How should children address adults?

[Debi]

My opinion might be skewed, being that I'm a 20-something, single female with no kids, but I was always brought up to call adults as Mr., Ms. or Mrs. until they tell me otherwise; the one exception being very close friends of the family. This is a habit I still have today.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My kids call most people Mr/Mrs and there last name (or "coach lastname"). They call some adults by their first name--people we know more.

I prefer for the kids to either call me Mrs and my lastname or call me my first name. I do not like to be called "Miss Linda"!

T&B AKA Linda...not Miss Linda

 

[Sparx]

I know some people are offended by being called ma'am, but where I live it is not taken that way, it is a sign of respect.

I didn't think that people were offended by Ma'am. It is a sign of respect around here.

 

[Microcell]

Couldn't disagree more. I don't see it as a power trip. Children and adults are not equals by virtue of the difference in their ages and life experiences. I have my friends - my children have theirs. We are not contemporaries.

Toddlers here call adults by their first names. As soon as they can say Mr/Mrs Lastname, they do. Seems to be the trend in our neighborhood and both DH and I are very comfortable with it.

I would love to move to your neighborhood! The kids here were instructed to call adults by first name and I will not allow my children to do that. The adults here see it as a power trip and I try to point out I think it teaches respect.

The parents told their kids that we are to be called by our first name and get annoyed when I tell mine that they are to use last. They also got mad at me when my daughter started arguing with the mom about why she could stay the night when the mom had said no. I told her to apologise because she is not to argue with her instruction, while in her home. The mom told me I was making too big a deal about it. I told her that my kids need to learn where the line is drawn of respect, and they were not to be so informal with their elders because some day thier boss would fire them for it.


Her kids think they can tell us how to do things, they argue all the time and now were shocked when I sent them home after the thousandth time of telling them not to climb the woodwork at my house. They consider themselves our equals and were surprised to find out that they are not. I don't think the disregard would have occured if the lines had been established, namely calling us by last names.

For flamers, I think the kids are negatively influencing my DD and she thinks it is okay to argue with that mom because her own kids do it. She does not argue here at home. She shouldn't.

 

[Microcell]

My opinion might be skewed, being that I'm a 20-something, single female with no kids, but I was always brought up to call adults as Mr., Ms. or Mrs. until they tell me otherwise; the one exception being very close friends of the family. This is a habit I still have today.

Good for your parents! Close friends of the family with us are assigned Uncle or Aunt status.

 

[Aidensmom]

I didn't think that people were offended by Ma'am. It is a sign of respect around here.

It is a sign of respect in certain areas of the country, specifically the south. But not all consider it that way. There have been entire threads about that here in the recent past. That is what I was referring to.

 

[MickeysMommy]

When I was younger, and in most cases still today, I call my friends parents Mr. & Mrs. Lastname. I don't see anything wrong with that....it's manners. I have also seen the trend coming now of Miss Firstname/Mr. Firstname. I don't see anything wrong with that at all and would encourage it of my child (when I have one). I even called my ex-FIL Mr. Lastname. I couldn't call him "Dad" and sometimes I would call him "Pop" but he was always just Mr. Lastname to me

 

[Marseeya]

It is a sign of respect in certain areas of the country, specifically the south. But not all consider it that way. There have been entire threads about that here in the recent past. That is what I was referring to.

I remember the first time I was ever called "ma'am." I was in my late teens and someone a bit younger called me that in a store and I was crushed! I kept thinking to myself, "Surely I don't look that old!!!"

 

[Marseeya]

When I was younger, and in most cases still today, I call my friends parents Mr. & Mrs. Lastname. I don't see anything wrong with that....it's manners. I have also seen the trend coming now of Miss Firstname/Mr. Firstname. I don't see anything wrong with that at all and would encourage it of my child (when I have one). I even called my ex-FIL Mr. Lastname. I couldn't call him "Dad" and sometimes I would call him "Pop" but he was always just Mr. Lastname to me

I couldn't call my FIL "Dad" either. He's too young to be my father and it just felt entirely too weird for both of us, LOL. So I call him by his first name. He'd die if I called him Mr. Last Name.

 

[Fire14]

My niece's call my Dh Uncle Monkey!!!!!! granted I was extremely embarassed when in middle of WOD store in DTD She's yelling Uncle Monkey where are you.

I think the monkey part came from a joke we pulled on my mom one year. Nothing like seeing this big guy carrying a HUGE stuffed monkey. K was maybe 1 1/2 yrs old and since she's always called him that her cuz picked up on it and started calling my DH it too.

 

[NMAmy]

I prefer to be called by my first name--I always called my parents' friends and my friends' parents by their first name and it didn't mean I didn't respect them. I think a lot of it varies by the part of the country in which you were raised--dd has a tendency to call everyone Miss So and So which she did when she was little in New Mexico.

I don't mind being called Mrs. LastName or Miss Amy. I do dislike it when dd's friends call me Mom. My favorite was a little boy that dd went to school with who would always loudly refer to me as "Mrs. Caitlin's Mom!"

 

[Maleficent13]

Most likely my DD will be taught to address adults as Mr/Mrs Lastname until she is told by them to call them something else. That's what's considered respectful around here. If I lived in the south, more than likely I'd teach her to address adults as Mr/Miss Firstname, because that's how it's done down there. To everyone their own.

 

[DawnCt1]

I do too. I also think when kids get older (teenager age) that it's fine to call their friends parent's by their first name.

I actually had one of DS's friends call me by my first name. I responded with, "Mrs Last Name" please. I think it is presumptious of any child or teen to call adults by their first name. To expect them to address an adult properly is not a "power trip" as a previous poster stated, but good manners.

 

[cats7494]

I taught my dd to call people Mr. or Mrs. Last name....unless told otherwise by that person.

However, I am not picky about what DD's friends call me. I don't mind being called by my first name. I don't think it is disrespectful at all...they have never shown me disrespect in any way.

 

[Crankyshank]

I'm 30 and I still call my parents' friends Mr or Mrs last name unless specifically told to call them something else.

 

[snoopy]

My kids call my good friends Ms. Firstname; anyone else is Ms. Lastname.

I too call my friends' parents Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. Believe it or not I still call my FIL Mr. Lastname. They never invited me to call them by their first names, and I certainly could not call them Mom or Dad, so I've always called him Mr. Lastname when addressing him. She is gone now but I called her Grandma if I had to call her anything, usually I avoided calling her anything at all.

 

[Lisa AF]

I stated before that my children call adults Mr. or Mrs. Lastname unless the adult offers their first name. However, If a child calls an adult by their first name because their parents didn't teach them to use Mr. or Mrs. I think it is ungracious to correct him. To make a child uncomfortable or to insult his manners (which might otherwise be exceptable) is equally as disrespectful as as the childs use of an adults first name (I think more so as the adult should know better).
Children who aren't respected won't respect you back even if they are calling you Mr. or Mrs. Just MO.

 

[va32h]

I prefer to be called "Mrs. Lastname" by children. I don't feel that it's a power trip; It's just what I prefer.

Most of the time though, my kids' friends address me as "um? Natalie's mom?" or they don't speak to me at all, and relay all communication through my child!

Our kids start off calling everyone Mr and Mrs, if the adults prefer something else, then they change.

 

[mickeyboat]

My kids call all close friends and family members by first names. When I introduce them to someone new, it's Mr./Mrs. Last Name until the adult gives them an alternative.

In my circle of friends and acquaintances, I have never heard someone call an adult Mrs. Firstname. That sounds weird to me.

Denae

 

[aprilgail2]

I HATE Ma'am...that is out for sure LOL....I don't like Mrs or Miss lastname and I can't stand Miss Gail...that one really makes the hairs on my neck stand up! I prefer to be called by my first name, thats my name and I like it...anything else is way to formal for me..and I do feel like insisiting on being called Mrs. Lastname is somewhat of a power trip and I don't care for it..my duaghter calls my friends and her firends parents by their first names and their kids do the same...I don't think that the type of people that would insist on "Mrs Lastname" would be the kind of people I would have a close friendship with anyway since we would be VERY different type people!