybe you could try and work it out like that. I do believe its best to be honest with them...just tell them your plans. Its YOUR day and YOUR trip.....do what YOU want!

 

[rosworms]

I am hoping to convince the family to arrive a few days before us... so that way when they leave before us, we will have lots of time alone without me going crazy all curious wondering what they are doing and are my nephews and nieces all excited and stuff.
We'll never have another honeymoon and I know my DF will be more upset about not getting enough alone time than me.

 

[transfergirl]

I am hoping to convince the family to arrive a few days before us... so that way when they leave before us, we will have lots of time alone without me going crazy all curious wondering what they are doing and are my nephews and nieces all excited and stuff.
We'll never have another honeymoon and I know my DF will be more upset about not getting enough alone time than me.

Or wait to book your flights till after you get their confirmed itineraries. Oops, too expensive to make any changes...

 

[disneychic2]

I agree with the poster who said to be honest with them. Who expects a couple to spend their honeymoon with family??? If my only remaining unmarried son got married at Disney, I would be very happy! I would enjoy the wedding festivities and have no problem leaving them alone for the remainder of the honeymoon. Just don't expect me not to stay for a week to enjoy myself while I'm there.

 

[violentmesses]

Well I have 8 family coming.... 2 of which will be nuances. It would not be uncommon for my stepmom to knock on our door the night of our wedding looking for her sock that she misplaced, or wanting to know if I wanted to her to refill my refillable mug on her way down. I can picture the entire family knocking on our door to go to breakfast everyday at 7:00am, my aunt knocking to see if I took my medication and my not-so-little-cousin anymore wanting to know if where all the beer is. I guess if you read my PJ it explains a bit more about my family.... I'll have to take EXTRA precautions, lol

WHOA!!! OMG OMG OMG - that's hard core in your face. Awesome. You must have some good family stories!

 

[VAN]

Have you thought about booking a cruise (Disney or other) for a few days following the wedding. By the time you get back, most of the relatives should be gone from WDW or gotten used to not having you around.

Just KEEP IT QUIET before hand, so no one else tags along on the cruise!!!!!

 

[violentmesses]

Have you thought about booking a cruise (Disney or other) for a few days following the wedding. By the time you get back, most of the relatives should be gone from WDW or gotten used to not having you around.

Just KEEP IT QUIET before hand, so no one else tags along on the cruise!!!!!

Brilliant!

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

We sooooo wanted to do that!! We've never been on a cruise! But we'll have so much luggage and stuff that we wouldn't have room for in a stateroom. I'm not a light packer on a normal day, so I can only imagine what my wedding trip will be like Plus we'll maybe have gifts and my dress, etc etc... We decided it would be easier to just head over to an Epcot resort and have the bellhop deal with it Depending on how much we have... we may be shipping stuff home.

We plan on going on a Disney Cruise for my 30th birthday in May 2013!!

If there was a bride who doesn't overpack, or has family to take stuff home with them... this would be a great option!!!

 

[disneyfan888]

we were concerned about this too and even though we were hinting in different ways I was still worried. We checked in 2 days before the wedding and what we did was that those 2 days were taken to spend with the family for dinners etc. After that we had a week to ourselves. I understand it can be tricky and even if sometimes family say they understand they might feel left out or unwanted. They do need to understand that its your celebration and even though they made it out to be with you, you will have things to do on your own. My DH was very clear in letting everyone know that he had a couple of things planned and that we had a bunch of reservations at various restaurants, plus photo shoots to do. Ultimately, it worked out. Just tell them, hopefully they will eventually understand.
Have a beautiful wedding!