How long do you give your child when

[Tikitoi]

trying something new? For example, my dd8 has been taking piano for 6 months now and seems to be doing good enough that at least she was able to participate in a recital after 3 months then after 6 months of lessons. But on the other hand she is not into practicing or studying her notes the way her teacher wants her too. If I try to get her to practice for the 10-15 mins/day she throws a fit. I geuss I'm thinking if she were really into it she would not be giving me such a hard time about practicing at home! And it seemed that after 2 weeks break she has forgotten some to the point that she was getting very frustrated! But also on the other side I geuss there are some issues with her teacher in that she does things one way for some people then another way for others. Example: When my friend, who got us into this had to cancel for her dd the teacher asked her when she wanted to make it up? But when I had to cancel and asked about makeups she told me that if the client cancels they dont do makeups, only if the teacher cancels they do makeup. She knows I know this other lady, I couldnt believe she told me this. Another example when I signed my dd up I purposely took a late evening so that we wouldnt have to do Sat's. But today she asked me if I would be available on Sat's because she may have to attend some community meetings on our night at our time, she didnt say how many but she already has one next week! And finally I am paying for a 30 min weekly lesson well sometimes she decides after 20 mins that its been enough for my daughter. I know she's done this to my friend as well. I just dont know if I'm overreacting but I want to be fair to my daughter, who when you ask her about continuing depending on what day it is it can be yes or no. So how long do you give your child. Thanks for the vent.

 

[cheerbop]

My son has been taking lessons for about 2 years now. He is 9.
I say give it some more time. He definitely still has his good days and his bad days, but he really does like it when he is having a good day.
He enjoys that he is learning something that alot of others are not.
He also likes getting the compliments on his good playing after recitals, etc.

I say give it some more time and see what happens. She may start to really find her "niche".
If not, then let her take a "break" and try it again...???

I know when I was in school I wanted to stop doing something. My mom would not let me for a whole year. After that year was over, I did not want to quit. She may still want to, but at least you are letting her REALLY give it an honest "try".

Good Luck.

 

[Beth76]

I would think that after 6 months and 2 recitals your daughter knows what's up. Besides, I wouldn't be too happy with the current teacher so maybe now's a good time to part ways.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I played piano and HATED practice - but I was good at the piano, so I wouldn't judge DD's interest on playing the piano with her lack of enthusiasum for practice. I don't think that 6 months at the piano is long enough to know if you don't like it. Give it another 6 months. She is still in the learning the notes and keys phase, once she starts playing songs she recognizes, it will open a whole new world.

 

[taximomfor4]

there's a very fine line between teaching your child stick-to-it-ive-ness and creating a true dislike. I think at age 8, a child could tell you WHY they don't want to practice that 10-15 minutes/day. If it is because they don't really like playing piano, they probably really don't like it. Music is certainly not for everyone.

Oh, and only you know your child. My older girls both really stick to their activities for a good long time. They genuinely like those activities. So them, I would trust if they didn't want to do something after 6 months.

You know, your child can always go back to it later.

As for teachers, my one dd plays viola. She has been under the same private teacher for 3 yrs now, I think. VERY often, we have to cancel or the teacher has to cancel. Usually, we don't bother with make-ups, but I also don't pay for those lessons. Sometimes my dd will reach the point of near-frustration in a tough lesson before her half-hour is up, so she is let out early. Other times, they are really flowing in the lesson so she is kept a bit over (this recently happens more, since she has gotten quite good, and mature at handling criticism and pointers).

HTH some.

Beth

 

[Tinijocaro]

trying something new? For example, my dd8 has been taking piano for 6 months now and seems to be doing good enough that at least she was able to participate in a recital after 3 months then after 6 months of lessons. But on the other hand she is not into practicing or studying her notes the way her teacher wants her too. If I try to get her to practice for the 10-15 mins/day she throws a fit. I geuss I'm thinking if she were really into it she would not be giving me such a hard time about practicing at home!


DH and I are both music teachers with kids in music lessons, and my kids often squawk about having to practice. I think your average kid doesn't like to practice. Of course there are kids who will do it without being asked, but I believe that is the exception. I have a son who has been playing 4 years and wants to quit, and I just may let him, not sure. He also takes private trumpet, so that is a lot.


And it seemed that after 2 weeks break she has forgotten some to the point that she was getting very frustrated! But also on the other side I geuss there are some issues with her teacher in that she does things one way for some people then another way for others. Example: When my friend, who got us into this had to cancel for her dd the teacher asked her when she wanted to make it up? But when I had to cancel and asked about makeups she told me that if the client cancels they dont do makeups, only if the teacher cancels they do makeup. She knows I know this other lady, I couldnt believe she told me this.

If I have a student who gives me at least 24 hours notice, I will try to do a makeup. No notice, no makeup. If a child is sick or there is a real family emergency, I will either give a makeup or credit them the following month. If a student decides she has too much homework, or stayed up too late last night, or just hasn't practiced and wants to cancel- their loss, not mine. They are out that lesson. My students pay by the month.

Another example when I signed my dd up I purposely took a late evening so that we wouldnt have to do Sat's. But today she asked me if I would be available on Sat's because she may have to attend some community meetings on our night at our time, she didnt say how many but she already has one next week!

I think you need to be flexible here- sometimes, things come up. I know this sounds like a contradiction, but what if all her students had stuff "come up" each week, she would never be able to get a schedule going, no consistency for the students. If you can make the switch for a while, then I would do it.


And finally I am paying for a 30 min weekly lesson well sometimes she decides after 20 mins that its been enough for my daughter. I know she's done this to my friend as well. I just dont know if I'm overreacting but I want to be fair to my daughter, who when you ask her about continuing depending on what day it is it can be yes or no. So how long do you give your child. Thanks for the vent.

Often, I find that the younger students only have a 20 minute attention span. I personally would never end a lesson 10 minutes early due to that though. Maybe 3 minutes, but not 10. For the younger students, usually in the middle of the lesson, or when I sense I am losing them, I will spend a minute or two talking about something completely unrelated to music, to give their little brains some downtime. However, if your dd just isn't practicing any more, and she comes in week after week unprepared, then ending the lesson early seems very reasonable to me, however, I would let the child and parent know why. I can always find something to work on with my students even if they didn't practice, though.

As far as whether or not to have your dd continue, that's a tough one. Sometimes, you just need to get them over the "hump". Push them through the uninterested period. Other times, even that won't work. Is there any other recital, or school arts festival she can be a part of? Sounds like she likes working toward a goal- public performance often kicks my students into gear. Maybe you and some friends whose kids study music privately could organize a little nursing home visit or something- use your imagination. I have one student who hardly practices, but when there is a music event coming up where he will be judged, he works his butt off. Good luck- it's always a tough call to make.

 

[Galahad]

Also, IMO, at that age it's better to be happy with a solid 10 minutes of practice then trying to push them to practice longer. If they are still with it in another year or two the time will expand on its own.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Also, IMO, at that age it's better to be happy with a solid 10 minutes of practice then trying to push them to practice longer. If they are still with it in another year or two the time will expand on its own.

That's a really good point Galahad! I had one mom who I found out was making her son practice violin for 40 minutes a day- he was a beginner. I told her 10 minutes was plenty.

 

[Tikitoi]

However, if your dd just isn't practicing any more, and she comes in week after week unprepared, then ending the lesson early seems very reasonable to me, however, I would let the child and parent know why. I can always find something to work on with my students even if they didn't practice, though.[/COLOR]

Thanks for the advice. As far as practicing my dd does its just that she gives me a hard time about doing it that makes me think she may not be into it so much. She was very well prepared for the 2 recitals that they have had so far. Also as far as cancel notice I gave her a week because I told her at the previous lesson. But after last night when we went she said my dd did very well for not practicing for 2 weeks so we probably will go ahead and finish the year out. Thanks All!