How many of you, like me, work FT and PT and get criticized by friends and family?

[ilovediznee]

I work both FT and PT (as many of you know from my other posts). My DH and I decided that because he might have to travel, that it would be best for me to get another job. I work 3-4 days a week either during the week or a combo by working one day over the weekend. Is it ideal, no, but one of us needs to be home with your 10 year old DD.

I know I am not the only person who works two jobs, yet I have both coworkers and family asking me "so how long are you going to keep doing this?" or "why do you work both FT and PT?" I'm not trying to be rude, but MY INCOME DOESN"T PAY THE BILLS AND I HAVE BOTH MEDICAL AND CC DEBT."

I already feel guilty enough as it is by working an evening or two during the week, but I make sure my DD's lunch gets made every night, I take her to and from her GS meetings and attend them and work my schedule around her activities.

This is what I have to do right now and I'm doing the best I can, and millions of others are having to do the same things, yet I get criticized!

I am doing the right thing by taking responsibility for my bills and my DH is able to spend time with our DD that he might not ordinarily get too, yet I'm sad....

I'm not looking to get flamed, but support for our decision knowing it is the right one!

Diane

 

[Cjmuma]

I think that if there are things you want and things your family needs, and you are able to provide those things... then What is the problem?!?!?!?!? I am an RN and as such make MUCH more money than my DH, so therefore... I am the one who works more and DH works one job and takes care of the house etc... It is what works for us. As long as what you are doing works for you, then there is no need to explain yourself to anyone!

 

[luvthemouse71]

There will always be people who feel the need to criticize. If you didn't work, there would be people raking you over the coals for that.

You are doing what you think is best for your family. Do you think it may be jealousy because some of them may not have a job? Just throwing that out there. At any rate, try not to let these people get to you.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I have to say, you have a lot more restraint than I do. I would probably tell anyone who comments to mind their own business, and not to comment until they have walked a month in my shoes.
You do what you have to in order to get by, screw anyone who thinks they need an explanation.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I know I am not the only person who works two jobs, yet I have both coworkers and family asking me "so how long are you going to keep doing this?" or "why do you work both FT and PT?"

"We couldn't get our coworkers or family members to support us, so I had to get two jobs. Thanks for your concern."

 

[mousermerf]

Well, I would definitely make a concerted effort to find a better paying FT job. It's been my experience that confidence and attempting to do so are the only real reasons some people get paid more then others - it 99% of the time has nothing to do with skill, training, or ability.

I don't know your situation, but I have a friend who just finished grad school who is working her butt off to support her "fiancée" and his kid, which I think is downright ridiculous. That jerk needs to get a job and she's heard it from me and her family and her other friends too - that's people looking out for her and trying to make her see the light.

But as long as your other half is contributing or if he is out of work it's actively being dealt with (lord knows times are hard) then I don't see the problem. You just need to be apply for better paying positions when you can though - being employed makes you vastly more employable.. it's stupid logic, but it's how HR thinks for some reason.

 

[Mom B]

No criticism here, just admiration for your ability to juggle all that! I keep thinking I'd like to get a part time job but with my full time day job and us babysitting our 2 yr old granddaughter part time (evenings and weekends)while her mom works, I just can't see it happening. Besides that, I've had a lot of health problems recently that makes it physically impossible (not to mention, need time for all those medical and physical therapy appointments!) Do it while you can, there may come a day when you won't be able to. Good luck to you!

 

[kfeuer]

I'm working full-time plus have 2 part-time jobs (both from home, thankfully) and I've gotten some comments, but mostly from concern, I think. I'm not going to lie, working this much is brutal.

However, my DH got laid off last year and is bound by a non-compete agreement for 2 years. We consulted a labor attorney and we can't break it without risking being sued. He's not qualified to do anything else that makes near the money he was making. He's temping part-time right now making half his old salary (plus we're getting partial unemployment).

Long story short, we're doing what it takes to hold onto our house. We tried to sell it, but with the best offer we got we would have lost $25,000. We chose to stick it out.

People can only bug you if you let them. I know I'm doing this for my family, and there's nothing anyone can say that changes that. Sometimes you've just got to do what you've go to do. I'm thankful for the jobs I have--I just got my full-time job in April and it's got good benefits and pay and room for advancement. I was lucky to get it. Hang in there, things will get better one of these days!

 

[eyor44]

I really wish people would mind their own business.

I work FT outside the home and then do things in the evening to earn extra income at home. I get all kinds of comments about it from different people that now I don't talk about my extra work. The kicker is one of my DM's friends critizes me for working FT. She thinks I should be home for my kids. I can't and my kids are very well taken care of and have no problems in school or anywheres else. I go in very early so I can be home in the afternoon when they get home and DH goes in late so he can take care of the mornings. We are doing what we need to do and it works for us.

Especially with the economy the way it is, people just need to lighten up and be happy that there are those of us who are taking care of ourselves and our responsibilities.

 

[bumbershoot]

However, my DH got laid off last year and is bound by a non-compete agreement for 2 years. We consulted a labor attorney and we can't break it without risking being sued.

So it's still in effect despite it being THEIR decision to let him go? That just seems crazy to me. Has he talked to his old HR department to see if he can get some sort of permission to have it waived, since it was NOT his decision to have to go look for other jobs?

 

[TandLMommy28]

I work part time FROM HOME (freelance writing) and I get grief about that--how can I be paying attention to my kids when I am at the computer? GRR! It drives me nuts. Why does anyone think it's their business to comment on how much anyone else works? I have so much admiration for someone who sees a problem and finds a solution, even if that solution is working more than you really want to. Good for you!

 

[MoniqueU]

I say good for you!! We live in a county where unemployment last I heard was like 15 percent. I know a heck of alot of people out of work and for long periods of time, so long they are living with family and out of unemployment. Since we have been marrried my DH has been in the car business (don't throw stuff at me) He works crazy hours. At one position he would go in at 8 am then stay til 2 am and get back up and go back in. It's insane. The ecomomy dove and alot of people he knew got let go and didn't find anything or lost all they had. We are eeking by and a few months ago he got a job at his dream store. I thank my lucky stars daily that he even has a job. I get simalar rude comments from all my family over the years making comments about why my husband isn't with me at important family things. He can't call in sick, he can't use a vacation day etc etc. He just can't. It doesn't matter that it is my grandmas 75th birthday if it is his weekend on. Thank god graduations are during the week so he can swap that stuff around but thats about it. So I have never worked as someone needed to be here with the kids but we put up with the same thing and then some of my working neighbors want to know why I don't work now LOL. No matter what you do if you aren't doing the same thing as the other person is they don't get it and question your life!! It doesn't matter what it is, work, parenting, money, travel, politics, religion etc. People think if you live differently then them there is something wrong with the way you are doing it.

 

[ilovediznee]

Thank you everyone for your support. I was hoping all night that this is what I'd get and I did, so it gives me some peace. I got up this morning and I'm trying to have a better attitude.

Just a few FYI's - my DH works FT so he isn't out of a job, THANK GOD and our DD's is taken care of after school by my MIL. I love her to death and sometimes I feel I have a better relationship with her than my own Mom, yet she is the one who was questioning me yesterday about this. I was shocked to say the least. She never and I mean, never says stuff like this. It all started with her asking about my schedule this week for work and I said I was workign at my PT job Tues and Thursday and Saturday. That turned into, "well, you won't be home much....how much longer are you going to be working there because DH misses you so much..."


Like I said, parental guilt just went thru me. I couldn't hide it from my DH either. When I got home I told him as well and he was mortified. We understand how grateful we are for her to pick up DD from school and watch her until we get home, she's been doing it since she was an infant.

Thanks for your support - Diane

 

[Kteacher]

I've worked a p/t and a f/t job for over 12 years. When people ask me why I just tell them I work hard and play hard

 

[LovableGluttons]

Yup! Add me to the list. I have worked at more than one job over the years a few times. When the criticism comes from family, they make it out like it is out of concernfor your well bring. From your peers like it is something wrong with you for achieving goals thatperhaps they would like too, but don't feel the effort is worth ith to them. My in laws loveto criticize inone breath, then bemoan their own poor financial situation in the next.

Hang in there, you are definitely not alone.

 

[Helene]

I've always worked 2 jobs. In fact, many people in my profession (Social Work) often do. I've been doing it for 20 years and in fact I've resigned from my full time position recently because my "second job" is now doing well enough that I can sustain myself. Even though I'm quitting FT, I anticipate still working more than 40 hours a week. In my situation, I simply love my work and my kids have done really well having both parents share the responsibility of raising them.

Don't let the opinions of others interfere with what is good for you. Let's just say that my in-laws aren't my biggest fans After realizing that no matter what I did I wasn't going to please them, I just began to do more for me and my family. After 17 years, we are very satisfied while others continue to criticize.....live your life for YOU

 

[SDSorority]

I work FT and PT, my DH works FT and is working on his MBA FT.... I totally get you. I hear about it all the time... from lots of people. People ALWAYS think that I should be doing 'something else'. You'll never please people... AND IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO PLEASE THEM. The only thing that is important, that I have taken a long time to realize, is that you need to do what is best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR HOUSE right now. In this moment. That's it. No one else... no other time.

 

[jimmytammy]

Sounds like you are doing what you have to for your family. I work my full time job, plus pick up hours on weekends so we can do those needed WDW getaways! My DW is a homeschool mom and for our kids, I wouldnt have it any other way.

Not trying to push something on you, but read Dave Ramseys book Total Money Makeover. It will change your life if you adopt to it and remain serious about it. It is the most common sense approach to saving money, paying off those nasty bills, and getting ahead in life, so one day, having to work two jobs wont be a necessity.

You may be able to get it at your local library, thus saves the $$. Get your DH on board was you get in the groove of it. I hope it helps, it did us, and I hope you get a new lease on life soon, and stop paying attention to what others say so much, sometimes people are just jealous, cause you are working circles around them.

 

[MsLeFever]

I work a second job in retail - and learned that other than the managers - EVERYONE their also has a "big girl job". PT pays for Disney!

 

[nunzia]

I also have FT and a PT and then do some Ebay on the side. I've always had multiple jobs, so it's a way of life. I don't know why people think they can tell you anything about how you live your life..you aren't mooching off society or anyone else, so it's really not their business. I admire people who try to keep their life going forward the old fashioned way...work. About your MIL, maybe she is truly just concerned about your health working as much as you do..it sounds like she is completely supportive and you are so lucky to have her, so I would hope her questions are coming from concern and not judgement.