how to deal with death

[vintagegal]

one of my best friends' mother just passed away. I had no idea because i was at camp and received a call on the way home. I wasn't able to go to the funeral, but my dad went. I just wanted to know if any of you had any ideas about what to do for me to make it up to my friend. I'm not sure what to say to her...

 

[Disney*Chika]

Sometimes, not saying much is the best. Just tell her how sorry you are and just be her shoulder to cry on. Once she is ready, possibly look at pictures with her and just help her remember all the good times she had with her mother. Just like i said, if you are just her shoulder to cry on, she will be greatful to know that you care.

 

[2HOT2touch]

try not to ask to many questions cuz i no for me its been like 8 years since my dad died and i still dont like it when ppl ask me about him but some times it helps when i think about him but i wouldnt talk about it that much at first unless she brings it up

 

[disneyangel7488]

Sometimes it is good just to spend some time with your friend. Like others have said, try not to talk about it unless your friend brings it up, but do be there for her. Even if it's just going to the movies or something like that, you could help make your friend feel better by taking her mind off of her mother's death. I am so sorry about what happened to your friend's family and may God bless them.

 

[goofygirl0207]

 

[Tori Paige]

I know how you feel. My best friends cousin got killed in a car wreck and try not to bring it up and just comfort her.

 

[MickeyMouse418]

its hard to know what to say. my grandpa just died a month ago, and i had no idea what to say to my dad. also, an old friend of mine was killed in a car crash. when i went to her house to pay a shiva call (a jewish thing where people come to the house to comfort the family a week after the funeral) and even though i hadnt seen her mother in a few years all i said was im sorry and she hugged me really tightly. its not always what you say, but the thought that counts. it really depends on how she is dealing with it. she may need you to talk to, or she may just need a hug. im sorry to hear about your friend, my heart goes out to her and her family.

 

[Princess Aurora45]

I am so sorry for your friends loss, she will be in my thoughts.

One of my friends who I had know since I was 10 died a couple of years ago, and we were told at school the next day. It wa really hard and awful. You have to let nature run its course, the pain she feels will one day ease. Just be there for her, plenty of hugs, keep her busy doing things, one of the best things is just to listen to her. When I was told that my dad had liver cancer (about a month ago) and who is now really sick and may die. My friends have been great. As soon as they had been told there were round my uni halls taking me out - I was never alone for a minute and it helped take my mind of things. Let herknow that you will be there night or day for her, my friends have been and have had frantic phone calls from me at around 11pm.

The most importantly be patient. She may yell at you and be nasty, but she probably doesn't mean it.

I hope it helps. We are all her for you on the boards. If you want someone to talk to, email or pm me.

 

[monarchsfan16]

Just be there for your friend. Let her know she can talk to you or whatever. My closest friends aren't the ones who "know what to say", but the ones who are there for me when bad stuff happens. My aunt died this year, and I wasn't expecting it, and my best friend was there for me through all of it. Through everything bad that's happened this year she's let me know that I can talk to her about anything, or just sit there and cry, whatever I need to do. Just let her know that you're there for her. And I know some people say try not to talk about it much, but you may want to ask your friend whether or not she wants to talk about it or be reminded. She may want to. I find it more comforting to talk about the people that have lost. Some people don't. Some may want to wait a couple years and then talk. I hope all of this made sense.

 

[PrincessTink]

Just make sure that she knows that you will always be there for her. Conforting is probably the best thing to do. It always does help for the people that I know.
One of my friends died in October of 2003. It was hard for everyone in my school. The thing that really got all of through that hard time was each others storys. When we heard funny stories about him we came close with some people that we barely knew.
Death can be real hard to cope with sometimes, but you have to be strong for everyone too. All people deal with death in different ways. Some become held back and shy, others can just laugh it off, but it hurts everyone.
Just be sure to let her know that you are there any time and that it really doesn't matter when or when she need you, and that you'll be there. Although she might not believe you, she will be very thankful for you to be caring about her.


Hope everything does go well.